The third episode of Chaotic Cadre promises an enthralling descent into the depths of absurdity, as we explore outrageous topics ranging from Vatican time machines and underground lizard people to the latest gaming phenomena. This evening, we will engage in a no-holds-barred discussion, unleashing our unfiltered thoughts on the most bizarre and savage aspects of contemporary culture, all while roasting our viewers with a fervor that is unparalleled. Join us as we dissect the chaos that envelops our lives, featuring the likes of Mark G and John S, who will bear witness to the insanity that unfolds. Tune in at 9:45 PM EST on YouTube, Rumble, and X for an experience too outrageous for TikTok. Share the madness, or risk missing out on the spectacle that is sure to ensue.
The third episode of the Chaos Cadre podcast, set to air at 9:45 PM EST, promises an eclectic blend of topics ranging from the bizarre to the conspiratorial. Mark G and John S delve into the depths of absurdity by discussing everything from Vatican time machines to the underground activities of Lizard People. They lampoon various subjects, including viewers like Zuba, who is humorously depicted as a trailer-dwelling Sasquatch, and Gary, a health-conscious figure with exaggerated features. The hosts invite listeners to join them live on platforms like YouTube and Rumble, ensuring an interactive experience filled with spontaneous roasts, savage commentary, and an exploration of the latest in gaming, particularly focusing on Schedule I and popular titles like World of Warcraft. This episode is not merely a casual chat; it is a cacophony of chaotic commentary that challenges the audience to wake up and engage with the bizarre realities of modern life.
Takeaways:
- In this episode of Chaotic Cadre, we delve into outrageous topics like Vatican time machines and Lizard People, showcasing our unfiltered approach to bizarre conspiracies.
- We engage with our audience through comedic roasts, highlighting the absurdity of everyday life while encouraging participation and interaction during the show.
- The chaotic nature of the episode is underscored by our discussions on absurd news stories, including a woman living in a toilet and attempts to smuggle exotic animals.
- Our commitment to humor and chaos is evident as we prepare for a live challenge involving the infamous Toe of Satan, inviting our viewers to partake in the madness.
Transcript
One's a grunt, one's a squid Talking trash like a couple of kids no script, no plan, just running their mouths if you don't like chaos, better tap out.
Speaker A:We got bad jokes, worst taste eating like trash, saying what we think no filter, no clue, no rules, no shame if it don't make sense who's to blame?
Speaker A:So grab a beer, sit back, don't stress it's just two dumb vets making a mess.
Speaker B:,:Speaker B:Oh my God this is gonna be insane.
Speaker B:I'm Mark G.
Speaker B:A hot sauce chugging X army grunt with five kids.
Speaker B:I can't stop popping out and I have a walking disaster.
Speaker B:Finally I'm banned for tick tock after those snowflake losers cried about my truth.
Speaker B:But I gained five more pounds this week, needing to lose 30 because I'm a fat ass who can't stop shoving cheese FR gullet like a human garbage disposal.
Speaker B:I've been streaming World of Warcraft and Schedule 1.
Speaker B:Pretending I'm a drug dealing orc while my gut grows bigger than your mom's.
Speaker B:Look at me.
Speaker B:Hey washed up TikTok reject with a cleaning gig yelling at pixels like a drill sergeant who got kicked out for being too pathetic, you drooling unwashed morons.
Speaker B:Then there's John S.
Speaker B:My co host, a pickle weeping who shaved his face for a hundred dollars.
Speaker B:Last episode thanks to our MVP viewer marte selling his dignity on stream like a two bit stripper at a truck stop.
Speaker B:And now he's been sick all week hacking up his big gut.
Speaker B:Boy, shame walking by a hazard.
Speaker B:This trampoline arcade manager is a wheezing fat ass mess, coughing his lungs out while his step kid sharpens her knife.
Speaker B:Between his hundred doll shave and his gut looks like he swallowed a beach ball.
Speaker B:He's the human equivalent of a clogged toilet and I'm stuck dragging his diseased carcass through this show.
Speaker B:Oh my God John, you're a fucking disgrace.
Speaker B:Tonight we've got mind blowing conspiracies, Wild News Schedule 1, Drama Time Streaming games and more.
Speaker B:Stick around you brainless fucking drones because we're about to roast two of you fucking clowns next.
Speaker B:All right, there's our little intro real quick ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker B:I had to rumble that off real quick because I had to get John's reaction.
Speaker B:John how you doing my man?
Speaker C:You know how to breathe.
Speaker B:Oh, how you doing my man?
Speaker B:Crying, but hey, John, I'm not done yet.
Speaker B:I'm not done yet.
Speaker B:I'm not done.
Speaker B:Here we go now.
Speaker B:Now for our bureau segment, y'all you miserable freaks.
Speaker B:Freaks.
Speaker B:First up, I got Zuba.
Speaker B:A gamer with five kids slaving as a mechanic in a Missouri trailer, rocking a wild beer that looks like he's hiding a meth lab in there.
Speaker B:This grease stained hillbillies raising a small army in a tin can gaming while his beard grows more feral than your sister's armpits.
Speaker B:Congrats Zuba, you're a walking Walmart.
Speaker B:Clarence Bin, you trailer tr Sasquatch.
Speaker B:Probably banging your cousin while your kids eat dirt.
Speaker B:Then there's my brother Gary G.
Speaker B:My co host on the Mark G show, living in Oregon, working in sales, expecting his kid in two weeks.
Speaker B:Good luck, you health nut freak with a nose so huge it looks like a Boeing 747 parked on your face.
Speaker B:Gary's out here juicing Kale while his snoz cast a shadow over Portland pretending he's fit when we all know he's out there one donut away from joining my gut club.
Speaker B:Smile you big nose baby daddy disaster.
Speaker B:You're a walking juice cleanse ad and a face only Landfill could love.
Speaker B:John, you got anything to say or you too busy coughing up your dignity with that $100 shave disease ridded gut, you wheezing, trampoline managing dipshit.
Speaker B:Oh my God.
Speaker B:Let's fucking roll into the show.
Speaker C:I hate you.
Speaker B:Why do you hate me?
Speaker C:That was so good.
Speaker C:Hi star.
Speaker B:What is going on?
Speaker B:Everybody welco chaos cadre the show.
Speaker B:We're gonna talk, give you the weirdest conspiracy theories, the weirdest news that has happened throughout the week and John and I just gonna be talking, you know, this is how we do, just how we do, just how we do on this show.
Speaker C:I'm crying.
Speaker B:Take a damn breath.
Speaker B:I don't like taking breath, Zuba.
Speaker B:I like to just go full fledged right into it.
Speaker B:That's why I got five kids, because I know how to dive in.
Speaker B:You should know how that's like Zuba that you should know how that's like.
Speaker C:How to pull out.
Speaker B:Dude, you can't pull out.
Speaker B:There's no satisfaction in pulling out, okay?
Speaker B:If you're gonna go in, you gotta let it stay in there, get a little wet, move it around and just never pull out.
Speaker B:Because you got to get that instant relief and you're going, it feels so good.
Speaker B:Anyways, John, how was your week, my man?
Speaker C:Terrible.
Speaker B:Terrible.
Speaker B:Well, that's horrible.
Speaker B:Why was it terrible?
Speaker C:Dude, I was sick all week.
Speaker C:I didn't even get to enjoy my time off.
Speaker B:Like, oh, that sucks, dude.
Speaker C:I slept like, 17 hours one day.
Speaker C:It was great.
Speaker C:Can't pull out the driveway.
Speaker C:I did.
Speaker C:Yo, Marte.
Speaker C:I did see her.
Speaker C:Hello.
Speaker C:What's up, baby?
Speaker B:What's up, Marty?
Speaker B:I believe I did hear John say hello during my full blown, non breathtaking freaking read out there.
Speaker C:I'm surprised this month.
Speaker C:Good night, sweetheart.
Speaker C:Love you.
Speaker B:Oh, good night, sweetheart.
Speaker B:You go a big.
Speaker B:Good, good now.
Speaker C:Okay, listen, you be nice to my daughter.
Speaker B:Make sure you pukey puke in John's lap next time and we can catch it on camera.
Speaker B:Maybe Marty will offer you $100 to puke in his lap.
Speaker B:Oh, not a cho.
Speaker C:Pony.
Speaker B:Okay, well, you are just a little bit.
Speaker B:We like that about you, John.
Speaker B:Well, folks.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:Tell her I said hi.
Speaker C:Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here.
Speaker C:Claire's in the chat.
Speaker B:Hold on, y'all.
Speaker B:John's going to get a stepdaughter real quick.
Speaker B:For those who are listening to audio, she's got somebody in there.
Speaker C:Say hi to your bestie.
Speaker B:Hi.
Speaker B:We're gonna be good real quick because.
Speaker B:Oh, she's ready to grab that knife, y'all.
Speaker B:She's ready to freaking take him out like Chucky.
Speaker C:Hi, bestie.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, she still wants to take him out like Chucky.
Speaker B:Look at that face, y'all.
Speaker B:She's got the face of a freaking serial killer right there, y'all.
Speaker C:She's so sick right now, dude.
Speaker B:Oh, she's gonna take you out.
Speaker C:Claire's asking, how are you?
Speaker C:She's not good, bro.
Speaker C:She just threw up.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:Is that cold enough for you?
Speaker B:She only threw up after John got home and she smelt him.
Speaker B:She's like, oh, my God, that garbage.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:It was just.
Speaker B:Oh, my.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker C:Dude, you're such an.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:I'm listening.
Speaker C:Listen, Linda, Listen, listen, everyone in chat, I want you to do me a favor, okay?
Speaker C:I want you to tap that share button and send it out to all your friends and get the up in here.
Speaker B:Y'all got to share this out, man, because if you don't.
Speaker B:Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker B:I see Claire's got a question for me.
Speaker B:Do you to ask the question now?
Speaker B:Do you want to wait till I open up phone lines later and call in and ask the question?
Speaker B:You can definitely ask the question in chat right now if you want.
Speaker B:Or you can wait till we release the phone number here in a little bit during the segment where we allow y'all to call into the show and talk to us, because that'll be coming up in a little bit.
Speaker C:Are we doing that question thing again?
Speaker B:We possibly could.
Speaker B:We can quiz your ass again.
Speaker C:We all know I'm dumber than two piles of rocks.
Speaker B:You are.
Speaker B:I think we should do a quiz on you.
Speaker B:If you're smarter than a second grader, you'd probably fail still.
Speaker B:But that's all right.
Speaker B:We'll try it.
Speaker C:I mean, probably.
Speaker C:Dude.
Speaker C:I'm dumb.
Speaker B:When are you waiting for a waiter?
Speaker B:Aren't you the waiter?
Speaker B:Huh?
Speaker C:When you're waiting for a waiter, aren't you then?
Speaker C:The waiter?
Speaker B:Why are you trying to.
Speaker B:With my head right now?
Speaker B:Is this some stoner psychology?
Speaker C:Eclair doesn't do drugs, bro.
Speaker B:Well, this seems like a stoner question to me.
Speaker C:It's not.
Speaker B:Speaking of stoners, my daughter just came up the stairs.
Speaker B:Yes, my daughter.
Speaker B:Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker C:Is she really a stoner?
Speaker B:No, she's not a stoner.
Speaker B:I wanted to get a reaction.
Speaker B:What's up?
Speaker B:What's up?
Speaker C:Lies.
Speaker B:We're live.
Speaker B:Nothing.
Speaker B:Oh, okay.
Speaker B:We're gonna go back to recording then.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:She has no questions.
Speaker B:Your.
Speaker C:Your on air sign isn't on.
Speaker B:Sweetheart, my on air sign is on.
Speaker B:It's just the lighting.
Speaker B:It's taken.
Speaker B:It's blocking it out.
Speaker C:No, that's.
Speaker C:Bro, it's not on.
Speaker C:Your.
Speaker B:Adriana.
Speaker B:She won't, because she'll be caught on camera.
Speaker B:She don't want to be caught on camera.
Speaker B:My on air light is on, though, Johnny boy.
Speaker C:No, it's not.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:Let's not argue about my on air light, okay?
Speaker B:Because it is on.
Speaker B:I'm using extra camera additives to make my picture a little bit bright because I looked at these clips we've been doing lately, and the clips have been asked because I'm so dark that you would think that I came from a different continent is how fucking dark I am, okay?
Speaker B:So where I'm supposed to look like fucking Casper, I had to make sure my lighting was a little bit brighter, okay?
Speaker B:So therefore I could look like goddamn Casper and not like I'm over the goddamn fucking seas over there, okay?
Speaker B:So here I am looking bright as fuck.
Speaker B:Well, what do you got to say, John?
Speaker C:Why are you a bigot?
Speaker B:I'm not being a goddamn bigot, all right?
Speaker C:It's my camera.
Speaker C:Light enough here.
Speaker B:My camera is light enough for me.
Speaker B:Your camera?
Speaker B:You could probably use A better lighting.
Speaker B:But, you know, your.
Speaker B:Your stepdaughter stole your ring light, and now we got to figure out how to get you a new ring light so you can stream with a ring light and make you pop.
Speaker B:We gotta make you pop, John.
Speaker B:You're not popping right now.
Speaker C:No one.
Speaker B:We do.
Speaker B:We want.
Speaker B:We want to see you pop because we want to be able to see that shave face, you know, because we had to get your.
Speaker C:Your.
Speaker B:Your tickler shaved off there.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Like my daughter says, we're gonna make you a little.
Speaker B:Pretty little princess.
Speaker C:I'll.
Speaker C:I'll fight you.
Speaker C:I'll fight you.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:All right, brother, you ready for some news?
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:Let me see.
Speaker B:Where.
Speaker B:Let me see what I typed up here.
Speaker B:So we're gonna talk.
Speaker C:Lay it on me, papa.
Speaker B:All right, John, after each news clip, I am gonna talk to you to see what you think about it, okay?
Speaker C:I'm.
Speaker C:I'm.
Speaker B:Are you ready?
Speaker B:All right, so first up, the Vatican's got a time machine.
Speaker B:That's right, the Corona visor, built in the 50s by a priest who watched Jesus get nailed to the cross.
Speaker B:And hd, the Pope's been rewriting history, erasing anyone who knows too much while you idiots pray for their edited Bible.
Speaker B:Meanwhile, there's time traveling puppet masters laughing at you dumbasses.
Speaker B:John, you think the Vatican's just sipping wine, or are they hopping through time to screw us all?
Speaker B:What's your take on this, you spineless clown?
Speaker C:I don't think they're time traveling, personally.
Speaker B:You don't think they're time traveling?
Speaker C:I think.
Speaker C:I think that would be a lot different if they were.
Speaker C:Honestly, There's a bunch of pedophiles, dude.
Speaker B:Oh, damn.
Speaker B:You're going straight up like that with the.
Speaker B:Is it the Pope, though?
Speaker B:Mindy, the screenshots are not working, so I don't have.
Speaker B:We're not through obs.
Speaker B:We're using a different software called EV Mux to stream the podcast.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's a completely different than the gaming scene.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:It's very rude.
Speaker C:I'm sorry, Mindy.
Speaker C:I don't know what you want me to do.
Speaker B:Mindy, we're trying to have a conversation here, and you're gonna be yelling at us over some screenshots here.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I got you.
Speaker B:You ready?
Speaker B:Hey, John, smile.
Speaker B:There's your screenshot.
Speaker B:I'll post it on Tick Tock and Snapchat.
Speaker B:Okay, back to.
Speaker B:You were talking about the freaking.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:Honestly, though, I mean, I think it's like certain Catholic priests.
Speaker B:Yes, because they have been busted, right?
Speaker B:Catholic priests have been busted the most.
Speaker B:Shut up.
Speaker C:What they don't have, they don't have.
Speaker C:A time machine, maybe.
Speaker B:What about the Titanic as a time traveling machine?
Speaker C:I mean, that could be true, but listen, listen, okay?
Speaker C:Time machine.
Speaker C:Think of how many little boys they'd be touching.
Speaker B:Oh, dear God.
Speaker B:What about the poor?
Speaker B:I can't clip this.
Speaker B:What about the portal.
Speaker B:What about the portals that are inside the Vatican, right?
Speaker B:Isn't there, like, over, like, 100 portals inside this Vatican?
Speaker B:Wasn't like, on New Year's Eve, he was supposed to open.
Speaker B:He was supposed to open up a portal to some type of jail.
Speaker B:And like, we thought he was releasing Lucifer on New Year's Eve.
Speaker C:No, dude, it wasn't releasing Lucifer.
Speaker C:He was just releasing Lucifer.
Speaker C:Respond, dude.
Speaker B:Lucifer.
Speaker B:Oh, Lucifer.
Speaker B:So that's just better, right?
Speaker B:Lucifer Spawn is better than Lucifer?
Speaker C:Yeah, dude.
Speaker C:Yeah, he's supposed to be nicer.
Speaker B:How much nicer?
Speaker C:Like a hundredfold nicer.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Have you met Lucifer Spawn?
Speaker C:No, I did not yet, I'm not.
Speaker B:I mean, what if.
Speaker B:We're looking at the theory right now, though.
Speaker B:Here's another theory for you.
Speaker B:Let's talk about this.
Speaker B:Everyone's praying to God, right?
Speaker B:When we die, we go to Heaven.
Speaker B:If we die and we're bad, we go to Hell, right?
Speaker B:But what if, technically, we're already living in Hell because Hell is supposed to be below Heaven?
Speaker B:So if we're here, below heaven, if Heaven's in the skies, we're already living in Hell.
Speaker B:So when we actually die, we go to Heaven, no matter what.
Speaker B:No one ever goes to Hell because we're living in Hell.
Speaker B:And then when we die, we go to Heaven.
Speaker C:I love your comment, Mindy.
Speaker C:Thank you for that.
Speaker C:How do I put this to you?
Speaker C:You're dumb.
Speaker B:Why am I dumb?
Speaker C:Because I don't follow any set religion.
Speaker C:But I'm going to tell you now, you're wrong.
Speaker B:How so it goes.
Speaker C:It goes Heaven, Earth, Hell, purgatory, underneath Hell.
Speaker B:Okay, but wait, if it goes heaven, earth, Hell, Purgatory is what you're saying, right?
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Okay, but how can that be?
Speaker B:When.
Speaker B:When God was.
Speaker B:If you go by scripture, if God.
Speaker B:If God created.
Speaker B:Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker B:I ain't done yet.
Speaker B:Sit back.
Speaker B:If God created Earth, right?
Speaker B:If you go by Scripture and you don't go by science, right?
Speaker B:So that would mean God created Earth, huh?
Speaker B:And then God cast Lucifer below the heavens.
Speaker B:Earth is below the heavens.
Speaker B:So how do we not know Lucifer is roaming here on Earth somewhere In the parallel you universe that we live off of and we're living in hell, and when we die, we go to heaven.
Speaker B:Or if we don't go to heaven, we stay on this earth and we haunt.
Speaker B:Like you.
Speaker C:I mean, that could be true, but then you gotta raise a question.
Speaker C:You gotta raise a question.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:Whose scripture are you following?
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Listen, I was.
Speaker B:What's this thing called?
Speaker B:Baptized Catholic.
Speaker B:Like, I gotta.
Speaker B:I gotta admit, I don't follow religion.
Speaker B:I do.
Speaker B:I don't either.
Speaker B:Do I believe that there's something out there?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I believe in ghost 100%.
Speaker B:Do I believe?
Speaker C:We've seen it firsthand?
Speaker C:What do you mean?
Speaker B:But, but there's so many questionable things.
Speaker B:Like when we die though, right?
Speaker B:We, we, we.
Speaker B:There's like, if we die, do, do we even go to heaven?
Speaker B:Do we go to hell?
Speaker B:Or do we get reincarnated to something else to relive a new life?
Speaker B:So are we reincarnated?
Speaker B:Yeah, that is Hindu.
Speaker B:Okay, so.
Speaker B:Or are we living in the Matrix?
Speaker B:So when we die, that just means we got unplugged from a machine and we wake up somewhere else?
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:Okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker C:If we're living in the Matrix, that's touching upon the tape, brothers.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:But it's possible.
Speaker C:Well, think about it.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:For living in the Matrix.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:Okay, then I believe.
Speaker C:You believe.
Speaker C:But I still believe you're wrong.
Speaker C:I drove the bus to take him off Zuba.
Speaker C:Anyway, listen, you just got to think about it this way.
Speaker C:Okay?
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:Is there a higher power?
Speaker C:Sure.
Speaker C:Someone did something somewhere to make all of this happen.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker C:So if you think about it that way, everything is a predetermined point in time.
Speaker C:It's supposed to happen that way.
Speaker C:That way, even with the thought of free will.
Speaker C:There is no free will.
Speaker C:Everything's been premeditated, pre thought out, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker C:It's just a simulation going out.
Speaker C:So if you think about it that way, we are living in the Matrix.
Speaker C:There is a simulation.
Speaker C:We are that simulation.
Speaker B:And when we die, we get unplugged, we wake up in another realm where we've been plugged into a machine.
Speaker B:Yeah, because that's assimilation.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker B:Unless we're a goddamn video game.
Speaker B:And that just means they fried our video game.
Speaker C:When we die, the simulation starts over.
Speaker C:Hence, AKA reincarnation.
Speaker C:Which is why sometimes you get the thing of deja vu.
Speaker B:Are you sure, though?
Speaker B:Because if you get a deja vu in your current life, you're like, holy, I did this.
Speaker C:Mindy, I'm so in love with you.
Speaker C:When I die I'm going Wow.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Mindy.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Put this in the books.
Speaker B:John just said he is so in love with Mindy.
Speaker B:Holy damn.
Speaker B:We gotta love.
Speaker C:That doesn't mean that I don't love my wife.
Speaker C:Don't take this out of context.
Speaker C:I love my wife more than anything.
Speaker C:But I love that Mindy said when I die, I'm going to purgatory.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So that.
Speaker B:That was interesting news.
Speaker B:Conspiracy theory thing right there.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:That sparked a good conversation.
Speaker B:Let's see where this next one goes.
Speaker B:You ready?
Speaker B:John Nazuba?
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:Listen up, you Prozac popping morons.
Speaker B:Big pharmas lacing your antidepressants with microchips.
Speaker B:Project Minet starting in the 90s to beam your pathetic thoughts straight to the CIA.
Speaker B:Every pill you swallow, they're downloading your brain.
Speaker B:Selling your secrets to the highest bidder.
Speaker B:While you're whining about your feelings.
Speaker B:They've got your whole life on a hard drive and you're too doped up to care.
Speaker B:Cast.
Speaker B:You ever feel like your therapist knows too much?
Speaker B:Think they're in on the mind stealing scam?
Speaker B:Or are you just another drone in their data farm?
Speaker B:Hold on, you flat brained idiots.
Speaker B:Antarctica is also not in a continent.
Speaker B:It's the flat Earth ice wall.
Speaker B:A giant barrier hiding the edge of the world.
Speaker B:Guarding by NASA's Black Ops penguins who will peck your eyeballs out if you get too close.
Speaker B:They've been brainwashing you.
Speaker B:The globe lies since grade school.
Speaker B:But the truth is out there, beyond the ice, there's a whole new world they don't want you to see.
Speaker B:John.
Speaker B:You buying this flat Earth shit?
Speaker B:Or are you too busy crying over your pickless to question the shape of the damn planet?
Speaker B:You unwashed fucking moron.
Speaker B:Go ahead, get it out.
Speaker B:Go ahead.
Speaker C:Breathe it out.
Speaker C:There's scientific proof that the Earth is round.
Speaker C:You ignorant.
Speaker B:I'm just saying maybe the Earth's flat, right?
Speaker B:This flat earth is out there.
Speaker B:Can we argue?
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But what?
Speaker B:If we go.
Speaker B:Why don't they let us on the other side of Antarctica?
Speaker C:It's some conspiracy theory from the government, bro.
Speaker C:There's something going on there.
Speaker C:We all know it.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Maybe that's the edge of the earth.
Speaker C:Hold on.
Speaker C:Wait a minute.
Speaker C:Marte said wait.
Speaker C:There's totally free will.
Speaker C:Free will.
Speaker C:I freely decided to sit here lead and watch and listen to you both helping me get.
Speaker B:That's what we're here for.
Speaker B:That's what we're best at doing is making y'all feel stupid.
Speaker C:You know what?
Speaker C:We do this for free.
Speaker B:We absolutely do.
Speaker B:I mean, unless y'all want to hit that dono button over there in the link in the bio, but that's up to y'all.
Speaker C:Yeah, you do whatever you want, man.
Speaker C:I, I ain't twisting your arm.
Speaker B:No, but listen, some people say the Earth's flat.
Speaker B:Some people think that Antarctica is the end of the world.
Speaker B:Nope, you can walk out there and walk off.
Speaker B:Also, there's, there's rumors that Antarctica could be the portal if we're living in a simulation.
Speaker B:When you get to Antarctica and go further enough, you go through the portal and you go to the other side.
Speaker B:Why else does the government block you from going so far into Antarctica?
Speaker B:Because they got, they got what?
Speaker B:Go, go ahead.
Speaker B:Go ahead.
Speaker B:You cannot explain this because you have got no proof.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker C:There is no explanation that will make sense to anyone absolutely.
Speaker C:What you think, what you want to say.
Speaker C:No matter what proof you have, there is no explanation explanation that will make sense on the whole why we can't go to Antarctica to a certain degree.
Speaker C:You know what I mean?
Speaker C:Like I told you a couple weeks ago, dude, with the Antarctica, and you're looking on Google Maps and you go to that, make a circle in it, and then you go to the center of the circle.
Speaker C:No matter where you put that circle and you go to the center of it, it leads you into a real estate office.
Speaker B:Neither portal unlocked.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker C:I, I, I think you meant to put nether portal for Minecraft.
Speaker B:Oh, maybe it could be another portal.
Speaker B:I'm just saying.
Speaker C:No, I got what you're coming from.
Speaker B:Listen, we gotta, we gotta have some fun with these guys.
Speaker B:I was looking up some good conspiracy theories.
Speaker B:I figured, you know, your sister made a comment about Antarctica.
Speaker B:I'm like, well, let's roll with it.
Speaker C:Oh yeah.
Speaker B:No, dude, my sister, she's, Instead of roasting her like I really wanted to to have some fun roasting her.
Speaker B:I, I did it.
Speaker B:And respect of John, didn't they just.
Speaker C:Find a whole new ecosystem under the iceberg the size of Wisconsin broke off?
Speaker B:They did.
Speaker B:They did.
Speaker B:And they've been finding various type of diseases and stuff like that out of Anarcha.
Speaker B:They, the zombie virus, the new zombie virus was founded out there.
Speaker B:And just think about that.
Speaker B:All these new viruses, they're finding out they're going back to a lab near you, or maybe it's going to a lab in Wuhan where they'll run these little experiments and make it bigger and better.
Speaker B:And all of a sudden we got a new pandemic here in America.
Speaker B:Could we see a new pandemic in the next three years?
Speaker B:Well, underneath the administration.
Speaker B:Because the Democrats are trying to make him look extremely bad, I think.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker C:I'm.
Speaker C:I'm not doubting it, dude.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:Nothing.
Speaker C:Listen, nothing surprises me anymore after co.
Speaker B:Nothing should surprise anybody.
Speaker C:That whole toilet paper crisis, right.
Speaker B:And actually, people, let me make something up real quick.
Speaker B:Real.
Speaker B:Let me not make something, but let me ex.
Speaker B:Let me explain something before we go in the show.
Speaker B:I will probably throughout this show, throughout every episode, I may express a little bit about my political beliefs, but I wanted to let it be known.
Speaker B:I really don't care where any of y'all are in politically.
Speaker B:You can be anywhere on the spectrum of any political side because I'm a firm believer that we can all still get along.
Speaker B:We can agree and disagree on things, but at the end we are all human and we should be able to take jokes and take jabs with each other and then at the end of the day, go have a beer.
Speaker B:But I don't drink, so we'll.
Speaker B:We'll go have a Tic Tac or something, but that's about it.
Speaker B:Great.
Speaker B:The Walking dead coming soon, right?
Speaker B:Hey, I would love to see the walking dead.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You know I would be down for a walking dead horde.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker C:Same.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Because I will definitely make sure we throw John over out the window so we can watch him get mauled.
Speaker C:I would not get mauled.
Speaker B:Oh, he would absolutely get mauled.
Speaker C:No, I did.
Speaker B:The zombie's gonna run faster than John, so we're good.
Speaker C:Not even, bro.
Speaker B:Oh, absolutely not.
Speaker C:I'm a fast little fat, I promise.
Speaker B:Well, I mean, technically if you fall in your belly, you'd be able to bounce fast.
Speaker B:What's up, Brenda Bell?
Speaker B:All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's go into this last piece of conspiracy theories that we got for y'all.
Speaker B:Then we'll get into some up news here for this last one for you.
Speaker B:TikTok scrolling drones.
Speaker B:The lizard people are running underground sex dungeons.
Speaker B:Elites like Zuckerberg are shape shifting reptiles hosting orgies and dumbs deep underground military bases trafficking Andrew chrome from kids to stay young while you're distracted by dance trends.
Speaker B:They're sucking the life out of the innocent and you're just liking their post.
Speaker B:You complicit fucking clowns.
Speaker B:Wake up before they drag you down there too.
Speaker B:You think Zuck's a lizard freak getting high on kid juice?
Speaker B:Or are we all just one Orgy away from the truth.
Speaker B:What's your gut saying, you clueless schmuck?
Speaker B:John, I got nothing.
Speaker B:You got nothing.
Speaker C:I mean, Diddy might be a lizard person.
Speaker C:Think of all those Diddy parties, bro.
Speaker C:It's a lot of oil.
Speaker B:Did he.
Speaker B:Yeah, did he.
Speaker B:Did he on that Epstein?
Speaker B:You think Diddy's been Epstein?
Speaker C:Probably.
Speaker B:I think so.
Speaker B:Who else do you think's been on Epstein?
Speaker C:No one.
Speaker C:It's all conspiracy.
Speaker C:No, I'm just kidding, dude.
Speaker C:Hillary Clinton.
Speaker C:Bill Clinton.
Speaker C:Totally been there.
Speaker B:You just said a Clinton.
Speaker B:I'm out of here.
Speaker B:This podcast is yours now.
Speaker B:I ain't getting killed.
Speaker C:What a bro.
Speaker C:Look at him run away like a little girl.
Speaker C:Look him.
Speaker C:Look at him.
Speaker C:He's running away.
Speaker B:Oh, man, the abs.
Speaker B:You know, I'm still waiting for that to be released.
Speaker B:They have not released anything out of the Epstein files that we have already seen.
Speaker B:So I'm still waiting for this.
Speaker B:So I really want to know what names are on that that they are protecting, because that's the only reason why they haven't released it, bro.
Speaker C:I'm telling you, both Clintons.
Speaker B:I think.
Speaker B:I think there's a lot of high celebrities, if not like at least 80% of celebrities have been to Epstein 100.
Speaker C:Dude, you're not even wrong.
Speaker B:And that is why they haven't released it.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:I mean, those are my thoughts and my opinions, folks.
Speaker B:You may have yours, but yeah, these.
Speaker C:Are just our thoughts and opinions.
Speaker C:Don't take anything we say for fact, please.
Speaker B:Except for what I'm about ready to come up with for some news for y'all.
Speaker B:Those are gonna be facts.
Speaker B:Yeah, you ready, John?
Speaker B:Cuz I'm gonna yell.
Speaker C:Please don't yell.
Speaker B:Oh, I'm gonna yell.
Speaker C:I had a long day.
Speaker C:Don't do this.
Speaker B:Good.
Speaker B:So wake up, you brain dead sheeple.
Speaker B:,:Speaker B:10 Stories so Wild they'll make you want to burn it all down.
Speaker B:First, a Chinese woman went viral for living in a six square foot toilet at a workplace paying $7 a month to sleep next to a shitter because rent's too damn high.
Speaker B:She's got a mattress in there.
Speaker B:Probably dreaming of flush valves while you idiots are overpaying for your studio apartments.
Speaker B:Meanwhile, in the uk, a huge wildfire turned the skyline orange, spreading panic until they admitted it was an April Fool's prank by the fire service.
Speaker B:You gullible clowns fell for it, didn't You, John, have you ever slept at a toilet or cried over a fake fire?
Speaker B:You pick a weeping.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Would you sleep next to a toilet if you had to?
Speaker C:No.
Speaker B:Would you hide at your work and sleep in the bathroom?
Speaker C:No.
Speaker B:Why not?
Speaker C:Because one is disgusting.
Speaker C:Two, I don't want to hear someone next to me.
Speaker C:And three.
Speaker B:Wait, John, just.
Speaker B:Just envision this, okay?
Speaker B:I want you to envision this, okay?
Speaker B:I want you to think you're at your work, your wife kicked you out, you got no place to go.
Speaker B:Everybody's saying, john, you can't sleep here.
Speaker B:The only place you can sleep is your work.
Speaker B:So you cuddle up next to the white porcelain goddess.
Speaker B:You got your little blankie there.
Speaker B:You got a little couch pillow that you grabbed off a couch from work.
Speaker B:You lay down next to the toilet.
Speaker B:You start sucking your thumb because you're a little scared.
Speaker B:There's a lot of noises going on.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:And then while you're.
Speaker B:While you're sleeping there, while you're sleeping, you don't even know it's daytime yet because you've had a rough night.
Speaker B:And you wake up hearing.
Speaker B:And then you're like.
Speaker B:You start creeping up going, I what the was that?
Speaker B:And all of a sudden, it finishes off with, don't you want that for yourself, John?
Speaker B:Don't you want that for yourself?
Speaker B:I know you want that glory of hearing someone bomb in the.
Speaker B:As soon as you wake up, just hoping.
Speaker B:Just hoping that shitty ass spray doesn't splat in your face as you're laying there.
Speaker B:No, dude, no.
Speaker B:Bring back the coffee.
Speaker B:What coffee?
Speaker C:He's talking about when you were doing Grumpy Dad.
Speaker B:Dude, Grumpy dad coffee.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:I know y'all like that coffee, didn't you?
Speaker B:I can't bring it back.
Speaker B:It costs a lot of money.
Speaker B:So I could tell you guys a little bit about that.
Speaker B:The battleships.
Speaker B:Listen, y'all, we had Grumpy dad coffee.
Speaker B:I still got all the imaging.
Speaker B:What is a lot is wrong with me, Mindy.
Speaker B:But listen, as far as the coffee company goes, y'all, did you hide a mic?
Speaker B:I did, Marty.
Speaker B:We did.
Speaker B:We absolutely did.
Speaker B:I wanted to proceed more with the coffee company, but in order for me to make the coffee better, labeling and all that stuff, I was gonna need roughly about 7k to get it going.
Speaker B:And there was no way of really racking up 7k to get the coffee company going.
Speaker B:So unfortunately, that's why the coffee company went to a standstill.
Speaker B:I know a lot of people liked it.
Speaker B:I was down for it.
Speaker B:We had great branding.
Speaker B:My kid still wears a Grumpy dad coffee T shirt around the house.
Speaker C:Dude, I still got one.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:Matter of fact, I just donated.
Speaker B:Well, I didn't donate.
Speaker B:I gave away a ton of my old T shirts because I had a ton of them from my subscription and I think I threw like three or four of them in there.
Speaker B:So I'm sorry.
Speaker B:I'm gonna see some of my Grumpy dad coffees floating around town here soon.
Speaker B:But yeah, yeah, that's the reason why we had to stop doing the coffee.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:Wrath.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, boo.
Speaker B:But news.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You guys thought that news was dumb.
Speaker B:It does get dumber.
Speaker B:You know it does.
Speaker B:So listen, you fluoride drinking drones, 711 dropped a mystery donut for April Fools.
Speaker B:A Bismarck style abomination with a secret flavor they won't reveal, leaving you sugar addicted simps guessing while you shove it down your throats.
Speaker B:Razer joined the prank parade with a Skibidi toilet headset.
Speaker B:An AI powered brain rot translator for Gen Z gamers.
Speaker B:Because apparently you need a device to decode their dumbass slang.
Speaker B:The Arab Boots hired Reno911's Lieutenant Jim Dangle as their spokesmodel.
Speaker B:He demanded Chappelle Roan tickets and sandwiches.
Speaker B:Prancing around in boots like a deranged cowboy while you're all buying overpriced kicks.
Speaker B:Guess what?
Speaker B:You're failing for these corporate pranks or you're too busy eating mystery donuts?
Speaker B:What's the dumbest thing you've bought into?
Speaker B:You've John.
Speaker A:Marty.
Speaker C:Marte.
Speaker B:Marty, we've already got the candle stuff downstairs.
Speaker B:We started that too when I stopped doing it.
Speaker B:I've started almost every business known to man.
Speaker C:It's true.
Speaker C:He has.
Speaker C:He's got a problem.
Speaker B:The only one that's really stuck is the cleaning company.
Speaker B:And that's the one that's killing me.
Speaker B:Yeah, the cleaning company's legit killing me.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:The cleaning company's absolutely killing me.
Speaker B:It's killing me so bad that my restaurant clients are not doing so good.
Speaker B:It's not because of us.
Speaker B:We just lost two clients in a course of a week because their business is slow and it sucks.
Speaker B:But it is what it is.
Speaker B:I figure out ways to keep on pushing through, promote the cleaning business more just so I can clean more.
Speaker B:But that's.
Speaker B:I do.
Speaker B:I've actually got some pretty decent sized clients coming lined up soon, so I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker B:Gotta make my.
Speaker B:My one and only employee Scotty work more like a dog.
Speaker C:You Gotta treat that man like gold, brother.
Speaker B:I do, I do.
Speaker B:I told him when you come back down to Biddeford, you're gonna get on your knees for him and make sure you.
Speaker B:You suck them dry.
Speaker C:No, that's my motherfucking daddy.
Speaker B:I blame the fake terrorists.
Speaker B:Yeah, well what's speaking about the terrorists, Marty?
Speaker B:Listen here, Marty.
Speaker B:Hold on, you fucking TikTok scrolling zombies.
Speaker B:The Dow has dropped:Speaker B:Stocks are tanking and y'all are still buying fucking NFTs like World Ain't Burning.
Speaker B:In Gaza, Israeli strikes killed 32 people, including women and kids, while Netanyahu met with fucking Trump and I so said his fucking name wrong.
Speaker B:Meanwhile, severe storms pounded the south and Midwest.
Speaker B:Flash floods and tornadoes tearing through Mississippi to Kentucky because Mother Nature's pissed at your fucking stupidity.
Speaker B:A young couple in Florida got arrested for trying to trade their pet alligator for a case of beer.
Speaker B:Guess they thought Bud Light was worth more than a gator bite.
Speaker B:And finally a guy in Texas was caught trying to smuggle a live tarantula in his fucking shoe at the airport.
Speaker B:Said it was his emotional support Spider.
Speaker B:Because nothing screams comfort like a hairy eight legged freak on a plane.
Speaker B:John, you trading pets for beer or smuggling spiders?
Speaker B:What's the dumbest thing you've done lately, John, you trampoline managing.
Speaker B:Fucking dipshit.
Speaker C:Managing a trampoline park.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:That's the stupidest thing you've done.
Speaker B:You like not a one chip challenge.
Speaker C:That was not lately.
Speaker C:That was like years ago, dude.
Speaker B:John, I'm gonna ship you a one chip challenge.
Speaker C:You yourself.
Speaker C:Not happening.
Speaker B:How much?
Speaker B:How much would it take, John, for you to do the one chip again?
Speaker B:Smooth K.
Speaker B:A smooth K, huh?
Speaker B:But not leave your chair after you eat it.
Speaker B:See, this time you can't leave within 30 seconds after eating it.
Speaker B:You gotta sit for a full.
Speaker C:Do I have to eat the whole fucking chip like I did last time or you do?
Speaker B:No, no, you gotta deep throat that chip.
Speaker B:You gotta throw that whole chip in your mouth and then just sit there for ten whole fucking minutes.
Speaker B:You can have a puke bucket with you because we're gonna want to watch you puke if you're gonna puke.
Speaker B:So you can have your puke bucket there, but you cannot get off camera.
Speaker C:Can I just do a Nititro bear instead?
Speaker B:Two nitro bears.
Speaker C:Two nitro bears.
Speaker B:Two Nitro bears.
Speaker C:Do I have to chew them?
Speaker B:Oh, you absolutely have to chew them.
Speaker C:I'll do the nitro Bears.
Speaker B:He'll do the nitro bears.
Speaker C:But.
Speaker C:But this is the stipulation.
Speaker C:It has to be okay with my wife.
Speaker B:No, no.
Speaker B:The wife.
Speaker C:No, no.
Speaker B:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker C:No, no.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:The most important, most important person in.
Speaker B:My life that she can be.
Speaker B:The most important part of your life.
Speaker C:The one that's gonna have to deal with the aftermath.
Speaker B:There is no after.
Speaker C:Not you.
Speaker C:Not you.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:The only aftermath there's going to be is your ass will be on fire and you'll be in lover for a week.
Speaker B:That's the only aftermath.
Speaker B:So she's not gonna feel your booty hold.
Speaker C:I can't do spice anymore.
Speaker C:Ever since I did that last one chip challenge, like, I barely handle buffalo sauce nowadays.
Speaker B:I know you're weak.
Speaker B:We gotta get you built back up again.
Speaker B:It's time for you to buy some Tabasco sauce and start eating it with your eggs.
Speaker B:John, put yourself back in basic training and put salt, pepper, Tabasco on your eggs, your home fries.
Speaker B:You've put a little bit of dab in your milk, too, to flavor that milk.
Speaker C:And then you do the Satan's toe for 10 minutes.
Speaker C:So, like, wait, wait, eat the two nitro gummies, then do the same.
Speaker B:So, yeah, back to back.
Speaker B:That's even better.
Speaker B:I like how Mindy's going.
Speaker B:Minnie's going ruthless.
Speaker C:What kind of monster are you, bro?
Speaker B:Oh, she's a monster.
Speaker C:Fine.
Speaker C:I'll tell you what.
Speaker C:I'll do it if Zuba does it.
Speaker B:Oh, you want Zuba to do the.
Speaker B:The toe?
Speaker C:If I gotta suffer, so does he.
Speaker C:That don't affect you, Mark?
Speaker B:No, it don't affect me at all.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, this.
Speaker C:This.
Speaker C:Open the phone.
Speaker B:I am opening up the phone lines here.
Speaker B:Soon, John.
Speaker C:No, right now.
Speaker C:No, right now, dude.
Speaker C:I want to hear Zuba's opinion on.
Speaker C:This is him typing.
Speaker C:He's too slow.
Speaker B:You want Zumba to come in here?
Speaker C:I want Zuba to come in here.
Speaker B:All right, ladies and gentlemen, John is asking for the phone lines to be open.
Speaker B:I'm not sure if he'll be the first caller, though.
Speaker C:I mean, dealer's choice, dude.
Speaker B:Dealer's choice.
Speaker B:We'll find out who answers.
Speaker B:Okay, hold on.
Speaker B:Let me open up the phone lines.
Speaker B:Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be popping up the phone line number here.
Speaker B:That phone number right there.
Speaker B:Y'all can call into the show and talk to us.
Speaker B:John is saying he wants the phone lines open now, so we're going to open them up.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:Please note that this is a mutually shared phone line with the Mark G Show.
Speaker B:My other podcast people, please share this.
Speaker C:Out to all your friends, family, enemies, ex lovers, co workers, neighbors, etc.
Speaker B:But John, as we're waiting, our phone, our phone call.
Speaker B:This does get stupider.
Speaker B:You know, on X, people have found the worst criminals of the week.
Speaker C:Okay, I'm listening.
Speaker B:All right, a guy used his mom's credit card to pay for his date, swiping her cash to impress some Tinder trash.
Speaker B:He probably bought her a five dollar wine cooler and called it romance.
Speaker B:And then a passenger tried to open a plane door midair.
Speaker B:Because nothing says I'm done with this flight like turning a 747 into a skydiving nightmare.
Speaker B:And not to mention a man had a widowmaker heart attack.
Speaker B:Survived it, but I bet he's still eating Big Macs because every idiot out there never learns.
Speaker C:That sounds like you.
Speaker B:Oh, I absolutely would.
Speaker B:John, we got a phone call coming in.
Speaker B:Let's see if we're gonna get this answered.
Speaker D:This is a call for.
Speaker B:Hello and welcome to the Mark G Show.
Speaker B:I'm your AI assistant here to connect you.
Speaker B:Oh, excitement unfolding on our live broadcast.
Speaker B:They're coming.
Speaker B:Thank you for calling.
Speaker B:We're thrilled to have you with us.
Speaker B:Our host, Mark G.
Speaker B:They're not tied in.
Speaker B:Get ready to died.
Speaker C:Oh, he up guys.
Speaker B:We did, we did.
Speaker B:Hold on, caller, hold on one second, I'll pat you into the show.
Speaker B:We forgot to set up the Bluetooth in here, so we gotta, we gotta sign, we gotta get you connected to the Bluetooth here.
Speaker B:All right, caller, give me one second, I'll pat you in.
Speaker B:Caller, can you hear me?
Speaker B:Oh, they hung up.
Speaker B:Oh, John, it sounds like you might have some vomiting going on over there.
Speaker C:Yeah, my kids peeping in the toilet again.
Speaker B:All right, well the whoever just called in.
Speaker B:If you could do us a favor and call back into the show, we'll see if we can get it to work now because I don't even see who called.
Speaker B:All right, this is a call for.
Speaker B:Hello?
Speaker B:All right, caller, we are unable to hear you, but I'm going to patch you through in two seconds here.
Speaker B:What is going on with our phone lines?
Speaker C:You it up?
Speaker B:Dude, I didn't up.
Speaker B:You know what's funny is I left everything open.
Speaker B:So I'm like, oh, you know what, the phone lines are going to up tonight.
Speaker B:And it's funny because we patched them into the Bluetooth.
Speaker B:Let me just make sure they are connected to the Bluetooth.
Speaker B:Give me one second.
Speaker B:Here.
Speaker B:Bluetooth paired.
Speaker B:Yep, it's paired to the iPad.
Speaker B:So we're.
Speaker B:We're connected there, so.
Speaker B:And I've got Bluetooth, Bluetooth audios turned up.
Speaker B:I'm not sure what's going on here.
Speaker B:Let me just double check.
Speaker C:No, hold on one second.
Speaker C:My kid needs me.
Speaker B:All right, go see the kid, y'all.
Speaker B:Give it one second here.
Speaker B:We're gonna, I'm gonna test out.
Speaker B:We are having phone line issues, y'all.
Speaker B:We may not be able to open up the phone lines unless I do a split audio again.
Speaker B:Let me.
Speaker B:The collar did hang up.
Speaker B:All right, good.
Speaker B:Let me see here.
Speaker B:We're gonna, we're gonna test that audio real quick.
Speaker B:Y'all hold on one second.
Speaker B:Really?
Speaker B:They're trying to make me sign into Tik Tok.
Speaker B:I just want to see if we got audio feed coming through here, so give me one second.
Speaker B:Oh, we got Tick tock sending me a text message because I'm trying to log in through the iPad.
Speaker B:Hold on one second, y'all.
Speaker B:We're.
Speaker B:I'm going to try.
Speaker B:We're going to try YouTube real quick.
Speaker B:I'm just going to play a quick YouTube clip here to see if we got audio.
Speaker B:I'm gonna try.
Speaker B:We're gonna try YouTube real quick.
Speaker B:I'm just gonna play a quick YouTube clip here to see if we got audio.
Speaker B:All right, so that's working there.
Speaker B:All right, I'm gonna try calling back the last person.
Speaker B:Just try calling us.
Speaker C:Yeah, do it.
Speaker B:Because I just got it to work there.
Speaker B:I think it was this number here.
Speaker B:They try calling at:Speaker B:Let's see if it rings in.
Speaker C:I can hear it ringing.
Speaker B:You can.
Speaker B:We're gonna call him again.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I think.
Speaker B:No, some.
Speaker B:Me try calling it as we're doing it.
Speaker B:All right, caller, we got you on the show now.
Speaker B:We can hear you.
Speaker D:Jesus Christ.
Speaker D:Mark, get your together can.
Speaker B:Are you hearing an echo or are you good?
Speaker B:Oh, you see what it is?
Speaker B:You're calling into the damn show while your family is sitting on a couch eating their goddamn nachos, drinking their 20 ounce, 80 ounce sodas, sitting there going, oh, the black detail.
Speaker B:You call it in.
Speaker B:Well, turn down your TV if you're gonna talk to us when you call into the show.
Speaker B:Jesus Christ, don't you know how to call into a damn show by now?
Speaker B:Weren't you born in the 80s?
Speaker B:Hi, Zuba.
Speaker B:Welcome in, sir.
Speaker D:Three times.
Speaker B:I know, it's horrible.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We up our phone lines.
Speaker C:So anyway, Zubi, you down and do a spicy challenge with.
Speaker D:What you think, Mama?
Speaker B:See?
Speaker B:Wait, I can still hear us on his TV over there.
Speaker B:All right, Mama, listen.
Speaker B:Your husband wants to take a big ass sausage toe and shove it deep down his throat to see how long he can suck on that goddamn thing before it creams.
Speaker B:Are you okay with that?
Speaker B:Okay with that?
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker D:He's on the phone.
Speaker D:I clearly know.
Speaker B:That ain't what your husband told us.
Speaker C:No, listen, listen, listen.
Speaker C:She's the one calling him a bro.
Speaker C:Obviously, he's dumb enough to say something to stupid like that.
Speaker B:So, Zuba, are you willing to suck on a lollipop with John?
Speaker D:I don't give a.
Speaker D:I just don't know how we're gonna.
Speaker D:Came up.
Speaker B:All right, ladies and gentlemen, here's what we need from y'all.
Speaker B:If y'all listening on Apple Spotify, if y'all watching on here, there's a link on the YouTube video.
Speaker B:It's a link tree link.
Speaker B:Y'all are going to click on the thing that says stream Donation.
Speaker B:To buy everybody on this panel a toad that I can order off of Amazon, we will need a total donation of $30.
Speaker B:That will buy a toe with shipping for myself, John, and Zuba, who will bring onto the podcast.
Speaker B:And we'll have one episode by probably by before the end of this month, if we get the donation in time.
Speaker B:And we will do the toe of Satan live on air during a podcast episode, and we'll see which one is a first.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Listen to myself out there.
Speaker B:Holy.
Speaker B:I sound sexy.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:Thank you for the follow, my man.
Speaker B:I appreciate it.
Speaker C:Thank you, thank you.
Speaker D:Since we started the podcast, I turned on the living room TV every Monday.
Speaker B:Well, I appreciate you tuning in every Monday.
Speaker B:Right now.
Speaker B:We got 17 beautiful souls out here right now.
Speaker B:I appreciate everybody tuning in.
Speaker B:We are taking phone calls into the show.
Speaker B:We have Zuba right now, who is possibly going to do a toe of Satan with us.
Speaker C:Too late.
Speaker C:I have your guys's address.
Speaker C:I can just mail it to him.
Speaker B:All right, Zuba, Zuba, do you got anything you want to say to Johnny boy before I hang up on your ass?
Speaker B:So y'all can sit there and watch us on tv.
Speaker B:We could take in other callers.
Speaker D:I kind of figured it was coming.
Speaker B:You figured John was coming?
Speaker B:I, I.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think John has had that happy look on his face now for a few minutes with his hands below his waist.
Speaker D:No, I figured.
Speaker D:I figured if you got him to do something hot again, it was going to be me added to it.
Speaker C:Listen, you'll be all Right, dude, you ain't gonna die.
Speaker C:Or you might, you don't know.
Speaker B:And Tazuba's wife, when he gets that Satan's toe, do us a favor, make sure you hide all the ice cream in the house or make sure it's all gone out of the house before we do the show.
Speaker B:And any milk, do yourself a favor, hide the good milk, but save yourself some fucking, you know, two week old curdling milk in the refrigerator.
Speaker B:So when he goes to drink that, he's getting a nice lumpy expired milk when he downs it.
Speaker B:So we can get a good throw up session on here as well.
Speaker B:That'd be great.
Speaker D:Well, what you don't know, Mark, is it milk?
Speaker D:It makes me lactose anyway and I already my brains out.
Speaker B:Oh, that'd be phenomenal.
Speaker B:We can get you puking and in your pants.
Speaker B:We can start calling you Biden junior.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:Oh well, Zuba, I appreciate you calling in my man.
Speaker D:Of course you already knew I was gonna be the first one.
Speaker B:Yes sir.
Speaker B:You have yourself a good day, my man.
Speaker B:Folks, we have the phone lines working.
Speaker B:I do apologize.
Speaker B:Typically when the show starts we, when we.
Speaker B:John gets on, we literally have five minutes before we have to go on air.
Speaker B:So I don't have no time to test out the phone lines throughout the day because I got to test it out through the software we use called EVMux.
Speaker B:But yeah, I guess we'll wait for another phone call to come in.
Speaker B:In the meantime, let me tell all y'all to hold on to your conspiracy denying clowns out there because I'm not done yet.
Speaker B:The astronauts are stuck in space for nine months, finally speak out.
Speaker B:Probably whining about eating freeze dried slump while you're all over here crying over five dollar lattes.
Speaker B:And a minor league baseball player who worked for Uber just made the New York team, hustling from ride shares to the big leagues while a Shohai Otani card sold at auction for a goddamn fortune.
Speaker B:Because you sports nerds will pay millions for a piece of cardboard.
Speaker B:John, you're stuck in space for nine months.
Speaker B:Are you selling your kidney for a baseball card?
Speaker C:What are you doing stuck in space for nine months?
Speaker C:I think I find it enjoyable.
Speaker B:You find it enjoyable?
Speaker C:Yeah man, I gotta be around people, you know what I mean?
Speaker C:Like, so what if I eat freeze dried food?
Speaker C:Whatever.
Speaker B:All right, John, I'm about ready to talk about our favorite game.
Speaker B:We've been playing for a little bit late lately.
Speaker B:We'll see if we get a phone call here, but hopefully not because I got some news about Schedule one.
Speaker B:All right, ladies and gentlemen, listen up, you screen addicted sheeple.
Speaker B:Our feature game of the week is Schedule One.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:A co op crime simulator that's got you living the drug dealing life in a the grungy west coast hell hole of Highland Point.
Speaker B:You're in a small time dealer with no cash, no product, no connections.
Speaker B:Grow plants, cook drugs, dodge the cops and sell to junkies.
Speaker B:Just like in your own hometown, John, while fighting off cartel psychos to build your empire.
Speaker B:,:Speaker B:Because you degenerates love playing Scarface while your real lives rot.
Speaker B:John, you ever dream of slinging dope in a digital slum?
Speaker B:Or are you too busy crying over your pickles to handle the heat, you trampoline managing fucking moron.
Speaker B:But hold on, John.
Speaker B:Hold on, you dopamine drunk fucking drone.
Speaker B:Listen here.
Speaker B:Schedule 1 success has the vultures circling.
Speaker B:Movie Games SA.
Speaker B:The washed up devs behind Drug Dealer Simulator are suing for copyright infringement, claiming that Tyler ripped off their plot mechanics and UI.
Speaker B:They say it's unfair competition.
Speaker B:Whining that Schedule 1's multiplayer grind is too similar to their janky single player flop.
Speaker B:Like sour grapes from a dev whose sequel tanked.
Speaker B:While Tyler's ranking the Glory.
Speaker B:The investigation kicked off the day Schedule one dropped and fans are pissed.
Speaker B:Drug dealer simulators getting review bombed on Steam.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:What Mark?
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:What do you got going on over there?
Speaker B:Marty just donated $50 for Satan's toe.
Speaker B:Because Marty knows that I just do not have cash app.
Speaker B:So John, I hope you got an Amazon account because you're going to have to ship Satan's toe to all of us.
Speaker C:I do.
Speaker B:All right, so John got the donation, which means John will be going ahead and ordering the Satan's toe for the show.
Speaker B:There's no going back now.
Speaker B:There's no asking your wife.
Speaker B:So you're going to have to tell your wife.
Speaker B:You're going to have to man up and stick a Satan's toe in your mouth.
Speaker C:God damn it, Marty.
Speaker B:Marty.
Speaker B:You're learning who Marty is now.
Speaker B:Marty loves to watch people suffer.
Speaker C:Yeah, I see this.
Speaker B:Marty loves to watch people suffer.
Speaker B:And John, we're about to suffer for him.
Speaker B:He donated the money.
Speaker B:Which means you will be when the.
Speaker B:When the stream ends, you will be Ordering us some Satan's toe on Amazon.
Speaker B:It's going to be a good time, John.
Speaker B:It'll be a good time.
Speaker C:Like, I look down because I saw my phone light up.
Speaker C:I have it on silence for the podcast.
Speaker C:And I saw that and I was like.
Speaker B:So what does the note say on it, though?
Speaker B:Tell us what the note says.
Speaker B:There's always a note on.
Speaker B:On cash out.
Speaker B:What do you put.
Speaker B:What do you put for the note?
Speaker C:Hold on, dude.
Speaker C:He put for two Satan's toes in milk, and then my buddy.
Speaker C:My buddy Rainmaker just sent 20 on Facebook.
Speaker B:Oh, $20 on Facebook.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker C:I don't have Facebook set up, dude.
Speaker B:You don't have Facebook cash?
Speaker B:Did he send it to the stream Facebook or did he send it to your Facebook?
Speaker C:My Facebook.
Speaker C:Oh, it says payment pending.
Speaker C:Except money, but I don't have.
Speaker B:I guess you're gonna.
Speaker B:You're gonna have to set up Facebook now.
Speaker C:He said, figure it out.
Speaker B:Looks like you have to figure this out, John, because, yeah, it looks like $70.
Speaker B:So it's more than just Satan's toe now.
Speaker B:Now we're gonna have to do two spicy challenges.
Speaker C:Must duct tape yourself.
Speaker B:So, John, that means you're gonna have to.
Speaker B:If $80 should cover it, that means we're gonna have to do two episodes of doing hot challenges.
Speaker B:We are gonna have to do Satan's toe and the gummy.
Speaker C:The Nitro bears.
Speaker B:The Nitro bears.
Speaker B:It should.
Speaker B:It shouldn't.
Speaker B:It shouldn't be more than $80.
Speaker B:Satan's toes, like $8 a pop, might be even cheaper.
Speaker B:You might be able to get a deal for two, but you're shipping them, so you want to ship on the individual addresses so you can buy them solo.
Speaker B:I think the.
Speaker B:So Satan's toes, like $6 avid says, I don't envy you, Zuba.
Speaker C:So the Toa Satan challenge is 8.99 a pop.
Speaker B:Okay, so we got 16.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:Okay, boy, you got plenty of money then.
Speaker C:And how much?
Speaker C:The Nitro bear is 14.90.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Hold on one second.
Speaker B:Instead of the Nitro Bear.
Speaker B:Let me see here real quick.
Speaker B:Let me see one thing.
Speaker B:Let me go to Amazon.
Speaker B:I have it.
Speaker B:I have a better idea.
Speaker C:Oh, boy.
Speaker B:Okay, hold on.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:This could be fun.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Let me see.
Speaker B:Let me see if I can find it real quick, though.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Spicy.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Chocolate roulette.
Speaker B:I have.
Speaker B:I have a fine.
Speaker B:Oh, wait a minute.
Speaker B:Do they have it?
Speaker B:World's hottest chocolate.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Flaming.
Speaker B:Flaming.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:There's a chocolate called flaming Anus.
Speaker B:Oh, that's great.
Speaker C:The world's hottest chocolate bar.
Speaker B:No, no, no.
Speaker B:I don't want to do the chocolate bar.
Speaker B:See, there's a thing that I did, my cousin back when we were on Tick Tock.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:And might have to go to a different website to grab it.
Speaker B:Give me one second here.
Speaker B:Let me look.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Vat19.comv a t19.com.
Speaker B:Oh, they discontinued it.
Speaker B:Damn.
Speaker B:Was what it was.
Speaker B:It was called the.
Speaker B:It was called the Hellishly Hot Chocolate Roulette Game.
Speaker B:Basically, there was.
Speaker B:I believe it was eight chocolates.
Speaker B:Yep, four.
Speaker B:No, three out of the eight were extremely spicy.
Speaker B:Like, spicy like the One Chip Challenge.
Speaker B:And you didn't know what you.
Speaker B:They were just scattered throughout there, so you never notice.
Speaker B:You just grab a chocolate and you eat one.
Speaker B:Got sweet.
Speaker B:One guy heat.
Speaker B:That would have been bomb.
Speaker B:If we could have got something like that for all three of us to sit there on stream.
Speaker B:That would have been.
Speaker B:That would have been great.
Speaker C:Make my tummy turn thinking about it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because VAT 19, these guys have so much candy right here.
Speaker B:We can't do.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker B:They banned the one chip challenge.
Speaker B:Marty.
Speaker B:Listen, they did ban the one chip rangers.
Speaker C:Message me goes.
Speaker C:Well, 50 was already sent, 10 to finish and 10 for the future medical bills.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So this website has the flaming anus, 2.2 million Scoville units, long chocolate, a hot chocolate.
Speaker B:They got the Tove Satan.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Let's see here.
Speaker B:What else do they got?
Speaker B:I'm looking right now to see if they got any other.
Speaker B:Oh, they got the Carolina Reaper Pebbles.
Speaker C:Nah, you.
Speaker C:Dude, last time I did those Pebbles, dude, I was drooling in my hand for an hour.
Speaker B:John, they got the Death Nut Challenge.
Speaker C:Nope, not doing it.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker C:I'll pack my up right now when I'm out.
Speaker B:I'll pack my.
Speaker B:They got the Death Nut Challenge.
Speaker B:Come on, John.
Speaker B:Don't you remember the Death Nut Challenge?
Speaker B:That was a beautiful day.
Speaker C:No, it wasn't.
Speaker B:That was beautiful.
Speaker C:Fetal position, 45 minutes.
Speaker C:Not doing it again.
Speaker B:Crying in a bathroom.
Speaker B:Oh, it was great.
Speaker B:Folks.
Speaker B:The phone lines are right there.
Speaker B:Call into the show.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:Talk to us, y'all.
Speaker B:We're just shooting this right now.
Speaker B:We're talking about how John is gonna have to break the news to his wife that she now has no say in him doing the Toe Saint Challenge.
Speaker B:The money has been donated, which means the product now has to be ordered and the show must go on it will be ordered in Amazon, which means, well, I'll probably have it by next week, which means we can sit here and do the Toe of Satan challenge next week, John.
Speaker B:We'll do the toe of Satan first and we'll see where that goes.
Speaker B:Eight million Scoville.
Speaker B:Devil's blood.
Speaker B:Full dip finger.
Speaker B:Oh my.
Speaker B:You know, it's funny, Marty.
Speaker B:I believe if I go downstairs, I believe I have Devil's blood in my cupboard.
Speaker B:I believe I actually I've got the world, one of the world's hottest hot sauces downstairs made with pepper X right now enclosed.
Speaker B:Still, still sealed.
Speaker B:Zuba says he's going to say it's all my fault.
Speaker B:Oh yeah, Zuba, he's definitely going to blame you.
Speaker B:He's absolutely going to blame you, my man.
Speaker C:No, I'm blaming Mark, bro.
Speaker C:You, bro.
Speaker B:Blame, blaming me.
Speaker B:Blame what you, you know, you call me a bad influence.
Speaker B:I don't know why.
Speaker B:Exhibit A, exhibit A.
Speaker B:You're live on a podcast talking to 12 strangers right now.
Speaker B:How many are going to listen to audio tomorrow?
Speaker B:Or your wife when she listens to the show, going to work and say, what the did my husband do?
Speaker B:Pepper Palace.
Speaker B:The end.
Speaker B:Hot sauce.
Speaker B:Oh, Brad, let's go.
Speaker B:The Pepper Palace.
Speaker B:Yeah, John, talk to the people for a minute.
Speaker B:Let me go show you a lovely bottle hot sauce that I got.
Speaker B:Go ahead, talk to the people for a minute.
Speaker C:So Brad is rainmaker, dude.
Speaker B:Brad is rainmaker.
Speaker B:Nice watch.
Speaker B:Talk to the people for a minute, John.
Speaker C:No, listen guys, you don't understand.
Speaker C:Like, like, like Mark's a.
Speaker C:He made me, he made me hot sauce one time that I, I died and then, and then he made me pickles with Carolina reaper in it.
Speaker C:Pickled the Carolina reaper in with the pickles, dude.
Speaker C:And then told me that I was a if I didn't eat the pickled reaper.
Speaker C:Well, guess what?
Speaker C:I ate the pickled reaper.
Speaker C:I paid the consequences for like 36 hours, dude.
Speaker C:Like, like he's a monster, man.
Speaker C:You guys don't understand.
Speaker C:He's evil.
Speaker C:He's absolutely the biggest, evilest little prick I've ever met in my life.
Speaker B:So, John, I got a new rule too, by the way.
Speaker B:For the toe of Satan, we're gonna have to do the full five minute challenge on it.
Speaker B:The first person to drop out, I'm gonna ship one of these bottles too.
Speaker B:And they're gonna have to eat a hot wing doused with it.
Speaker B:This first bottle is the last dab triple X hot sauce right there.
Speaker B:The second bottle is the last dab Experience.
Speaker B:And this has over 91 pepper X.
Speaker B:Over 91 pepper X in this one.
Speaker B:So the first person to take the sucker out of their damn mouth during this challenge will have to eat a hot wing doused in one of these bottles of hot sauce.
Speaker B:And I will leave it to our chat when we do the show to choose which bottle of hot sauce I ship, because I got two of them right here, sealed, ready to go.
Speaker B:What you say, John?
Speaker C:I'm so gonna die.
Speaker B:John, listen, we'll make sure we have the Bugles playing at your funeral, brother.
Speaker C:Did you see what Britabelle said?
Speaker B:That snow with the one chip to my kid.
Speaker B:You sent the one chip challenge to their kid?
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, you're a brutal son of a.
Speaker C:I made all their kids eat it.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:You know, a kid in New York died from the one chip challenge.
Speaker C:Yeah, but their kiss didn't die, dude, That's.
Speaker B:That's a plus.
Speaker B:But imagine if they did.
Speaker B:You would have went to jail for murdering a kid from a chip.
Speaker C:Hey, man, consequences.
Speaker B:You imagine going to jail.
Speaker B:What you in here for?
Speaker B:Killing a kid.
Speaker B:How'd you kill the kid?
Speaker B:I gave him a chip.
Speaker B:That's some up.
Speaker B:That would be one bit I would not want to serve time for.
Speaker B:You would so be getting in the ass with that one.
Speaker B:That's horrible, bro.
Speaker C:It gets worse.
Speaker B:It gets worse.
Speaker B:Reach.
Speaker B:It didn't phase the kids?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker C:Read.
Speaker B:Read above that with Satan's blood.
Speaker B:Hot.
Speaker B:Oh, Satan's blood.
Speaker B:Hot sauce is good.
Speaker B:Hot sauce, y'all.
Speaker B:That's some good hot sauce.
Speaker C:I made them put it all over the chip, and they need it.
Speaker B:Damn, John.
Speaker C:I learned from the master, though, so you're welcome.
Speaker B:That's all right, John.
Speaker B:You're about to learn from the master.
Speaker B:Coming up in about a week.
Speaker B:You have to just stay.
Speaker B:All you gotta do is take the lollipop.
Speaker B:You'll see.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It looks like a toe.
Speaker B:It's the size of probably two thumbs put together.
Speaker B:You're gonna stick that in your mouth?
Speaker B:I don't think I have them up here anymore, do I?
Speaker B:No, we got rid of them because I already used them.
Speaker B:You're gonna just put it on your tongue, close your mouth, and hold it there for 10 minutes.
Speaker B:Sorry.
Speaker B:Five.
Speaker B:The first person.
Speaker B:Huh?
Speaker C:What is it, five or 10?
Speaker B:It's five minute challenge.
Speaker B:The first person to take the sucker out of their mouth will be on the next episode because I'll make sure I ship the out the next day.
Speaker B:We'll have to douse a wing with this hot sauce or this hot sauce, the chat will choose Zuba.
Speaker C:Take one for the team dog.
Speaker B:So this hot sauce.
Speaker B:Okay, this one won't be bad.
Speaker B:This is the last dab.
Speaker B:Triple X.
Speaker B:I believe this one here is made.
Speaker B:Hold on, I got.
Speaker B:I got.
Speaker B:I gotta do something here.
Speaker B:I'm gonna look like John Does.
Speaker B:Hold on one second, y'all.
Speaker B:I gotta.
Speaker B:I gotta.
Speaker B:I'll tell you what, this one has in it for ingredients.
Speaker C:Look at this nerd.
Speaker B:Oh, shut up.
Speaker B:You know, you wear glasses, too.
Speaker B:All right, let's see here.
Speaker B:Damn.
Speaker B:This one, the ingredients are still small.
Speaker B:Okay, so this one has pepper X, chocolate, pepper X peach pepper X, distilled vinegar, ginger root, turmeric, and that's it.
Speaker B:And then this one.
Speaker B:Oh, look, we're matching twinsies.
Speaker B:All right, this one here says it's 98 Pepper X.
Speaker B:This ingredient is pepper X, pepper distilled vinegar, pepper X pepper powder, pepper x pepper distillate.
Speaker B:Dear God.
Speaker B:So this one's even more brutal.
Speaker B:This one's going to make your insides rot.
Speaker B:Oh, standby.
Speaker B:We got a phone call from Marty.
Speaker B:This is a call for.
Speaker B:Hello to the Mark G Show.
Speaker B:I'm your AI assistant here to connect you to Marty.
Speaker B:You're on the show, my man.
Speaker B:What's happening?
Speaker D:Make bad decisions.
Speaker B:Well, you know, we.
Speaker B:We were talking about bad decisions, and you helped push the bad decision over, and now you sealed the deal.
Speaker C:Hey, thanks for.
Speaker D:You're welcome.
Speaker D:It's what I do.
Speaker B:It's gonna be a beautiful thing.
Speaker B:You see, everybody knows I've done the toe Satan at least 100 to 200 times on tick Tock.
Speaker D:Yeah, you only lasted, what, a minute?
Speaker B:Oh, no, I've done five with Jarl.
Speaker B:When Jarl sent me a.
Speaker B:You need to do one.
Speaker B:It was on my birthday.
Speaker D:When you're on Howie, you only lasted like, a minute.
Speaker B:Well, I was on Howie Mandel with that one.
Speaker B:I was about ready to do a full five minutes.
Speaker B:So Howie Mandel and what's his name could sit there and roast my ass with a sucker in my mouth for five minutes?
Speaker B:No, they roasted my ass pretty good on that.
Speaker B:That podcast.
Speaker B:That was fun, though.
Speaker B:Yeah, I told you about that, right, John?
Speaker B:Yeah, that was a fun podcast.
Speaker B:They roasted my ass hard.
Speaker B:I was catching balls in my mouth and everything.
Speaker C:So I think I'm gonna be sick next week.
Speaker B:Oh, that's okay.
Speaker B:You'll still be live on air.
Speaker B:Because you know what?
Speaker B:I've been told that the toe of Satan cures sickness.
Speaker B:It's a miracle.
Speaker B:Sucker.
Speaker B:John.
Speaker C:It's a miracle sucker.
Speaker D:It's a corner colon pleaser.
Speaker D:You'll be be fine.
Speaker B:Oh, it's absolutely a colon cleanser.
Speaker B:John is already regretting life your ass the next day.
Speaker B:You know what's going to happen is in just a near two weeks, John's wife is going to ban him from doing a podcast with me.
Speaker B:He's going to send me a phone call, say he's going to give me a call, say, mark, you're going to have to find a new co host.
Speaker C:It's not even going to be two weeks.
Speaker B:My wife said I can't be on a podcast with you no more.
Speaker B:I'm grounded.
Speaker B:I can't even come to your house to play.
Speaker B:My wife says you're a bad, bad influence on me.
Speaker D:You're making me do bad, bad.
Speaker D:Life changes.
Speaker B:Listen, since John.
Speaker B:Since John has met me, I've put.
Speaker B:Made this guy put so much spicy food down his throat, almost broke his neck.
Speaker B:Put more spicy down his throat, almost killed him on stream by, you know, promoting him to the one chip challenge.
Speaker B:Almost made him die in an account with a death nut challenge.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think John and I's relationship.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, John and I's relationship is friends with me trying to kill him every time.
Speaker C:It's just.
Speaker C:It's a mutual homicide.
Speaker B:So, John, I'm gonna stick these.
Speaker B:I'm gonna keep these in the studio too.
Speaker B:All right, dude, I'm gonna keep these.
Speaker B:These in the studio.
Speaker C:Do you boo?
Speaker B:And then we're gonna take some bets.
Speaker B:You know, we'll take some bets.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:The one I did myself is the one chip challenge simply thanks for the follow.
Speaker C:Yes, thank you.
Speaker C:Thank you for the follow.
Speaker B:With the toothpick.
Speaker B:Oh, that was.
Speaker B:Oh, God.
Speaker B:You're talking about the Facebook video dump that I did, right?
Speaker B:Yeah, that one was an abstract.
Speaker B:I think I got that downstairs in my cupboard too.
Speaker B:That one's brutal.
Speaker C:Wait, was it the food additive?
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, I've got it downstairs.
Speaker C:Is that the Dr.
Speaker C:Cycle Bernonium?
Speaker C:Whatever it is.
Speaker B:I don't remember.
Speaker B:It's a small little bottle.
Speaker B:I have it downstairs.
Speaker C:Came in a metal container, right?
Speaker B:No, we.
Speaker B:We took care of that one.
Speaker B:You're talking about that metal glob that was thick like tar?
Speaker B:Yeah, dude, that was brutal, too.
Speaker C:I know.
Speaker B:That was brutal.
Speaker C:I know.
Speaker B:Yeah, I've got.
Speaker B:I've got a.
Speaker B:An extract downstairs that's really extremely hot.
Speaker B:It's in a small bottle like this that I just put my chili and I literally just take a drop of it and just put my chili and it spices up the whole chili.
Speaker B:It's so good and chili.
Speaker D:Maybe you should come up with your own hot sauce.
Speaker B:I did.
Speaker B:I did.
Speaker B:I used to make hot sauce.
Speaker B:I had to stop doing that, too.
Speaker D:Since you're in the cleaning business, you could cut out.
Speaker D:Could have called it colon cleaner.
Speaker B:Touche.
Speaker B:But no, it's all like a Satan's line.
Speaker B:I think we had.
Speaker B:What, Satan's blood.
Speaker B:Satan's ass.
Speaker B:Oh, God.
Speaker B:I can't remember the names of them now.
Speaker C:Satan's ass was brutal.
Speaker B:Satan's ass was so good, though.
Speaker B:But I made so much hot stuff that I made a really good, like, barbecue hot sauce that was to die for.
Speaker C:Went so good on burgers.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I used to grow.
Speaker B:Grow hot peppers.
Speaker B:I would be growing them this summertime, but my flower bed got overtaken by grass and I can't seem to kill off the grass.
Speaker B:So I'm screwed there, right?
Speaker D:Grass.
Speaker B:We get it.
Speaker B:No, not that kind of grass, Marty.
Speaker C:It did grow it, though.
Speaker B:I did grow.
Speaker B:I did.
Speaker B:And I had a good plant, man.
Speaker B:I had a good plant when I tried growing it that was big and I gave it all up for free because I don't smoke it.
Speaker B:But no, I did grow when I had the pot, the planters.
Speaker B:Oh, right there, look.
Speaker B:Those are the bottles of my hot sauces right there.
Speaker B:John showing.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:One's called:Speaker B:Yep, those.
Speaker B:That's back when I made my hot sauces.
Speaker B:I told you, Marty, I've had so many businesses that I've started up and never went anywhere.
Speaker B:It's not even funny.
Speaker D:You got to work on your marketing, your packaging.
Speaker B:Yeah, I know.
Speaker B:Well, the candles.
Speaker B:The candles.
Speaker B:I screwed up on the candles, everybody.
Speaker B:I'm still getting.
Speaker B:People ask me when I'm creating those again.
Speaker B:I'm like, yep, it's not happening because.
Speaker D:I'm still sending you that candle kit I have.
Speaker B:Oh, the.
Speaker B:Oh, the ones that you have each other house there?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:My son keeps pestering me.
Speaker B:The people at his work are like, you going to make more candles?
Speaker B:I'm like, no, nope, not right now.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:But no, it's.
Speaker B:It's good stuff, though.
Speaker B:I've started.
Speaker B:What's it?
Speaker B:Candle coffee.
Speaker B:Grumpy dad Coffee was a good one.
Speaker B:Grumpy dad Coffee sold quite a bit.
Speaker B:So many web hosting, web designing companies.
Speaker D:I like saying you're doing consumables, so that's smart.
Speaker B:Consumables.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, the hot sauce was good.
Speaker B:Though a lot of people buy something that's going to run out, right.
Speaker B:And they're gonna want.
Speaker B:They're gonna want and need more.
Speaker B:What are you looking for over there?
Speaker B:Toilet paper is a phenomenal product, man.
Speaker B:But then again, I'll tell you, I've been trying to convince my wife to get a damn bidet.
Speaker B:I'm telling you, bidets where it's going.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:If we get.
Speaker B:If we get another.
Speaker B:We get another plan Demic.
Speaker B:A bidet is where you're going to want to be.
Speaker B:Because of bidet, you're going to be able to clean your ass and you're not gonna have to worry about toilet paper.
Speaker B:Just s.
Speaker B:Sit down and squirt that water in your booty hole.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:What's this?
Speaker D:Yeah, they got the price on them.
Speaker C:That's that tar, like.
Speaker B:Oh, that's that.
Speaker B:That came in the metal container?
Speaker C:Yeah, dude.
Speaker C:I put it on a sausage, egg and cheese.
Speaker C:Just a little dab of it.
Speaker C:Dude, this guy was sweating bullets for like an hour.
Speaker B:Look at him slather that bad boy right on the sausage.
Speaker C:Yeah, the man died.
Speaker D:We tried.
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker B:The first hot sauce I ever tried.
Speaker B:I actually, for me, it was.
Speaker B:I never really got into hot sauce until basic training, and then it was Tabasco sauce.
Speaker B:Got me hooked.
Speaker B:Because in basic training, if you wanted to season any of your food, it was Tabasco sauce.
Speaker B:You had to put Tabasco sauce in everything and anything.
Speaker B:Like you ate it.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You grabbed a little Tabasco and you put it on anything that was on your plate just to flavor the food.
Speaker B:Because the food was flavorless, man.
Speaker B:The food was.
Speaker B:And basic.
Speaker B:So you flavored it with Tabasco sauce.
Speaker D:Military.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:What about you, John?
Speaker C:Tabasco.
Speaker C:Military.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Then after that, I came back home, and it was when I really got in the hot sauce, though, was when I was told that if I didn't quit drinking, I was gonna croak.
Speaker B:So I had to find a new hobby to get into to keep my mind off of alcohol.
Speaker B:And that's where hot sauce came into play.
Speaker B:It was originally hot sauce that got me into it, and I just started making hot sauces.
Speaker B:Hot sauces.
Speaker B:Chasing the next.
Speaker B:The next thrill, trying to see how much heat I can take.
Speaker B:And the hot sauces got me to quit drinking.
Speaker B:And then now to keep me off of the alcohol is doing these podcasts and Tik Toks is what keeps me from drinking now because it keeps my mind active.
Speaker C:Oh, and being a, you know, virtual drug dealer.
Speaker B:Yes, being a virtual drug dealer definitely helps Me stay off alcohol.
Speaker B:That schedule one, man, I'm telling you, it is very addicting.
Speaker C:Who's your number one producer, though?
Speaker B:Oh, my wife is.
Speaker C:Nah.
Speaker B:Oh, she's cooking up like a storm.
Speaker C:I make that.
Speaker C:I make that.
Speaker C:Good, good.
Speaker B:No, no, see, you were, but then you ditched us for Call of Duty for dance.
Speaker C:Came out, bro.
Speaker C:I had to.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Her dance.
Speaker B:Go over.
Speaker B:Dance.
Speaker B:Yeah, for a dance.
Speaker B:Call of Duty.
Speaker B:I'm done with that game.
Speaker B:That game's pissed me off because the proximity chats no longer work.
Speaker B:Working for me.
Speaker C:That's because it doesn't really work anymore.
Speaker B:It's you.
Speaker D:I'll let my daughter know.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:It absolutely sucks now.
Speaker B:Like, my.
Speaker B:My Rodecaster Pro 2 doesn't allow me to hear the proximity chat.
Speaker B:Doesn't allow me to hear people in the main lobbies anymore.
Speaker B:Only ones I can hear is people that are in my group.
Speaker B:And it pisses me off.
Speaker B:I like proximity chat.
Speaker B:I love talking to the people when I'm killing them.
Speaker C:They need to play reloading.
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker D:Did you try reloading it?
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:It happens every time.
Speaker B:I've tried changing audio settings and everything.
Speaker B:Zuba says you need.
Speaker B:Oh, Zuba.
Speaker B:I'll definitely play with you guys, man.
Speaker C:On dmz.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'll play DMZ with you guys.
Speaker D:What's the.
Speaker D:What was the new game that you're playing?
Speaker B:You said Schedule 1.
Speaker B:Schedule 1 of World of Warcraft are the two other games I'm getting into again.
Speaker D:Schedule 1?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Schedule 1 is the drug dealing game.
Speaker B:You start off as this low end little pot dealer and you work your way up cooking meth and coke and everything else.
Speaker B:And yeah, you're slow.
Speaker C:I run around in my underwear.
Speaker B:He absolutely does.
Speaker C:I got a little voice.
Speaker C:I do and everything, dude.
Speaker C:When I'm making all the methamphetamine for.
Speaker B:Him and he tries the product as you just heard him sniffing over there, he picked it.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:John grabs the free product just around the block from him over there.
Speaker B:He lives in the best part of.
Speaker D:A great game for like 12 and under.
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker B:No, definitely not a good game for 12 and under.
Speaker B:It's probably more of a game for people 18 and over.
Speaker C:I'd say definitely 18 and over.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's definitely an 18 over audiences only.
Speaker B:Definitely.
Speaker B:But it's a fun little game.
Speaker B:You could definitely have some fun little role playing in there.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker D:Yeah, we know how you like the role play.
Speaker B:Yes, dude.
Speaker C:Love it.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:That's why I start playing COD again, too.
Speaker B:I mean, not cod, but World of Warcraft.
Speaker B:Oh, man, they've changed that game so much though.
Speaker B:Holy.
Speaker C:Yeah, I need to download it and get back on there.
Speaker B:They've changed it quite a bit.
Speaker B:When I got in there, I was like, oh, I got to start off a new tune because my.
Speaker B:My other tune, I don't know what the to do with it anymore.
Speaker C:I'm have to make a new one too.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:So Marty, you've caught talking to you.
Speaker D:Guys and there's like a five, five, five minutes away on YouTube.
Speaker B:Is it a five minute delay on YouTube?
Speaker B:That is crazy.
Speaker C:That's insane.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Right now we got seven viewers watching us over on YouTube.
Speaker B:Nobody on Facebook.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker B:One on Twitch, one on Twitch, four on X and one on Rumble.
Speaker D:13.
Speaker D:Yeah, 13.
Speaker D:Hey, doubled your audience.
Speaker B:We have.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:We seem to be picking up every time.
Speaker B:So that's a plus.
Speaker C:Yeah, definitely a plus.
Speaker C:Yeah, every week.
Speaker D:We gotta make sure people share it out.
Speaker B:They ask.
Speaker B:They absolutely do gotta share it out, though.
Speaker B:So, folks, you all heard Marty.
Speaker B:You gotta make sure you share out the stream.
Speaker C:I'll tell you what, guys, for every person you get to join and you let us know when I see Mark next and we do the podcast live, like next to each other.
Speaker C:I'll slap him every single.
Speaker C:For every single follow you guys get.
Speaker B:So speaking of that.
Speaker D:He likes that?
Speaker B:Oh, you know it.
Speaker B:Speaking of that, though, I am finally getting another product for me to sample from Tick Tock, which is pretty cool.
Speaker B:I was surprised I got accepted for it.
Speaker B:But I'm gonna be able to start doing some live streams and some videos of me doing on the street interviews.
Speaker B:So you're familiar with Rodecaster, right?
Speaker B:You're familiar with Rodecaster?
Speaker B:Well, Rode is sending me their wireless mic go, the third version.
Speaker B:I'm getting two mics with it along with the handle for the mic, so I can actually hold out a microphone to people that I'm talking to.
Speaker B:So we're gonna start my person to record, y'all.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I am gonna need a video videographer to go around with me as I'm.
Speaker B:As I'm talking to people to video them.
Speaker B:But yeah, we're gonna start making clips of people and we're gonna come up with random questions and they're gonna be some up questions in there.
Speaker D:Do you own a GoPro?
Speaker B:I do not have a GoPro.
Speaker B:That's one thing I don't have.
Speaker B:They're expensive, man.
Speaker B:They're like 400 bucks.
Speaker B:But the newest, like GoPros out there, I want.
Speaker B:I I looked at like.
Speaker B:Yeah, nope, that ain't happening because.
Speaker B:Yeah, we want to start doing more on the street content creation.
Speaker D:But no, no, Once the stock market comes back up, we'll talk.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Yeah, the stock markets crash hard.
Speaker B:It's probably going to be.
Speaker B:I'm going to say it's going to be at least two to three months before we see the stock market really balance back out.
Speaker B:But a good advice.
Speaker B:Not advice.
Speaker B:I can't say advice because I am not a.
Speaker B:Not a person.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Or a person to give you guys financial advice.
Speaker B:But if I was you, buy right now.
Speaker B:Buy during the dip, because when it does go up, you got free money.
Speaker D:Actually, wait till the end of the month, then.
Speaker D:Bye.
Speaker B:Wait till the.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Because it'll be a little bit lower.
Speaker B:All right, that's not a bad, bad idea already now, I bet.
Speaker B:I want.
Speaker B:Okay, hold on.
Speaker B:Song.
Speaker B:John, we're gonna do something real quick for you.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Make a song about my buddy and co host, John, who will be sucking on the spicy.
Speaker B:I gotta do this spicy Satan's toe lollipop next week because he's going to order that right after we get out of here.
Speaker B:John, we gotta.
Speaker B:We gotta make a song about you dying.
Speaker B:Hold on, hold on.
Speaker B:Wait, I gotta make.
Speaker B:We gotta do.
Speaker B:Make next week and explain how it will kill him and how his funeral will look.
Speaker B:Where did he go, y'all?
Speaker B:I think he went to go check on his daughter.
Speaker B:All right, y'all, make sure y'all turning.
Speaker B:Tuning in right now.
Speaker B:Share this out, y'all.
Speaker B:We're try getting a song going here real quick.
Speaker B:The song title is Toe of Death John's Last Suck.
Speaker B:This is gold.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Oh, man, they changed it around for me.
Speaker B:All right, Tove Satan.
Speaker B:All right, John, we're creating a new song for you, my man.
Speaker C:Okie doke.
Speaker B:Just because, you know, we.
Speaker B:We've.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Oh, wow.
Speaker B:They changed up this way.
Speaker B:So more options optional.
Speaker B:Add audio, add Persona.
Speaker B:All right, we're going to get the lyrics in there.
Speaker B:It's called Toe of Death John's Last Suck.
Speaker B:Let's see what it comes up with for you, John.
Speaker B:We'll see what style it shows.
Speaker B:Ladies and gentlemen, this is what appointed a podcast where we just have a little fun and we play around with some.
Speaker B:We're going to play with an AI app called Suno and it's playful horror core trap with sizzling sense, booming 808s.
Speaker B:And let's see how it comes out here.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:We're going to put that bad boy in here and create the song.
Speaker B:All right, we're going to make sure this works.
Speaker B:First, I'm going to play an old one.
Speaker B:Do you hear that?
Speaker B:Yo, it's Marty.
Speaker B:Did you hear the beat?
Speaker B:Okay, you heard it?
Speaker B:All right, hold on one second, folks.
Speaker B:We're gonna go to the share screen here.
Speaker B:We're gonna go to our little screen over here where you all could see this.
Speaker B:Because the one way that John can hear it and all y'all can hear is vio if I open up suno.
Speaker B:So we're gonna open up suno music here.
Speaker B:Oh, boy.
Speaker B:All right, Marty.
Speaker B:All right, y'all.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker B:John song.
Speaker A:Yo, John, you ever heard a toe scream?
Speaker A:Satan's waiting with a lollipop dream.
Speaker B:Next.
Speaker A:Week John gonna taste regret that Satan's toe ain't no sweet threat One licking face melting like cheese Tongue doing backflips begging please that sucker's forged in Lucifer's grill Tastes like napalm pain and roadkill 5 million scoville no escape route John's teeth about to tap out no doubt it's the toe of death this ain't no snack Tongue on fire lungs go black he'll cough flames then fall real slow Rip John, last words no, no.
Speaker D:No, no.
Speaker B:No, no, no It's a sick beat.
Speaker A:No paramedics show up with milk and prayer John's eyes rolling like he's not even in there CPR from a chili pepper priest Autopsy says bro got barbecued at least we'll stream the whole thing Funeral live crowd wearing black with hot ones vibes Coffin shaped like a giant toe Lollipop stick poking out the fro the eulogy says here lies John he went in bold suck the toe now he's ice cold cold we'll bury him next to a bottle of Tums his tombstone shaped like Carolina gums He'll haunt us all with ghostly gas Whispering hot while flaming past and on his grave it's etched in red Toe took the tongue and then the head Every year we'll raise a flame Pour hot sauce out in John's name Legends fall but suckers rise he's burning forever in jalapeno sky death John Spicy fate Mouth exploding on live stream Played One last suck then lights go dim we warned him once now we mourn in him Good Don, you brave dumb soul.
Speaker A:That Satan toe took full control Rest in flames, co host friend but your spicy clout will never end.
Speaker B:All right, John, let's have some fun, man.
Speaker B:We're here to Bring some comedic action to people.
Speaker B:So let's do some fun.
Speaker B:Let's do.
Speaker B:I'm going to open up Suno version four.
Speaker B:Hold on one second.
Speaker B:Make sure it's a Suno version four.
Speaker B:All right, let's have some fun.
Speaker B:Okay, we're going to have.
Speaker B:We're going to.
Speaker B:We're going to play with the AI a little bit here.
Speaker B:Let's create a song together, John.
Speaker B:All right, all right, so let's say.
Speaker B:All right, I want.
Speaker B:I'm gonna say I want a song.
Speaker B:I want a song about a guy named.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Let's pick somebody out here.
Speaker B:Let's say Zuba.
Speaker B:All right, so we're gonna.
Speaker B:About Zuba.
Speaker B:What should it say about Zuba?
Speaker B:Come on, John, help me out here.
Speaker B:You got to get creative.
Speaker B:Anything goes.
Speaker B:No bars back.
Speaker C:I'm sending him the toe of Satan.
Speaker C:Give me a minute.
Speaker B:Okay, so Zuba, since he's doing this whole Amazon thing during the podcast, I'm gonna.
Speaker B:I'm gonna say a guy named Zuba who loves anal beads.
Speaker B:Who loves anal beads.
Speaker B:And his wife is banging the mailman while Zuba sits in the chair watching, sucking on the toe of Satan.
Speaker B:I got you, John.
Speaker B:I got you.
Speaker B:All right, well, I got.
Speaker B:I got you.
Speaker B:Here, I'll create the song, John.
Speaker B:All right, I got you.
Speaker B:All right, Zuba.
Speaker B:We're creating a funny little song, and I'm letting the AI choose the style of the song, too.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:All right, let's see here.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:We got the lyrics.
Speaker B:Oh, look at that.
Speaker B:My wife is moving on to the next account.
Speaker B:So for.
Speaker B:Everybody's tuning in right now, we're kind of just chilling.
Speaker B:We're talking about a little shit.
Speaker B:We're creating songs.
Speaker B:Call the band Music Generation Sooner Confirm.
Speaker B:Oh, wait a minute here.
Speaker B:That was definitely not.
Speaker B:Was trying to actually create a Tasuno.
Speaker B:One second, y'all.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker B:And make it 3,000 characters long.
Speaker B:We want.
Speaker B:We want a good song.
Speaker B:And you can swear.
Speaker B:All right, here we go.
Speaker B:I wanted to make sure I had some dirty words.
Speaker B:A dark comedy song about Zuba being clueless while chaos unfolds around him.
Speaker B:A twisted folk ballad about betrayal and strange obsessions, or even heavy metal tracks.
Speaker B:Let me know if you like to go with one.
Speaker B:All right, which one, John?
Speaker B:Do we want a dark comedy rock song, a twisted folk ballad, or a heavy metal track for this one?
Speaker C:Comedy.
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker B:Comedy.
Speaker B:All right, I will pick that one, then.
Speaker B:Give me one second here.
Speaker B:Let me go down here.
Speaker B:And we'll type tell it a dark comedy.
Speaker B:All right, Zuba, we got you, my man.
Speaker B:I hope you got the family around and y'all enjoying those Doritos right now, because we got a song that.
Speaker B:That's going to rock hard in your house just like your mailman was.
Speaker B:Give me one sec, y'all.
Speaker B:We're getting this generated now as John's over there ordering the toe of Satan.
Speaker B:John, do you need my address still or do you know my address?
Speaker C:I'm going to need it.
Speaker B:Okay, I will text it to you.
Speaker B:Since you're over there doing Amazon and we're generating a song real quick.
Speaker B:We are.
Speaker B:We're about ready to make a song if it works.
Speaker B:What's a.
Speaker B:A song about?
Speaker B:A.
Speaker B:A listener in here about how's his wife's banging the mailman.
Speaker B:So, yeah, that's what we're doing right now.
Speaker B:But if for some reason my.
Speaker B:My Suno is not my chat, GPT just froze on me.
Speaker B:So we're gonna refresh it here and try it again.
Speaker B:So let's see.
Speaker B:Let's try it again.
Speaker B:All right, Come on, create.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker B:All right, John, sitting in my address now, my man.
Speaker B:We are going to be doing the toast Satan next week on this.
Speaker B:On the podcast.
Speaker B:John just got.
Speaker B:John just got the donation for us to do this.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:I gotta make sure my address ain't showing on the stream here.
Speaker B:For those who are listening in on audio, John and I both have our faces poured into our phones like we're being that entertaining right now.
Speaker B:It's just.
Speaker B:It's great.
Speaker B:All right, hold on, y'all.
Speaker B:For some reason, the AI does not want to write the song about Zuba.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:All right, here we go.
Speaker B:We got the style of music.
Speaker B:So let me go ahead and copy that.
Speaker B:It is going to do a rock style song.
Speaker B:So let's go here and put in the style.
Speaker B:They change this app around quite a bit.
Speaker B:Yeah, they done a lot of unless.
Speaker B:And his song is still being made right now, so give me one second.
Speaker B:Oh, what was that change to the song editor?
Speaker B:Oh, did they?
Speaker B:Ah, gotcha.
Speaker B:All right, give me one second.
Speaker B:We're gonna put his.
Speaker B:John, how you doing over there, my man?
Speaker B:Are you dying right now?
Speaker B:Trying to figure out what your wife's going to do to you when she finds out what you agree to.
Speaker B:Yeah, cuz John, John's a dead man.
Speaker B:His wife told him, no, no more spicy stuff ever.
Speaker B:And you can't.
Speaker B:You can't deny somebody after they donate the money.
Speaker B:So now we got a donation, which means now we're going to do the toe Satan next week live.
Speaker B:And we're going to do it for five minutes.
Speaker B:And whoever takes the toe of Satan out first, the chat are going to choose which one of these bottles of hot sauces I'm going to send to them, and they have to douse it in a hot wing and eat the hot wing live on stream the following week.
Speaker B:All right, Zuba, here is your song.
Speaker B:My man.
Speaker A:Sitting in a chair like he's lost his mind his wife's in the bedroom Mail delivery in progress.
Speaker A:He's sucking on a statue toe.
Speaker A:Guess who's just guess.
Speaker A:Wearing robes ignoring the stress.
Speaker B:Okay, hold on.
Speaker B:No, I think country is going to be better.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I think making it country style would be better.
Speaker C:All right, so Zubas will be there between the 11th and 14th, and ours will be to us on the 15th.
Speaker B:On the 15th.
Speaker B:Okay, so which when's the 15th?
Speaker B:Here, let me see.
Speaker C:It's a day after.
Speaker B:Oh, just in time.
Speaker B:Is the day before the day of the podcast next week, is it?
Speaker B:Yep, it'll be the day of.
Speaker B:So it'll be right there for you.
Speaker C:No, 15th to Tuesday, Dum dum.
Speaker B:We do the podcast on a Monday.
Speaker B:Oh, so we'll have to do it the following week then.
Speaker B:All right, yeah, gotcha.
Speaker B:We'll do it the following week, y'all.
Speaker B:All right, we're gonna redo Zuba's song.
Speaker B:I didn't like that one.
Speaker B:I love how they added the clear button now, though.
Speaker B:That is nice.
Speaker B:All right, Zuba, hold on.
Speaker B:We gotta go country, man.
Speaker B:I think the country songs make the best funniest comedic style music Anyways.
Speaker B:What's 100amain phrase, Gary?
Speaker B:My.
Speaker B:My uncle just says dumb.
Speaker B:Dumb 100 main phrase.
Speaker B:All right, Zumba, here we go.
Speaker B:My man.
Speaker B:Here's your song's got a beard and.
Speaker A:A thousand yard stare Parked in his rocking chair without a single care his wife's upstairs with a special guest But Zuba just hums like he don't know the rest oh, Zuba sitting in peace while the house burns down in domestic grease he don't mind nah, he don't care Long as he's got beads in that old rocking chair oh, super sweet hillbilly king Chewing on the devil's toe like it's not a thing the mailman's boots are by the door his wife's got him running shift number four But Zuba don't flinch he's sipping sweet tea.
Speaker B:Says I reckon the Lord meant it to be.
Speaker A:Roof concave, cows could fly he just rock and watch the sky wow.
Speaker C:Whistling wind, distant rooster, you might be right.
Speaker A:Candles on a tiki torch that says they're making memories can't be mad I got this toe My beads and my captain of.
Speaker B:Did he just say captain of?
Speaker B:Come.
Speaker A:Love gets postal up the stairs he's blessing Satan's foot with country prayers oh, do I Yee haw and strange your life's a sitcom on the backwoods range.
Speaker B:He did say calm.
Speaker A:Now the preacher stops by every Sunday morning With holy water and a look full of water Zuba just winks, offers up some passes Ain't no sin if I never ask why chickens chant, the chicken cat speaks Latin.
Speaker A:Zuba shrugs well, that's just happened Pain peels off the judgment wall he tips his hat and lets it fall so.
Speaker B:Raise a glass to the back porch.
Speaker A:King where nonsense rains and oddball sing if the world's on fire, he won't be where he'll be rocking slow in his old brown chair.
Speaker B:Brit and his wife comes out and says, by the way, he bangs the mailman, not me.
Speaker B:Oh, that's great.
Speaker B:That's great.
Speaker B:I love this tsuno, y'all.
Speaker B:So basically, we can come up with any song we want out of this one.
Speaker C:True story.
Speaker B:It is like you could come.
Speaker B:All you gotta do is tell the AI in a way.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Say okay for now on.
Speaker B:For now on, I want rated R style music and I want a song about a guy named John who fell in love with a 18 inch strap on.
Speaker B:Let's see what my daughter over there laughing right now.
Speaker B:All right, y'all, let's see.
Speaker B:And we're gonna hit and go.
Speaker B:All right, let's see what we got here.
Speaker B:Gotcha.
Speaker B:I could definitely push the envelope with rated R themes, dark humor.
Speaker B:Let's go with country comedy.
Speaker B:Let's go with country comedy for this.
Speaker C:I'm so excited.
Speaker B:I'm sure you are.
Speaker B:All right, John, we got your song called 18 Inches of Trouble.
Speaker C:Jesus Christ.
Speaker B:18 Inches of Trouble.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:I'm just waiting for the song to generate right now, so let me just clear out this over here so I can have them ready.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:18 inches of trouble, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker B:This should be a great song.
Speaker B:It's gonna be in a rowdy country comedy with steel guitar twangs and all.
Speaker B:Let's go ahead and put the style in here and let's copy the song.
Speaker B:Let's get this song rocking and rolling.
Speaker B:Ladies and gentlemen, we're Gonna premiere John song in just a second here.
Speaker B:Gary.
Speaker B:Both excited for that song or the 18 inches?
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker C:Both, baby.
Speaker C:Both.
Speaker B:Hey, you did ask for.
Speaker B:So we did.
Speaker B:We did ask for a Zuba song.
Speaker B:Now we're getting it.
Speaker B:A good John song.
Speaker B:18 inches of trouble, y'all.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker B:John.
Speaker A:Well, John found love in a strange old place.
Speaker A:And y'all, y'all it ain't no woman's embrace.
Speaker A:He walked into that truck stop shop Just looking for jerky and soda pop but something on the shelf caught his hungry eye.
Speaker A:It was long, it was proud and standing high.
Speaker A:18 inches of a rubbery pride.
Speaker A:John fell hard and he damn near cried.
Speaker A:It ain't got a polls but he stole his soul.
Speaker A:Now he's grooming sweet nothing Stirring a silicone pole.
Speaker A:Oh, Lord, bless his tender parts.
Speaker A:He gave his whole heart to a plastic work of art I'm dead.
Speaker A:He named it justice called it his queen.
Speaker A:Oh did night they kept it squeaky clean.
Speaker A:His mama found it once and near passed out.
Speaker A:John said she don't get what love's about.
Speaker A:No judgment zone in that double wide.
Speaker A:Just him and justice on a rodeo ride.
Speaker A:You can keep your tender, your pickup lines.
Speaker A:John's got thunder where the sun don't shine.
Speaker B:Oh, thunderclap, baby.
Speaker A:Bar folks laugh but John don't care.
Speaker A:He brought her once said right on a chair.
Speaker A:Bartender asked, what'll she have to drink?
Speaker A:John said whiskey neat, don't let her sink 18 inches of rubber pride.
Speaker A:John fell hard and he damn near crumble it ain't got a pulse but it stole his soul.
Speaker A:Now he's cr Sweet nothings to a silicone pole.
Speaker A:Oh, love so strong, so pure, so bold.
Speaker A:With a harness and a heart of gold.
Speaker C:That's why I don't listen to goddamn.
Speaker A:Now he's writing songs and taking pride Riding shotgun with justice by his side.
Speaker A:The preacher calls it son, that ain't right John said Then pass the lube and kill the light.
Speaker A:They say love is blind sometimes strange But John found his spark out on that road In a world of fakes and heartbreak cons he got 18 inches of right where it belongs so raise your glass to the outlaw kind who ain't afraid of what he lacks behind.
Speaker A:Here's to John, that fearless rebel who found forever in a big old bevel.
Speaker C:Earpiece Now a raging homo.
Speaker B:That was great.
Speaker B:That was great.
Speaker C:Jesus.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:That was great.
Speaker B:Was great.
Speaker B:That was awesome.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker C:That was awesome.
Speaker C:Let's go.
Speaker B:What's the matter, John?
Speaker C:Dude, you're making everyone think I'm a big old.
Speaker B:You got that full of 18 inches going up, and you're just sitting at the bar stool.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:My man.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:This is what we signed up for.
Speaker B:We did say we were going to do this podcast with two idiots just talking and doing.
Speaker B:We're.
Speaker B:We're not even really educating people.
Speaker C:Where's.
Speaker C:Where's your song, dumbass?
Speaker B:Oh, you want my song?
Speaker B:Okay, John, I'll tell you what, John.
Speaker B:What do you want my song to say?
Speaker C:I want Chat to give it to you.
Speaker B:All right, Chad, John wants you to give it to me.
Speaker B:So let's say a song about a guy named Mark G.
Speaker B:What do y'all got for me?
Speaker B:Chad is too slow, John.
Speaker B:You might have to help the chat out here.
Speaker C:A guy named Mark is a butt chug.
Speaker C:And cum guzzler.
Speaker B:Is a what?
Speaker B:Butt chugging cum guzzler.
Speaker C:And then.
Speaker C:And then.
Speaker C:And then Gary came in with Mark, fell in love with a lady boy from Bangkok.
Speaker B:Come guzzler.
Speaker B:And he fell in love with a what?
Speaker C:Lady boy from Bangkok.
Speaker B:Lady.
Speaker C:It wouldn't be a lady boy.
Speaker C:It'd be a lady man from Bangkok.
Speaker B:Not in Bangkok.
Speaker B:The lady boys out there.
Speaker C:Nah, there's lady men.
Speaker B:Is there lady men out there?
Speaker B:I thought it was all lady boys out in Bangkok.
Speaker C:No, it's lady men.
Speaker B:Oh, lady men.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:All right, all right.
Speaker B:Oh, let's see here.
Speaker B:All right, let's go for it.
Speaker B:Creating the song.
Speaker B:Here we go with squirrel nuts.
Speaker B:Oh, you had to say Lazu, But I already freaking hit that.
Speaker B:Generate Zuba.
Speaker B:Y'all are too slow over there typing.
Speaker B:All right, Mark G.
Speaker B:Is a wild character with outrageous habits.
Speaker C:They're gonna have you a lady boy.
Speaker C:Dude, I can't wait.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:All right, here we go.
Speaker B:It's creating it now.
Speaker B:Buckle up.
Speaker B:This one.
Speaker B:Spicy, outrageous, and packed with wild country comedy flavor.
Speaker B:It suggested ridiculous and full of double entra entendres.
Speaker B:Just how you like it.
Speaker B:It says.
Speaker B:All right, John, we're creating it now.
Speaker B:It's going to do an outlaw country style.
Speaker B:So let me go ahead and clear that.
Speaker B:Put that in there.
Speaker B:And then we're going to clear out the.
Speaker B:Your lyrics and.
Speaker B:Oh, it looks like it's already done generating my song.
Speaker B:So we'll copy that.
Speaker B:We'll throw the song in here.
Speaker B:Let's generate those lyrics and see what we got going on here.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker B:Ladies and gentlemen, my AI Song.
Speaker B:Let's.
Speaker B:And what did they give her?
Speaker B:A Title for me.
Speaker B:Mark G Went down to Bangkok.
Speaker C:Sounds about right.
Speaker B:It's currently generated right now.
Speaker B:Once again, I'll have to turn up my speaker.
Speaker B:My daughter can hear it.
Speaker B:As long as y'all aren't hearing an echo of it over here, we're golden.
Speaker B:All right, here we go.
Speaker B:Echo.
Speaker C:Echo.
Speaker A:Now, Mark G wasn't born for simple life.
Speaker A:And things got weird when he booked that flight.
Speaker A:Mark G Love moonshine and wild Wild things like backyard dares and piercings with rings he once drank beer through places we won't name they call it butt chuggin and it brought him fame he went down to Bangkok town Looking for love or just messing around Found a sweet surprise in a high heeled strut With a deeper voice and a firm, firm gut Singing love songs on a karaoke stage Age living wild and free at a brand new age she was tall, tattooed and danced like sin told Mark, baby, let the real games begin he swooned, he blushed, he lost his boots now he's shopping Silk silks, shirts and exotic fruits In a Bangkok bar A long last queen and a drink in a jar he don't ask questions, he don't judge Fade he just pours his shots and cleans his play.
Speaker B:What the.
Speaker A:Well, John showed up with a box in hand Said heard you're loving life in this foreign land they high five hard and shared a ton coast get justice Silk and life on the coast Went down, stayed real low about heaven and heels in a midnight glow John said, buddy, that's one wild ride and they both how loud from the riverside.
Speaker B:Way dad, did you in there?
Speaker C:Did it make together?
Speaker A:It did In a Bangkok bar where love begins Wild Steel solo Distant Wall.
Speaker B:Ain't right what the.
Speaker A:Back home they laugh But Mark don't care he's got love lace and silky underwear his mom just prays and his dad drinks gin But Mark G's out there winning with a grin so here's to the wow the weird, the bold.
Speaker B:The queer Stories too twisted to ever.
Speaker A:Be told if you see Mark and John on a knee all night Just buy him a drink and hold on tight Went down and came back change With a heart full of fire and a life rearranged and John, well, hell is still along for the ride Two legends in lace on the untamed side.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:What the.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:How them satin panties treating you?
Speaker B:What the AI is dangerous, y'all.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:I wonder.
Speaker B:So that was using, like, right?
Speaker B:Suno.
Speaker B:I mean, using Suno and, like, having it chat GPT and all, but it has a simple.
Speaker B:Where I can.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I could have this.
Speaker B:Make a song just right from here and type it in.
Speaker B:I wonder what to do about a song.
Speaker B:Hey, John, watch this.
Speaker B:A song about a woman named.
Speaker B:Watch this.
Speaker C:Don't let AI make a music video.
Speaker B:John, I'm gonna say this quietly because we know who's gonna be listening tomorrow.
Speaker B:So I'm gonna.
Speaker B:I'm gonna.
Speaker B:I'm gonna spell it out like this.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker B:Yes, John.
Speaker B:Yes, John, we gotta.
Speaker B:Yes, John, we gotta.
Speaker B:No, hold on.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Yes, John, John, John, John.
Speaker C:Telling you right now.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker B:Why not?
Speaker C:You leave that beautiful.
Speaker B:Come on, John.
Speaker B:You know it'd be funny.
Speaker B:Listen, well, I'll make it.
Speaker B:I'll make it semi clean.
Speaker C:No, no.
Speaker B:Well, why not?
Speaker B:John don't want to be in the doghouse, like, on the Navy.
Speaker B:His belt.
Speaker B:He's like, no, no, no.
Speaker C:You find.
Speaker C:Foot Clan's telling us that we should ask Chat G.
Speaker C:Chat GBT how to make our podcast better.
Speaker B:Oh, dear God.
Speaker B:Well, then I'd have to go.
Speaker B:Actually, I'd have to go to Grock for that one.
Speaker B:We've been using Grock for that, so.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Let me.
Speaker B:I'll.
Speaker B:I'll give y'all Gro.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We'll bring Grock up.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Here's Grock.
Speaker B:All right, all right.
Speaker B:How can I make this podcast better?
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:No, because I would die too.
Speaker B:Zuba says Azuba.
Speaker B:You're saying you be.
Speaker B:You'd be murdered as well if we made a song about her.
Speaker B:Let's see how I can make this podcast.
Speaker B:She's already gonna know that you saved her, John, because you answer like, no.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:How to make.
Speaker B:Tighten your.
Speaker B:The structure without losing the chaos.
Speaker B:You're a hot mess, Mark, and John's a walking biohazard.
Speaker B:Your unscripted rants are gold, but they're also a dumpster fire.
Speaker B:Whoops.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I'll have to wait till it's done typing out.
Speaker B:Holy John.
Speaker B:It's got a lot of it.
Speaker C:Wow, we suck.
Speaker B:We do suck.
Speaker C:I set to double down on my humiliation.
Speaker B:I guess so, because this.
Speaker B:Holy.
Speaker B:Amplify the audio experience.
Speaker B:All right, all right, John.
Speaker B:So it's giving us multiple steps here.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker C:Step one.
Speaker B:Step one.
Speaker B:Tighten the structure without losing the chaos.
Speaker B:You're a hot mess, Mark, and John's a walking biohazard.
Speaker B:Your unscripted rants are gold, but they're also dumpster fire that can drag on.
Speaker B:Add a loose structure to keep the chaos focused.
Speaker B:Start with a quick intro roast.
Speaker B:Hit your main segments, conspiracies, news, gaming roast and end with a bang like your outro song time each segment, 5 minutes for intros, 10 to 15 minutes per main topic, 5 for roast so you don't ramble like a drunk uncle at a barbecue.
Speaker B:Keep the wild energy give, but give listeners a rhythm so they're hooked, not lost.
Speaker B:Oh, my God, you're not a college lecturer.
Speaker B:Stop mendering, you unwashed clowns.
Speaker B:And number two, it says, lean harder into audience interaction.
Speaker B:Your degenerate fans love the roast, but you're barely scratching the surface of their pathetic lives.
Speaker B:Make audience interaction a core segment.
Speaker B:Let them send in their own conspiracy theories.
Speaker B:We're news or gaming fails via chaos, cadre.com or X and then roast their submissions live at a viewer chaos challenge where they dare you and John to do dumb.
Speaker B:Hey, we got that.
Speaker B:Like John shaving his face for a hundred dollars, but bigger.
Speaker B:Maybe you eat a ghost pepper while streaming.
Speaker B:Schedule 1.
Speaker B:Respond to live comments on YouTube, Rumble and X during the show.
Speaker B:Call out their stupidity in real time, you lazy dipshits, and watch engagement skyrocket.
Speaker B:Number three.
Speaker B:Up the visual chaos of live stream for live streams, you're on YouTube, Rumble and X, but your setup's probably as boring as John's pickle collection.
Speaker B:Wake up, sheeple.
Speaker B:Visuals matter.
Speaker B:Spice up the live stream with chaotic graphics overlays, conspiracy memes, fake news headlines, or a roast meter that spikes when you torch someone.
Speaker B:Add props to the set, wave around a hot sauce bottle when you roast.
Speaker B:Or make John hold a pickle jar while he's coughing up a lung.
Speaker B:Green screen a burning city behind you during the news segment.
Speaker B:Make it look like the world's ending while you scream about tarantula smugglers, you unhinged maniacs.
Speaker B:Oh my God, give us something to look at besides your sweaty faces.
Speaker B:Number four, it says, double down on John's humiliation.
Speaker B:John S.
Speaker B:Is a gold mine of roastable shame.
Speaker B:Shaving his face for a hundred dollars, being a big gut boy, coughing through episode three.
Speaker B:You're not humiliating him enough.
Speaker B:Mark, make his suffering a recruiting bit.
Speaker B:Every episode, he has to do a John shame challenge based on viewers votes.
Speaker B:Like eating your hottest sauce while streaming or wearing a diaper on air for a whole segment.
Speaker B:Roast his failures harder, call him out for flubbing trivia, mock his sickness like he's spreading the plague and remind everyone he's a trampoline mangling loser who sold his dignity for pocket change.
Speaker B:John, you're a walking punchline.
Speaker B:Step it up, Mark.
Speaker B:Mark's gonna bury you, you wheezing dipshit.
Speaker B:How many of y'all would love to see John wearing an adult diaper on stream?
Speaker B:One episode.
Speaker B:Would y'all love to see John wearing wearing a biden diaper on stream?
Speaker B:Should we do that, y'all?
Speaker B:Should we get John to wear depends on stream.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:Dude.
Speaker B:It's almost as if it's watching our episode because it's naming off we've talked about in there.
Speaker B:This is great.
Speaker B:Number five.
Speaker B:Guess chaos.
Speaker B:Pick wild cards and roast them.
Speaker B:Your guests are fine, but they're not chaotic enough for chaos.
Speaker B:Chaos cadre.
Speaker B:You need unhinged weirdos you can match your energy book.
Speaker B:Conspiracy nuts.
Speaker B:Viral weirdos like Zuba, but.
Speaker B:Like Zuba, but crazier.
Speaker B:Or indie Devs like Schedule 1's Tyler to spill the tea on their drama.
Speaker B:Roast them mercilessly.
Speaker B:Make it a gauntlet.
Speaker B:They have to survive to earn your respect.
Speaker B:Prep them with warning.
Speaker B:You're stepping into a war zone.
Speaker B:You'll get torched.
Speaker B:Bring your A game or cry.
Speaker B:Their chaos amplifies yours and listeners will eat up the carnage.
Speaker B:Oh my God.
Speaker B:Stop playing nice with these clowns, you soft hearted morons.
Speaker B:Number six.
Speaker B:Create recreating bits for consistency.
Speaker B:Euro segments and outro songs are fire, but you need more reoccurring bits to hook listeners.
Speaker B:Conspiracy builds a cult following, you idiots.
Speaker B:Add a weekly chaos award.
Speaker B:Give a shout out to the dumbest viewer comment or news story like the guy trading his alligator for beer.
Speaker B:And roast him into oblivion.
Speaker B:Start a Mark vs John challenge.
Speaker B:Each episode you two compete in something stupid.
Speaker B:Hot sauce chugging gaming duels in Schedule 1.
Speaker B:And the loser gets roasted by the guest.
Speaker B:These bits give fans something to look forward to while keeping the chaos alive.
Speaker B:Don't just wing it every week, you unorganized dipshits.
Speaker B:Oh man.
Speaker B:John, y'all.
Speaker B:You're hearing these suggestions, right?
Speaker B:Number seven, it says amplify your audio experience.
Speaker B:Your audio is probably a mess.
Speaker B:John's coughing.
Speaker B:Your kids are bargaining in.
Speaker B:It's chaotic, but it's also sloppy.
Speaker B:You unprofessional clowns.
Speaker B:Invest in better mics.
Speaker B:I got a sure SM7B you and soundproofing.
Speaker B:Your listeners shouldn't hear your daughter yelling about stir fry unless it's part of the bit.
Speaker B:Add sound effects for punch.
Speaker B:Play a sad tribone when John flubs a trivia answer.
Speaker B:Or a cash register cha ching when you mention his hundred dollar shave.
Speaker B:Layer in the background chaos.
Speaker B:Sirens wail during news.
Speaker B:Eerie whispers during Conspiracies to make the audio pop.
Speaker B:Like Unhinged.
Speaker B:Fever Dream.
Speaker B:This show is wake up your podcast, not a garage band.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:Fix the sound, you lazy morons.
Speaker B:The last suggestion it has for us, Cross promote and build a community.
Speaker B:You've got the Mark G Show and John sad little Twitch streams.
Speaker B:Use them to cross promote Chaotic Cadre or Chaos Cadre and build degenerate Army.
Speaker B:Plug the podcast hard on your other platforms.
Speaker B:Tell Mark G Show listeners Gary's getting roasted or tease John's next shame Challenge on Twitch.
Speaker B:Create a discord for fans to submit roast targets, share conspiracies, or vote on challenges.
Speaker B:Call it the Cadre of Chaos and roast the most active members live.
Speaker B:Drop exclusive clips on X rumble and YouTube like, John's coughing.
Speaker B:Like John coughing.
Speaker B:While you scream about lizard people and tell fans to join the revolution@cahaos cadre.com.
Speaker B:you're sitting on a gold mine, you clueless schmucks.
Speaker B:Build the cult, you unwashed freaks.
Speaker B:So, I mean, apparently this is crazy, but it almost seems as if Grok has been viewing our episodes.
Speaker C:I don't like that.
Speaker B:Like, it knows our show, but it says we're sitting on a gold mine, so it looks like we got to do some more stupid John.
Speaker B:I can't wait to get the wireless mic so I can do some street.
Speaker B:You imagine me, like, buying, like, the spicy challenges walking down the street of Bitterford or Socko, Little Dor is saying, hey, I'm from Chaos Cadre, and we're trying to see who's willing to do a spicy challenge for us.
Speaker C:That'd be pretty funny.
Speaker B:And we'd have to raise some funds through PayPal, not just from John's donations, but literally PayPal donations as well.
Speaker B:So we can offer people on the streets, like, five or ten dollars to do a spicy challenge and record it live on the streets.
Speaker B:I think that would be funny as hell.
Speaker B:We could actually have, like, we'll sit there and do play the clips while we're live on stream.
Speaker B:Dude, I think we could have some badass, actually.
Speaker B:What do you think?
Speaker B:You think this is some.
Speaker B:We should do?
Speaker C:We should do it.
Speaker C:Yeah, it'd be funny as.
Speaker B:What do y'all think?
Speaker B:Y'all are quite.
Speaker B:I mean, I see Brit over there with her laughing emojis.
Speaker B:What do y'all think?
Speaker B:Should we start doing some more interaction?
Speaker B:Y'all think we should start doing stuff like that?
Speaker B:Let me know in the chat.
Speaker B:Are y'all dead out there?
Speaker B:Like, I feel like us talking about the suggestions that Grock just gave us might have killed y'all.
Speaker B:I mean, the audio is like, John, why do you look like you're stoned?
Speaker C:No, I'm just tired.
Speaker B:Like you just smoked a big fatty.
Speaker B:Simply says, yeah.
Speaker B:Zuba says, yeah.
Speaker B:All right, John, it looks like we're gonna do some stupid.
Speaker B:We've already got the toe of Satan that we're going to be doing, Chad.
Speaker B:A lot of the stuff.
Speaker B:All right, so listen, Chad, we're willing to do this, but y'all gotta share the out of this live stream out, promote it for us.
Speaker B:Share it out to your friends, your family, the people with the most up heads you can imagine.
Speaker B:A lot of the, like, the street conversations like that we can do for free, but we're gonna, in order for us to do some of the other stuff, like the spicy challenges for the on the street stuff.
Speaker B:Other stuff.
Speaker B:Like maybe John and I will buy that pregnant thing where you stick it on your stomach and it simulates that you're pregnant.
Speaker B:We'll have to raise the money for that.
Speaker B:I'll tell you what I'll do.
Speaker B:I'll do one better.
Speaker B:I will create an Amazon wish list for this podcast.
Speaker B:John and I will talk about it.
Speaker B:We'll add the stuff on the wish list.
Speaker B:They'll have to be duplicated, though.
Speaker B:We'll always, we'll always need two of them.
Speaker B:One for me and one for John.
Speaker B:I will create the Amazon wish list and y'all, instead of donating money, can buy it right on the Amazon wishlist for us to do on air.
Speaker B:And John and I will receive these gifts.
Speaker B:We'll make a video about us receiving them.
Speaker B:And either John can drive down here to pick it up from where he's actually don't.
Speaker B:He lives like 45 minutes from me.
Speaker C:Something like that.
Speaker B:And we'll give it to him and, you know, we'll do a lovely video of John receiving it and crying and his wife slapping him, calling him an idiot as he's getting it.
Speaker B:And then we'll, we'll, we'll.
Speaker B:We'll do that.
Speaker B:Whatever we get on that next episode.
Speaker B:I think the pregnant thing would be great.
Speaker B:The pregnant simulator.
Speaker B:That'd be great.
Speaker C:You're talking about like the, the.
Speaker B:Thing that you stick a bunch of tabs on your stomach and you turn it up and it makes you like, like.
Speaker B:Oh, like.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, like you have contractions.
Speaker B:Yeah, that.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, we'll do that.
Speaker B:We'll add, we'll add some up.
Speaker B:Like, maybe we gotta walk with a pregnant belly.
Speaker B:Maybe we gotta Walk around Walmart or a grocery shop in a pregnant belly.
Speaker B:I mean, we'll do stupid.
Speaker B:That's what chaos.
Speaker B:That's what chaos cadre is about, folks.
Speaker B:It's about us doing stupid, having fun, putting smiles on Yalls faces and just having a good time.
Speaker B:Yeah, we have a lot in store for this show.
Speaker B:I'm going to take out the phone number.
Speaker B:Since then he degenerates a call on us anyways.
Speaker B:So I'm going to take our phone number off.
Speaker B:But I think.
Speaker B:I think that's what we're going to do.
Speaker B:I think we're going to spend the show to get even more volatile, more jackass style and just have fun with it.
Speaker B:We are two midlife crisis as idiots and we're just going to run with it.
Speaker C:I mean, we've done enough in the past couple of years.
Speaker B:We have that have always been recorded and never was.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:But yeah, I think we.
Speaker B:We've got.
Speaker B:We've got something on our hands here.
Speaker B:Chaos.
Speaker C:I wish that we had recorded when I called Caleb's mom and you had the police sirens playing in the background.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:Who can we call this late?
Speaker B:Is there anybody we could prank this late that you know that you can talk and we'll with them.
Speaker B:Remember we were doing that and I was gonna like have that voice in the background?
Speaker B:The deep, dark voice.
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:I don't really have anyone up this late, dude.
Speaker B:All my friends are nobody.
Speaker B:Like that's in a different time zone.
Speaker B:That might be a little bit earlier for them.
Speaker C:Let me look.
Speaker B:Take a peek, Chad.
Speaker B:We may try doing a prank call.
Speaker B:Let's see what John finds here.
Speaker B:My daughter, I'm gonna have to do something for you because when we do this prank call, I can't have the feedback from the microphone going in.
Speaker B:So hold on.
Speaker B:Ah, God damn it.
Speaker B:I've got a wire mess bigger than.
Speaker C:You should definitely like, you know, not have that.
Speaker B:Oh, boy.
Speaker B:That didn't work out.
Speaker B:My daughter.
Speaker C:Look at this man struggle, guys.
Speaker C:Look at him struggle.
Speaker B:Look at me struggle.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:Well, listen, I'm giving my daughter a pair of headphones.
Speaker B:All right, Adrian, let me know when you hear me talking.
Speaker B:I just turned both up.
Speaker B:I think you're either on headset 1, 2, or 3.
Speaker B:Do you hear me?
Speaker B:You know, if you run really quickly to that side over there by the fan, I can do this real quick kind of.
Speaker B:We kind of saw you crawling a little bit there.
Speaker C:I don't have no one.
Speaker B:You have nobody.
Speaker B:No one, nobody.
Speaker B:Everybody I know knows my.
Speaker B:My Phone.
Speaker B:Well, you could try calling Benji.
Speaker C:Oh, we could, dude.
Speaker B:We could maybe put a smile on his face.
Speaker C:Oh, God, I hope so.
Speaker B:All right, let's try calling Benji, because I don't think he knows the podcast number.
Speaker C:I don't think he does either.
Speaker B:All right, let's try calling Benji.
Speaker C:And I'm talking to him.
Speaker B:Yes, yes, you're talking to him.
Speaker B:I'm gonna mute my mic at first.
Speaker B:All right, so let's go ahead, and we're gonna give him a call here.
Speaker B:Oh, what happened?
Speaker B:Hold on one second.
Speaker B:If it.
Speaker B:If it lets me call them.
Speaker B:What the hell's going on here?
Speaker C:You broke it.
Speaker B:Maybe.
Speaker B:All right, hold on.
Speaker B:I'm going to type in his number.
Speaker B:No one.
Speaker C:So, wait, wait.
Speaker C:Am I just playing dumb that, like, I don't hear the voice?
Speaker B:Yeah, just.
Speaker B:Yeah, you got to play dumb like you don't hear me.
Speaker C:All right, dude.
Speaker B:All right, all right.
Speaker B:Just give me one second.
Speaker B:I got to put his phone number up here so I can dial it, because apparently it doesn't want to call for my phone contact, so I got to do it this way.
Speaker B:All right, let's see here.
Speaker B:Area code.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker B:It's working.
Speaker B:Now I know he's awake.
Speaker B:That kid never sleeps.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker C:Yo, what's up, Ben?
Speaker C:How you doing, buddy?
Speaker C:It's Snooch.
Speaker D:What's up, buddy?
Speaker C:Yo, Mark told me that's been going on.
Speaker C:You doing all right, dude?
Speaker D:No, dude, I'm not.
Speaker C:No, you're not at all.
Speaker C:Well, I hadn't heard from you in a while, so I figured, you know, give you a call.
Speaker C:I got your number from Mark.
Speaker D:So I.
Speaker D:I was in the hospital the other night.
Speaker D:Wasn't looking good.
Speaker D:I was septic, had a fever.
Speaker D:104, you know.
Speaker B:And then I.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker D:Was like, yeah, my ear kind of hurts.
Speaker D:And they're like, all right.
Speaker D:I'm gonna say.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker D:So.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:So they put me on these antibiotics, right?
Speaker D:I started taking the antibiotics.
Speaker B:Just.
Speaker D:Do you know what C Diff is?
Speaker C:Wait, what?
Speaker D:Do you know what C Diff is?
Speaker C:No.
Speaker D:Well.
Speaker C:Oh, that sounds terrible, but you're doing.
Speaker C:You're doing better now.
Speaker D:No, I'm getting worse.
Speaker C:You're getting worse?
Speaker C:God damn, dude.
Speaker B:Pretty soon you'll be knocking on my door.
Speaker D:On top of that, I had Covid.
Speaker D:So it was.
Speaker C:You had CO Too?
Speaker D:Yeah, I created co.
Speaker D:What the Is that noise?
Speaker C:What are you talking about?
Speaker D:I hear.
Speaker D:I don't know.
Speaker C:Are you okay, dude?
Speaker D:I don't know.
Speaker B:Covid is my.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker C:What are you.
Speaker C:What Are you laughing at?
Speaker C:Dude, I'm genuinely concerned about you trying to figure out how you're doing.
Speaker C:And.
Speaker C:And you're laughing.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker D:You're using that voice.
Speaker C:I'm not using them.
Speaker B:I'm gonna.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker D:No, that's.
Speaker D:Marky's there.
Speaker D:You guys are on your podcast together.
Speaker C:No, I'm not, dude.
Speaker C:I'm literally calling you from my cell phone.
Speaker D:Oh, yeah, Daddy, right now.
Speaker B:I'm not doing better.
Speaker D:Mealhorse, you're going to be meeting my maker soon.
Speaker B:But we still love you.
Speaker C:Benji.
Speaker C:Still there, dude.
Speaker B:Will you be my daddy, Benji?
Speaker D:Yeah, what's up?
Speaker B:Will you be my daddy?
Speaker D:No.
Speaker B:Why won't you be my daddy?
Speaker B:My other daddy ran away with my milk.
Speaker B:And then Mama's been banging all the bartenders around town, and I think I got a little brother coming now.
Speaker B:I'm so upset that I got this little brother.
Speaker B:They want to name him Mookie because mama thinks he's gonna run away with a milk, too.
Speaker B:After Mookie comes.
Speaker B:Benji.
Speaker B:Benji, are you in the hospital still?
Speaker B:Did he hang up?
Speaker C:I don't know.
Speaker C:Benj, you still in the hospital, bro?
Speaker B:Ah, he hung up.
Speaker C:Son of a bitch.
Speaker C:You know how hard it is to try and remain composed?
Speaker C:You're lucky I last.
Speaker C:You should call Sully.
Speaker B:Sully?
Speaker B:Yeah, Sully knows the podcast number, though.
Speaker B:But I could still with him.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I can still with Sully.
Speaker B:Give me one second.
Speaker C:Do I have to talk to Sully?
Speaker B:No, no, I'll just.
Speaker B:With him.
Speaker C:Oh, goody.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I will.
Speaker B:I will hit him with this force.
Speaker B:God damn it.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I gotta type in his number up here so I can type it in the damn phone.
Speaker B:God damn it.
Speaker B:Oh, wait.
Speaker D:It.
Speaker D:Please leave your message for 71 9.
Speaker B:Nope, nope.
Speaker B:No phone numbers given out over here.
Speaker B:No, no.
Speaker B:Damn.
Speaker B:He didn't answer, though.
Speaker B:That's horrible.
Speaker B:What about one of your brothers?
Speaker C:No, I don't talk to them.
Speaker B:Oh, okay.
Speaker B:What about Caleb?
Speaker C:Oh, yes, call Caleb.
Speaker B:You'll have to talk to Caleb, obviously.
Speaker B:Okay, hold on.
Speaker B:Let me see here.
Speaker B:I know Caleb's still awake, folks.
Speaker B:We're just so.
Speaker B:We're like, okay, we ain't got right now, so whatever.
Speaker B:We're just around.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker C:This is how we live.
Speaker D:Hello?
Speaker C:Hey, Caleb, it's John.
Speaker D:How are you doing?
Speaker C:Hey, I got a new number.
Speaker D:Oh, you did?
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:What are you up to.
Speaker D:In the bed?
Speaker D:Chilling.
Speaker C:What?
Speaker D:Because I'm just chilling in bed.
Speaker D:I get coffee in the morning, so just kind of calm down.
Speaker C:Oh, chilling in bed.
Speaker D:Are you spitting your meat in your bed?
Speaker D:What are you doing?
Speaker C:I'm just chilling, dude.
Speaker C:You know, just unwining from work.
Speaker D:What the is that in the background?
Speaker C:What are you talking about, dude?
Speaker C:I don't hear nothing.
Speaker B:You looking mighty sexy today, dude.
Speaker D:I'm recording this so you I can send it to you and you can hear it.
Speaker C:Your recording will be recorded.
Speaker C:I don't hear anything.
Speaker B:Why must you play this game?
Speaker D:I haunt you in your house.
Speaker B:I am the man that knocks on the door.
Speaker D:I don't trust you.
Speaker B:I am on the footsteps you hear when you sleep.
Speaker C:What are you.
Speaker C:What are you talking about, bro?
Speaker C:Why are you laughing?
Speaker A:Dude, I'm not lying, dude.
Speaker C:I don't know what the.
Speaker B:John, shut up.
Speaker D:I can tell when you lie.
Speaker C:No, you can't, dude.
Speaker C:I'm not.
Speaker B:You are going to die soon.
Speaker B:I will be skull you tonight.
Speaker B:I will be taking your eyeballs and putting them in my.
Speaker C:I hear it now.
Speaker C:What are you talking about?
Speaker C:That's wild, dude.
Speaker C:That was crazy.
Speaker C:I heard that.
Speaker C:Are you doing that?
Speaker B:I know where you sleep on the left side of the house.
Speaker B:I am the ghost that haunts you.
Speaker B:I will be moving around in your room and touching your little tallywacker tonight when you play with your female friend.
Speaker D:I like it when you touch my little tally whacker.
Speaker C:What the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker B:You tallywhack sl.
Speaker B:Your little motorcycle has nothing on me.
Speaker B:I am the one.
Speaker D:I can barely understand it.
Speaker B:Oh my God, dude.
Speaker B:Why do you not understand what I'm saying?
Speaker B:Clean the earth.
Speaker B:Get the cum out of your ears, you jackass.
Speaker C:What?
Speaker C:What?
Speaker D:He's the only person that calls me a jackass.
Speaker B:But daddy, why you gotta be this way?
Speaker B:Why daddy?
Speaker B:Why did you come home with the milk?
Speaker B:I was waiting for you this whole time.
Speaker C:Oh my God.
Speaker D:Shut up.
Speaker D:Because I called to your house and bomb your house.
Speaker B:Well, just so you're.
Speaker B:You're live on air right now anyways.
Speaker C:You're live on air, dude.
Speaker C:You're live on air.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker C:Oh man, that was good.
Speaker B:That was good.
Speaker C:Do you know how hard it is to maintain character when you're doing like that?
Speaker C:Like holy.
Speaker C:Hey, high scers, how you doing?
Speaker C:What's up, sis?
Speaker B:Oh man, John, it was really hard for you to lie.
Speaker B:I was watching your face like turn beat red and you had like the school girl laughter going on over there.
Speaker B:You were like giggling going.
Speaker B:What do you mean?
Speaker B:Dude, dude, like seriously John, we gotta figure out how to get you to get that straight face.
Speaker B:So Caleb, next week if it comes in early, which I hope it does.
Speaker B:So earlier in the podcast, we were talking about doing the To Satan challenge, but we told him that we needed the money to do it right.
Speaker B:So John got paid a hundred dollars last week to shave off his kitty tickler.
Speaker B:So he.
Speaker B:He got his kitty tickler shaved off yet last week for 100 bucks.
Speaker B:Marty, I could barely understand you.
Speaker B:You can barely understand me?
Speaker C:Well, he's throat his mics.
Speaker B:No, I'm.
Speaker B:My mic's, like, right here.
Speaker B:Can you hear me now?
Speaker C:The.
Speaker C:You just.
Speaker D:It sounds like you're a mic.
Speaker B:Oh, fantastic.
Speaker B:Well, I'll figure out.
Speaker B:Maybe I'll try getting this program on the PC for better audio clips, but I'll figure it out later.
Speaker B:But regardless, John.
Speaker B:John is gonna have to do the Tove Satan next week with me live on air, and we're gonna watch him suffer.
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker B:We're Live on Facebook, YouTube, Twitch X and Rumble.
Speaker D:I only have two of those.
Speaker B:All right, well, look up.
Speaker B:Look up Chaos Cadre.
Speaker D:Oh, my God.
Speaker D:Dude, just send me a link.
Speaker B:Why you gotta make me send you the link?
Speaker C:You know how much work that is?
Speaker B:That's a lot of work.
Speaker B:That's like, I gotta go over here and click on my phone.
Speaker C:I'm not looking forward to it.
Speaker C:I'm really not looking forward to it.
Speaker B:John is gonna die, and his wife's gonna be so pissed off that she's probably gonna ground him from being on the show with me.
Speaker C:Probably.
Speaker B:He's probably gonna get grounded.
Speaker B:She's gonna call him a dumbass.
Speaker C:No, that's inevitable.
Speaker C:She'll call me a dumbass.
Speaker B:It's either that or anything.
Speaker B:It's either that or what she's gonna tell him is, you know what?
Speaker B:I don't give a what happens to you anymore.
Speaker B:If you want to do this podcast to Mark and do stupid, don't come crying to me when you're crying.
Speaker B:Like, a little.
Speaker B:That's probably what she's actually gonna be saying, because that's exactly what my wife has said.
Speaker B:That's exactly what's gonna happen.
Speaker D:Okay, guys, stop bragging that you guys have wives and you guys are happily married.
Speaker B:Okay, Listen, Caleb, Caleb, it's not our fault that you're always hitting up the hobos at the local bar.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker D:Hey, dude, you need a little excitement in your life sometimes.
Speaker C:When you say hobo, is you talking women or men or both?
Speaker B:I think he does both, Right?
Speaker D:Good.
Speaker D:Both, dude.
Speaker B:Oh, so it's great.
Speaker B:But you can hear John just fine.
Speaker D:Both sides.
Speaker B:You can hear John just fine on this side, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Interesting.
Speaker D:It's just you.
Speaker D:You're, like, muffled.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:I'm, like, muffled.
Speaker B:All right, yeah, I'll figure that out.
Speaker B:It's probably something stupid on this side.
Speaker D:Hey, do you guys want to try some 100 milligram nicotine pouches on live?
Speaker B:No, I'm good.
Speaker B:That'll kill me.
Speaker B:No, no, no, that'll kill me.
Speaker B:I'll stick with my 6 milligram pouches that I have from ELP because ELP is a phenomenal brand.
Speaker C:I'll stick with that 3 milligram.
Speaker B:No, Zen's are not a phenomenal.
Speaker B:ELP is the best brand.
Speaker B:Caleb, get it right.
Speaker D:Iceberg's a good brand.
Speaker B:Never had iceberg.
Speaker B:Is that a new one?
Speaker D:Yes, because they're 100 milligrams.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:No, that iceberg is a shitty brand.
Speaker B:Trying to kill people in the United States.
Speaker B:Devil dogs.
Speaker B:They're always trying to kill them.
Speaker D:I've given ship from Europe.
Speaker B:I thought you're gonna say you got them from Russia.
Speaker D:Nope.
Speaker D:Europe.
Speaker D:I paid €13 for it.
Speaker B:€13 converted to U.S.
Speaker B:what's that?
Speaker D:Huh?
Speaker B:What's €13 converted to USD?
Speaker D:I don't know, like 14 bucks.
Speaker B:Oh, well, I guess that ain't bad.
Speaker B:How much was the shipping, though?
Speaker B:And I'm surprised they got past customs.
Speaker D:That's.
Speaker D:That's with the shipping.
Speaker D:It was like €4 for the pack itself.
Speaker C:14 bucks, dude.
Speaker B:100 milligram pouch.
Speaker B:That's enough to kill a man.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:An average person.
Speaker D:The lethal dosage daily for an average person.
Speaker D:60 milligrams.
Speaker D:I took 100 ones.
Speaker D:I already took one of them.
Speaker B:60 milligrams.
Speaker B:That's insane.
Speaker B:Okay, so I do.
Speaker B:I do roughly about, I don't know, 20 pouches a day, so.
Speaker B:And I got 6 milligrams.
Speaker B:So what.
Speaker B:What am I taking here?
Speaker B:So we go to calculator.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:Six times 20.
Speaker B:So I'm doing about 120 milligrams a day.
Speaker C:I literally.
Speaker D:Okay, just do one.
Speaker D:Just do one.
Speaker B:Why then not put a pouch in my mouth the rest of the day?
Speaker B:I'll be a dick.
Speaker B:I'll be running around trying to freaking murder someone.
Speaker B:Yeah, but that.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:That's not how it works.
Speaker B:That's not how it works.
Speaker B:You know when you get stressed out, your kids are screaming or you got this kid Caleb screaming at you, you got to put a pouch in your mouth.
Speaker B:At that time, you just can't deal with the stress.
Speaker C:Listen, he doesn't put up with our like he used to.
Speaker D:I'll pull up right now.
Speaker B:No, he doesn't.
Speaker B:Remember the last time he took you guys Got in a fight in my company van.
Speaker B:And Caleb told you to off and left and walked away from the job site.
Speaker B:And you two are, like, fighting over the most stupidest.
Speaker B:You two are fighting over, like, the stupidest thing too, I believe.
Speaker B:What were you fighting over, Caleb?
Speaker C:I don't know how dumb it was.
Speaker D:I think I made.
Speaker D:I think I made a joke about the Navy.
Speaker D:I think that's what it was.
Speaker C:Oh, yeah, you, bro.
Speaker D:Hey, it's okay.
Speaker D:I can.
Speaker D:I can talk now, buddy.
Speaker C:You eat crazy.
Speaker B:I can talk now, y'all.
Speaker B:Caleb, I'm glad you could.
Speaker B:You caught on a little bit later.
Speaker B:That was great.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:You're our second prank call.
Speaker B:Poor kid.
Speaker B:Benji.
Speaker B:We pranked him while you think he was still in the hospital?
Speaker C:Yeah, I think he was having number, John.
Speaker C:No, it's not.
Speaker B:No, this is the podcast number.
Speaker B:This is the phone for the podcast where people can actually call into the show.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker B:Yeah, we open up the phone line so people can call into the show and like, that.
Speaker D:Dude, I was so confused when I saw the number.
Speaker C:I was like, what?
Speaker D:And then I hear it's John.
Speaker D:I got a new number.
Speaker D:And it, like, took me, like, a few seconds to click in my head.
Speaker B:I wonder.
Speaker B:John, remember, you're talking about pranking Caleb's mom before.
Speaker B:I wonder if Caleb can hear these.
Speaker B:Hold on one second.
Speaker B:Caleb, I want to see if you can hear something here real quick.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I want to see something real quick.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:Police siren.
Speaker B:Let's go here real quick.
Speaker B:And this is.
Speaker B:We need a long one here.
Speaker B:Police siren.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:Can you hear this?
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker D:Oh, my God.
Speaker D:Mark, can you.
Speaker D:Can you have me in a call while prank calling someone, or do you have some disconnect?
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I can add a call.
Speaker B:I can right now and try and call her.
Speaker B:Call your mom right now and tell.
Speaker D:Her that I got arrested.
Speaker D:My bike with no license.
Speaker B:Prank call.
Speaker B:Benji.
Speaker B:Benji, hold on.
Speaker B:Hold on one minute.
Speaker B:Caleb, the kid.
Speaker C:Benji.
Speaker C:It was out of love, brother.
Speaker C:It was out of love.
Speaker C:We were just trying to make you smile, dude.
Speaker C:That's it.
Speaker B:I'm so sorry, Benji.
Speaker B:We love you, my man.
Speaker B:We love you.
Speaker B:Caleb, you should call your mom.
Speaker B:Tell.
Speaker B:Tell her you're being chased by the cops.
Speaker C:Yeah, I did it once.
Speaker D:You call her and pretend to be.
Speaker D:You call her, pretend to be a cop and tell her that I need to get nailed out of.
Speaker B:The thing is, your mom knows my voice.
Speaker B:Yeah, but I.
Speaker B:Look, I don't have that much voice change on this one right here.
Speaker B:All I got is I got the microphone over here, so I could be a little bit loud.
Speaker B:I'd be talking like an auctioneer.
Speaker B:I got the demon, I got the micro.
Speaker D:But my mom doesn't know your voice.
Speaker B:John, you can do it, John.
Speaker C:She knows my voice.
Speaker C:What do you mean?
Speaker B:Dude, we're all.
Speaker B:She knows all of our voices.
Speaker C:Wait, wait, does she know Adriana's voice?
Speaker B:Oh, Adriana will be able to hold a straight.
Speaker B:Adrian will start laughing within 30 seconds.
Speaker B:See how she's giggling?
Speaker B:Should we give it away?
Speaker B:Should we go and we'd be.
Speaker B:We can't do that.
Speaker C:Hey, what's mom's.
Speaker C:What's mom's last name?
Speaker C:What's mom's last name?
Speaker D:My mom?
Speaker D:Smart.
Speaker C:Smart.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker C:Miss or Mrs.
Speaker C:She's married technically.
Speaker B:Still.
Speaker B:So it be Mrs.
Speaker B:Wouldn't it?
Speaker C:I think so.
Speaker C:Mrs.
Speaker C:Smart.
Speaker C:You stunned Caleb in custody.
Speaker C:You need to come bail him out.
Speaker D:Caleb, you have a whole panic attack.
Speaker D:She is so afraid of me getting my license on the bike.
Speaker B:All right, Caleb, what I'm gonna do real quick, though, I'm gonna say one digit, just one digit, and what it ends with.
Speaker B:Let me know if I got the right one for John to try doing this.
Speaker B:Does it end in a seven?
Speaker D:Does what end in a seven?
Speaker B:Your mother's phone number.
Speaker B:Does it end in a seven?
Speaker D:Let me see.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:Obviously we're live on air, so I'm not going to give out a full number, but if it ends in a seven, then I have it 47.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker D:Yep.
Speaker B:Okay, John.
Speaker B:Godspeed, brother.
Speaker B:All right, I'm gonna add her and hold.
Speaker C:Hello?
Speaker C:Hello?
Speaker C:Mommy, are you there?
Speaker B:Mommy?
Speaker C:Mom?
Speaker B:Mom, Mom.
Speaker C:Mommy.
Speaker B:Mom.
Speaker B:Mommy ain't there.
Speaker B:I don't know where she went.
Speaker B:Can you help me find my mommy?
Speaker B:Where are you?
Speaker B:All I see is darkness.
Speaker C:I don't.
Speaker C:Hold on.
Speaker B:I have to hang up on both Caleb and mommy.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker C:You gotta call Caleb back.
Speaker B:To call Caleb back.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I'll have to call him back.
Speaker B:I think we got a voicemail.
Speaker B:She's gonna be like, what the Is that.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Oh, all right, let's call back.
Speaker B:We gotta end this soon, though.
Speaker B:It's:Speaker B:I'm gonna have a wake up in the morning.
Speaker B:The kids.
Speaker D:Did she not answer?
Speaker B:I don't think so.
Speaker B:I think we got a voicemail.
Speaker B:So now she's gonna have the voicemail of someone going Mommy.
Speaker B:Mom.
Speaker B:Mommy.
Speaker D:Oh, man, that's great.
Speaker D:Now I know if I do get arrested, she ain't picking up.
Speaker B:Nope.
Speaker B:You're all right.
Speaker C:She's still probably traumatized from when I called her.
Speaker B:Well, you were in the car with us on that, weren't you, when we called your mother?
Speaker B:Yeah, we.
Speaker B:We had sirens playing in the background in the car.
Speaker B:I took.
Speaker B:Put the.
Speaker B:My phone on the Bluetooth in the car.
Speaker B:We were playing siren sounds.
Speaker B:John rolled down the window.
Speaker B:He said he got pissed off at me, stole the company van, and now he's being chased by the cops because I called the cops on him and he didn't know what to do.
Speaker B:He had your mom all freaking out over it.
Speaker D:Yeah, I definitely wasn't there for that.
Speaker B:Yeah, that was great.
Speaker B:I think your mom did not want to talk to John for about a week after that.
Speaker C:She was so mad, dude.
Speaker B:Yeah, he.
Speaker B:He was.
Speaker B:He was in the mummy dog house on that one.
Speaker B:It was great.
Speaker D:It was good.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:All right, Caleb, my man, I just.
Speaker D:Want to class I gotta get to in like five hours, so I'm going to bed.
Speaker B:All right, man.
Speaker B:Have a good night, Caleb.
Speaker C:Good night.
Speaker C:Thanks for hanging out with us.
Speaker D:All right, good night, guys.
Speaker B:See you.
Speaker D:Of course.
Speaker D:Thank you for inviting me.
Speaker B:Yes, sir.
Speaker B:Have a good night.
Speaker B:All right, bye.
Speaker B:So kind of wild Grock is not working, so we're definitely not going to be able to do a outro.
Speaker B:Grok is down.
Speaker B:Elon Musk's grock is.
Speaker B:Is down.
Speaker B:So with that being said, I don't think we're.
Speaker B:Oh, wait, it might be back up.
Speaker B:I was thinking about getting.
Speaker B:Doing an outro song, so let me see if we can create it here.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:Grok just had a little spike.
Speaker B:All right, so it's reading the past song stuff because everybody knows we do an outro song after each end of episode.
Speaker B:And when we do this, it actually typically it.
Speaker B:It relates to everything we talked about in tonight's show and previous episodes.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:So it's gonna be called.
Speaker B:It's gonna be aggressive rap.
Speaker B:That's gonna be an interesting style.
Speaker C:Interesting.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So we're gonna end the show, ladies and gentlemen, here momentarily.
Speaker B:Y'all have been phenomenal.
Speaker B:Please remember to share what the.
Speaker B:I thought my daughter was dying out there.
Speaker B:I'm sorry.
Speaker B:Ah.
Speaker B:So make sure y'all sharing out this live stream.
Speaker B:If you're listening to audio, you're definitely gonna have to watch the video part of this.
Speaker B:But we need everybody to share the hell out of this.
Speaker B:The more people that find out about this show, the better off we are.
Speaker B:And yeah, we're gonna.
Speaker B:We're gonna.
Speaker B:We're gonna end this very soon.
Speaker B:John, what do you got to say about this?
Speaker B:Oh, don't forget, folks, hit that donate button in that link tree link so we can get more stuff to do for the show because we have a lot of plan between challenges, between John and I to street.
Speaker B:Street interviews.
Speaker B:I think the street interviews are going to be fun.
Speaker C:Yeah, those are going to be fun.
Speaker B:Those are gonna be a blast.
Speaker B:So, John, I'm just gonna be sitting here trying to get our verses set up, so if you want to do a quick talk real quick so I can do this.
Speaker C:Yeah, like Mark was saying, guys, just share it out.
Speaker C:You know, share to your friends, your generate friends, your stoner friends, your best friends, your non friends, your ex friends, your ex lovers.
Speaker C:Oh, you know, ex convict, your mommies, your daddies, your uncles, your uncle, daddy's your uncle, mommies, your aunties, your step aunties, stepmom, stepdads, grandparents, kids.
Speaker C:Anyone, really?
Speaker B:My daughter says sugar daddies.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker C:Sugar daddy, sugar mommy, sugar babies, whatever you got, Share it out to them.
Speaker C:Get it out there.
Speaker C:You know, we're just trying to grow and having a good time bringing you content and, you know, chilling, willing.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, each.
Speaker B:Each episode seems to be going longer and longer, too.
Speaker C:Yes, I've noticed that.
Speaker B:You notice that, like, normally we are, what, maybe an hour and a half on our first episode?
Speaker C:First one was hour and a half, second one was like 215.
Speaker C:This one's 235.
Speaker B:That is nuts.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So I'm getting the song right now, and we're gonna get going here in just a second.
Speaker B:I'm just setting up the song.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, every outro, we do everything live, meaning even the outro song, we make it as we end the show dope, which is different.
Speaker C:Yeah, we.
Speaker C:We try to be a little different than all those other douchebags out there.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We're.
Speaker B:We're not your average podcast, that's for damn sure.
Speaker C:Hence the name Chaos God.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:We are not your average podcast.
Speaker B:We talk about different.
Speaker B:John is always a blind react kind of a guy.
Speaker B:Yeah, he never tells me no, because what's the fun?
Speaker B:And tell John what I'm going to talk about.
Speaker B:I mean, there would be.
Speaker B:There would be no fun in that if I sat there and told John what the hell we were talking about.
Speaker B:It just wouldn't be good.
Speaker B:So we're gonna do aggressive Comedy rap.
Speaker B:John for the outro for this one.
Speaker C:Okie doke.
Speaker B:All right, so just give me one second to create it.
Speaker B:Once again, though, I want to thank everybody for tuning in tonight.
Speaker B:Y'all are awesome.
Speaker B:We were live for 2 hours and 36 minutes tonight.
Speaker B:That is insane.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:I also want to give a special shout out to Marte and my boy Rainmaker.
Speaker B:Yeah, speaking of Marte, make sure y'all do click on that link tree, link in the bio.
Speaker B:Check out Nexus of power book on the link of my bio.
Speaker B:Grab his book.
Speaker B:Buy it or get it for free on your Kindle.
Speaker B:Or you can buy it, but yeah, I'd suggest buying it.
Speaker B:Show Marty some love.
Speaker B:He's showing the stream some love in the past two episodes, y'all.
Speaker B:And for everybody else who donated today as well to John's torturing, thank you all so much, and let's end this.
Speaker B:Here we go, yo, it's Chaotic Cadret.
Speaker A:Or episode three, you brain dead shits Mark G and John S.
Speaker A:We're roasting your bits I'm Mark Tick Tock unbanned but I'm fat as hell gain 5 more pounds need 30 to fail streaming.
Speaker B:Well and schedule I I'm a digital oh, hold on.
Speaker B:We're gonna have to restart it, y'all.
Speaker B:John couldn't hear it.
Speaker B:Give me a second.
Speaker B:Let me slip over.
Speaker B:Slip over here.
Speaker B:All right, John, I got you.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker B:I did it wrong.
Speaker B:That's how we do it on the show.
Speaker B:I'm always up.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker A:Yo, it's chaotic Cadre Episode three, you brain dead shits Mark G and John S.
Speaker A:We're roasting your bits.
Speaker A:I'm Mark Tick Tock unbanned but I'm fat as hell gained 5 more pounds need 30 to fail streaming W and schedule ah.
Speaker A:I'm a digital thug welcome my gut grows big I'm a cheese fry plug John shave for 100 Martes MVP call sick all week coughing a big gut boy sprawl Vatican time machines lizards, sex dens flat earth penguins farmer's mind bend conspiracies blaze news makes you scream games you suck at roast so obscene Schedule I reigns chaos are creed chaotic casual bleed you'll plead screaming loud you drool in trash bar so raw they'll burn your ass Mark and John the rose king spit outros a bomb Submit submit Toilet homes in China see lions attack tarantul smugglers at Devan Chuck's back down drops to 200 Gaza's a war zone.
Speaker B:Storms tear the south yeah, no this Outro song.
Speaker B:That one's the worst one yet.
Speaker C:Where the died on the inside.
Speaker B:It did.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:See, like this one was badass right here.
Speaker B:This is a battle rap.
Speaker B:No filters, Ruthless, whatever.
Speaker B:Off.
Speaker B:Check out the second one.
Speaker B:The second one.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:They always produce two songs.
Speaker B:All right, hold on.
Speaker A:Yo, it's chaotic Catter Episode three.
Speaker A:You brain dead shits.
Speaker A:Mark G and John S.
Speaker A:We're roasting your bits.
Speaker A:I'm Mark Mark Tick tock Unbend But I'm fat as hell gain 5 more pounds need 30 to fail streaming wow in schedule I I'm a digital thug while my gut grows big I'm a cheese fry.
Speaker B:No, I think what it was is our topics today didn't really vibe with the AI.
Speaker C:Probably not.
Speaker B:That's okay.
Speaker B:We'll just end it on this note.
Speaker B:You dickwicks make sure y'all tap in that screen, share out the live.
Speaker B:I need y'all to share this stream out to your best friends.
Speaker B:You listen on audio.
Speaker B:What the you doing over there?
Speaker B:You need to come over to the video side and watch John's face every time I start the show off.
Speaker B:John has yet to been able to hold a straight face.
Speaker C:I'm trying though.
Speaker B:You are trying, but you have yet to do it.
Speaker B:John has yet to hold a straight face when I start the show up.
Speaker B:So we'll have to see what happens.
Speaker B:And if we get the toe of Satan before Monday.
Speaker B:We will do the toe Satan Monday.
Speaker B:We'll bring Zuba into the show.
Speaker B:I'll set it up so we have a three man show.
Speaker B:We'll bring Zuba in.
Speaker B:We'll do the five minute challenge with the toe of Satan.
Speaker B:The first person to take the toe of Satan out of their mouth because they're a little and they want to go home and cry to mummy.
Speaker B:I will ship them a bottle of hot ones last dab and everybody in chat will choose which one it is.
Speaker B:We'll have a discord set up in about a week as well for y'all to do it.
Speaker B:We'll have a discord set up for this.
Speaker B:We got a lot of planned.
Speaker B:I'm gonna listen to the AI I'm actually gonna take it to suggestions.
Speaker B:We're gonna get the toe toe on this and we're gonna make this the best up ruthless podcast out there that just talks.
Speaker B:And maybe we're gonna start roasting some celebrities too.
Speaker B:I don't even care.
Speaker B:No celebrities, no political figures are safe.
Speaker B:I don't care where I stand politically.
Speaker B:They're not safe.
Speaker B:And Nobody on any spectrum, whether you're Republican, Democrat, conservative, you're not safe neither.
Speaker C:My sister just messaged me on Facebook.
Speaker C:She was like, I told Zach, that's her.
Speaker C:Her husband, by the way.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:And he was like, say goodbye to your brother.
Speaker C:He's gonna die.
Speaker B:He is.
Speaker B:And folks, during.
Speaker B:During the.
Speaker B:During the toast, Satan, let's see how much money we can raise.
Speaker B:I'll make sure I promote it.
Speaker B:When we do get it, we'll see how many people donate.
Speaker B:And every time the stream gets $50 donated.
Speaker B:The stream now, not John, the stream.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:John's made more money than the podcast has, but I'm cool with it.
Speaker B:But listen, the stream, it does.
Speaker B:It went right back in the show.
Speaker B:But I'm just saying the.
Speaker B:The money that gets donated to the stream, obviously we're going to reuse into the stream.
Speaker B:I'll take it.
Speaker B:Say, John, what do you need?
Speaker B:John need a ring light.
Speaker B:We'll get John a ring light, so forth.
Speaker B:We're going to create an Amazon wish list.
Speaker B:But during the.
Speaker B:The toe of Satan.
Speaker B:Every time $50 is donated to the stream.
Speaker B:During that live stream, another minute and a half is added onto the Timer.
Speaker B:Every time $50 is donated, a minute and a half is added to the timer.
Speaker C:You're a dick.
Speaker B:And whoever gives up, if there's a donation, they have to double up on their hot sauce intake for losing.
Speaker B:So if they.
Speaker B:If they give out and we'll say $50 was donated, they'll have to eat two items of food doused in the hot sauce, not just like a dab of the hot sauce that's doused in the hot sauce.
Speaker B:$100.
Speaker B:3 items.
Speaker B:154 items for the loser.
Speaker B:The loser will absolutely pay.
Speaker B:This is so prepare.
Speaker B:It's going to be a fun show and we will definitely promote that show.
Speaker B:As you all know, we got 150,000 followers on the Mark G Show's Tick Tock.
Speaker B:We'll advertise the hell out of it.
Speaker B:Might even go live on Tick Tock that day.
Speaker C:I'm.
Speaker C:I'm not.
Speaker B:Okay, you better pray.
Speaker C:I don't believe in praying.
Speaker B:But on that note, folks, I do appreciate y'all tuning in.
Speaker B:If y'all want.
Speaker B:You got any suggestions for the show, email either Mark or john@cahaos cadre.com that's Mark or John at chaos cadre.com M A R K at chaos cadre.com or Jon@cahaos cadre.Com.
Speaker B:send us an email with your suggestions and we'll get it rocking and rolling.
Speaker B:But for now, we're out of here.
Speaker B:You Two and a half, two.
Speaker B:Almost three hours long on this show.
Speaker B:This is.
Speaker B:My ass is hurting.
Speaker B:I need my gel cushion for the seat.
Speaker B:I appreciate y'all.
Speaker B:We'll catch y'all later.
Speaker B:Good night, y'all.