Prepare yourselves for a tumultuous evening on Chaos Cadre Episode 6, airing live tonight, April 28, 2025, at 9:45 PM EST. In a revelatory moment, co-hosts Mark G and John S will subject the new arrival, Shiny, to a trial by fire as she attempts to endure the infamous 9 million Scoville Satan’s Toe lollipop. We shall traverse the chaotic landscape of contemporary news, including Europe’s pervasive blackout crisis, Auzzy Blood’s audacious spectacle on Britain’s Got Talent, and a surreal assortment of unhinged stories, such as a Floridian surfing a shopping cart and a Texan woman attempting to immolate a mailbox. Additionally, our audience will bear witness to scathing roasts directed at viewers Rainmaker006 and Benjionwheel, promising to elicit tears of laughter. We also encourage our listeners to contribute their most outrageous questions and dares via Discord, ensuring an interactive experience that embodies the essence of chaos. Join us at http://chaoscadre.com, follow our audacious antics on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/chaoscadre/, or access my Linktree at https://linktr.ee/themarkgshow. Embrace the madness, dear listeners.
Get ready for a shitstorm on Chaos Cadre Episode 6, LIVE tonight, April 28, 2025, at 9:45 PM EST—Mark G and John S roast new co-host Shiny into next week as she chokes on the 9 mil Scoville Satan’s Toe lollipop! We’re diving into Europe’s blackout madness, Auzzy Blood’s nail-up-the-nose BGT freakshow, Trump’s auto-pen meltdown, and 20 unhinged news stories—like a Florida guy surfing a cart and a Texas chick torching a mailbox! Viewer roasts of Rainmaker006 and Benjionwheel will leave ‘em in tears, plus we’re calling for your Discord ideas to fuck us up with man on the street questions and dares! Catch it at http://chaoscadre.com, stalk https://www.facebook.com/chaoscadre/ or hit my Linktree https://linktr.ee/themarkgshow — join the chaos, you freaks! #ChaosCadre #SatanToeChallenge #WeirdNews #RoastRants #live #podcast #fun #funny #lol
Takeaways:
- In Episode 6 of Chaos Cadre, we humorously explore the absurdity of a new co-host, Shiny, being subjected to the extreme challenge of the 9 million Scoville Satan’s Toe lollipop amidst chaotic commentary.
- The episode dives deeply into Europe’s recent blackout crisis, highlighting the societal impacts and reactions to such an unexpected event, drawing parallels with potential situations in the United States.
- We witness a bizarre yet entertaining segment where two Discord users are roasted mercilessly, showcasing the show’s unapologetic approach to humor and audience interaction.
- The hosts engage in a lively discussion about unconventional news stories, such as a Florida man surfing on a shopping cart, emphasizing the absurdity and humor found in everyday life.
Transcript
Hi, my name is John S.
Speaker A:And I'm a gain sexual.
Speaker B:One's a grunt, one's a squid talking trash like a couple of kids.
Speaker B:No script, no plan, just running their mouths.
Speaker B:If you don't like chaos, better tap out.
Speaker C:We got bad jokes, worst taste, eating.
Speaker B:Like trash, saying what we think.
Speaker B:No filter, no clue, no rules, no shame.
Speaker B:If it don't make sense, who's to blame?
Speaker B:Not us.
Speaker B:So grab a beer, sit back, don't stress.
Speaker B:It's just two dumb vets making a mess.
Speaker B:Oh yeah baby, I'm hard as a rock.
Speaker B:Welcome to Chaos Cadre Episode A.
Speaker B:Bill.
Speaker B:Wait, my bad.
Speaker B:Episode 6 what's going on?
Speaker B:I'm RG a hot sauce chugging X Army train wreck who's so pathetic I've turned my five kids into a circus act.
Speaker B:I'm a second amendment nut who'd rather fish than admit I'm a washed up Twitch streamer with the charisma of a soggy sock.
Speaker B:I lose a firefight to a goddamn goldfish.
Speaker B:I'm the guy who'd get dumped by his own reflection for being too clingy.
Speaker B:A sweaty gun humping disaster who's one bad day from staring at a Dateline special.
Speaker B:You hopeless male breathing.
Speaker B:Then there is my lovely co host Jonass.
Speaker A:Hi, my name is John S.
Speaker A:And I'm a game sexual.
Speaker B:Don't forget he's a pickle obsessed navy vet who's such a whiny he'd faint at a paperclip.
Speaker B:This trampoline arcade reject looks like he's been gargling expired ranch since the 90s.
Speaker B:He'd get outsmarted by a Roomba.
Speaker B:He's the kind of guy who would trip over his vape cloud and cry for mummy.
Speaker B:A talentless Twitch wannabe who'd get rejected by Glory hole for being too needy.
Speaker B:You snot dripping bounce house.
Speaker B:And now our new co host.
Speaker B:You know Shiny, a 52 year old.
Speaker B:52 year old cougar who's joined this shit show tonight.
Speaker B:She's eating the Satan's toe and 9 million Scoville unit hellfire chili lollipop that'll burn her crusty ass this twice divorce hag, a thrift store clearance rack, two daughters, one knocked up by a gas station cashier.
Speaker B:She's a fucking 30 something after breaking in a 20 something.
Speaker B:A granny riding a dick since the moon landing.
Speaker B:You alien chasing SK That Satan's toe's gonna melt your face.
Speaker B:You whiny sage burning cunt striping for conspiracy news games and roast this is chaos cadre to all you fucking freaks.
Speaker B:But listen, we also have a special kind of part on the show for our for our viewers.
Speaker B:And it's time for our viewer row segment where we shred two of you Discord dipshits who dare to tune in.
Speaker B:First up is his rainmaker, 006.
Speaker B:What kind of name is that, you pretentious little twat?
Speaker B:Sounds like you're trying to be a.
Speaker B:But the only thing you're making is a mess in your mom's basement.
Speaker B:I Bet you're a 40 year old virgin who role plays as a weatherman on Discord.
Speaker B:Jerking off to cloud emojis while you whisper drizzle me daddy to your inflatable storm cloud girlfriend.
Speaker B:You're probably sitting there in the stained wizard room pretending you can summon rain, but the only thing you're summoning is a restraining order from your neighbor's cat.
Speaker B:Stop trying to make it rain, you delusional Come staying meteorologist wannabe.
Speaker B:You're a fucking embarrassment.
Speaker B:Next we've got fucking Benji on wheels.
Speaker B:Oh, Benji, you Call of Duty playing wheelchair rolling disaster.
Speaker B:You've been whining since I roasted you last time.
Speaker B:Back when you were choking on your own gamer age.
Speaker B:But now we know the real story.
Speaker B:You're in that chair cause the COVID vaccine fucked you up.
Speaker B:Look at you, a living anti vax billboard, rolling around like a discount Stephen Hawking.
Speaker B:But instead of solving physics, you're solving how to get your ass handed to you in COD lobbies.
Speaker B:I bet you blame every lag spike on the vaccine screaming Pfizer fucked my ping while you're a teabag by a 12 year old.
Speaker B:You're out here trash talking online, but the only thing you're wheeling away is a ban for toxicity.
Speaker B:Keep rolling you vaccine damage COD sucking wheelchair warrior.
Speaker B:You're a fucking glitch in the goddamn Matrix.
Speaker B:Tune in next week when we roast more of your pathetic little fucks.
Speaker B:Don't miss it.
Speaker B:What is going on?
Speaker B:John and Shai, how are both of y'all doing today?
Speaker A:I'm great.
Speaker D:So, so gonna get banned at some point.
Speaker D:Jesus.
Speaker A:I guarantee we're not gonna make it to episode 10.
Speaker B:Are we betting on episode 10?
Speaker B:Is that what it is?
Speaker B:Episode 10?
Speaker D:I want a competition the next time you do your rant to see who between John and I breaks first for laughing.
Speaker B:That'd be a good yeah.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Just like I don't know.
Speaker D:What can we do?
Speaker A:I don't have any brain.
Speaker B:That was great.
Speaker B:Poor Benji.
Speaker B:I hope Benji tuned in.
Speaker B:Hope Benji was able to see his roast.
Speaker B:I warned him.
Speaker B:I warned him in Discord.
Speaker B:I said, who was going to get roasted this week in Discord?
Speaker B:Y'all were already called out earlier.
Speaker B:I told y'all who the victims were.
Speaker B:Next week, we'll pick two more little for the roast, and y'all coming up next anyways.
Speaker B:Yeah, folks, so we got a hell of a show for you.
Speaker B:Oh, you need help with your bed?
Speaker B:All right, John and shy talk for a minute.
Speaker B:I'm gonna go help a child real quick.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:Yep, Talk for a second.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker A:Where's your roast, Mindy?
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I think you have to request it in the discord.
Speaker A:Are you in the.
Speaker D:All right.
Speaker D:You're in a better mood.
Speaker D:Very happy for you.
Speaker D:What I like Happy day.
Speaker D:Listen, you're lifting my spirit.
Speaker A:It's a facade.
Speaker D:Isn't all of life a facade?
Speaker A:Listen, I have this thing called a customer service switch, where I can switch from being really, really angry to oh, my God.
Speaker A:Hi, how are you?
Speaker A:What can I do for you?
Speaker A:You're looking real classy in that dress today.
Speaker D:Please don't ever do that voice again.
Speaker B:Marty.
Speaker B:You're late.
Speaker B:Marty, I think you get to be a victim next week.
Speaker A:Hold on, hold on, hold on, Mark.
Speaker A:Hold on.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:Marty.
Speaker A:Welcome in.
Speaker A:Dude, we missed you.
Speaker A:I'm sorry you're late, but you didn't really miss nothing, Marty.
Speaker B:You definitely didn't miss nothing.
Speaker A:You didn't miss.
Speaker A:My name is John S.
Speaker A:And I'm a game sexual.
Speaker A:Which Discord?
Speaker A:It would be the chaos cadre Discord.
Speaker A:If you're not in there, ask this dumb named Mark to get you in there.
Speaker B:Yes, I can invite you into the chaos roasted.
Speaker B:My life is a victim.
Speaker A:I'm sorry you feel that way, Marty.
Speaker A:If it makes you feel better, you're listening to my customer service voice.
Speaker A:What can I do for you?
Speaker B:No, John, your customer service voice is when you admitted to the whole Internet that you are a game sexual.
Speaker A:Hi, my name's John S.
Speaker A:And I'm a game sexual.
Speaker B:There, see?
Speaker B:Now.
Speaker B:Now he'll say it because there's a recording out there for.
Speaker B:So, John, let me ask you.
Speaker B:So next week, we're kicking shy off to bring on a newcomer.
Speaker B:But the question is, do we torture shy now or do we torture after some news episodes?
Speaker B:You've known shy longer than me, so I'm gonna allow you to make this decision.
Speaker A:Now.
Speaker B:Now.
Speaker B:All right?
Speaker B:So, ladies and gentlemen, for those who are not.
Speaker B:For those who have not been focusing two episodes, John and I did the Satan's toe Shy would have been on that episode at that point, but we already had the toe of Satan, so we're already going to roll into Toe Satan since she came in late.
Speaker B:There was a donation that came in online last week for us to order a toe saint for Shy.
Speaker B:John sent that over to Shy.
Speaker B:And now, because she has a toe saying, we're.
Speaker B:We're gonna do it.
Speaker B:We're gonna see how long she can last with a toe of Satan.
Speaker B:What I will do is I believe if I'm not mistaken.
Speaker B:Yes, sir.
Speaker A:Shut up for one second, Marty.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's shiny.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:But he calls her Shy because he's right.
Speaker B:I am.
Speaker D:I am shy.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:All right, so we got this timer here.
Speaker B:So shiny.
Speaker B:Once that timer hits 9:55, that's when you'll stick the toe Satan in your mouth, and we'll see how long you can last with a toe of Satan within your mouth.
Speaker D:Hold on.
Speaker B:All right, so you'll have.
Speaker B:We'll see if you can do the full five minutes.
Speaker B:John and I made it four.
Speaker B:The question is, can you beat our time?
Speaker D:Four.
Speaker B:We did.
Speaker B:Oh, sorry.
Speaker B:No, we made it three and a half.
Speaker A:Three.
Speaker A:Three and a half.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So you got to beat three and a half minutes.
Speaker A:I'll be happy for you.
Speaker B:All right, so we're gonna give you a countdown of 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go.
Speaker B:All right, now, the thing is, you get a hold of your mouth, it does.
Speaker B:It's not hot at first.
Speaker B:It actually tastes really good.
Speaker B:You get that nice cinnamon flavor first.
Speaker B:It kind of just sits well in your mouth.
Speaker B:You got to take your hands off the.
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker B:Take your hands right off of that.
Speaker B:All right, so folks who are wondering.
Speaker B:She's doing the toe of Satan right now.
Speaker B:It is a 9 million Scoville unit lollipop.
Speaker B:I got it right here.
Speaker B:It's a 9 million Scoville unit lollipop.
Speaker B:It's a great tasting lollipop.
Speaker B:And what it does, it starts getting your mouth to salivate a little bit.
Speaker B:You'll start feeling the juices going through your.
Speaker B:It tastes really good.
Speaker B:And it looks like my daughter's trying to catch my attention.
Speaker A:Moist.
Speaker B:That's my daughter.
Speaker B:It was a pork chop made by Chachi.
Speaker A:Listen, it's all.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's all in your mind.
Speaker A:Doing great.
Speaker A:You're doing fantastic.
Speaker A:You'll be fine.
Speaker A:You're doing great.
Speaker A:You're.
Speaker A:You're literally Adam.
Speaker A:Almost a minute.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Matter of fact, can you do us a favor?
Speaker B:This is a very Patriotic.
Speaker B:Kind of a podcast.
Speaker B:Can.
Speaker B:Can you say your pledge allegiance to the flag for us, please?
Speaker B:Can you go, I pledge allegiance.
Speaker B:Come on, say with us.
Speaker B:I pledge allegiance to the flag.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You got to be able to talk with it in your mouth.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:Jackson, go get your water.
Speaker B:Go get your water.
Speaker B:I'm so shiny over here right now.
Speaker B:Go downstairs.
Speaker B:Go get some water.
Speaker A:So Marty wants to know if you remember to have milk close by.
Speaker A:I don't think she's listening.
Speaker B:No, the cat's over there.
Speaker B:Like, you're suffering, lady.
Speaker B:You're suffering.
Speaker A:She's got a glass of milk.
Speaker B:She does got a glass of milk.
Speaker B:All right, where's she at right now?
Speaker B:She's only one minute in right now.
Speaker B:She's almost creeped to the two minutes.
Speaker B:Almost two minutes.
Speaker B:Almost.
Speaker A:She's.
Speaker B:That's the longest two minutes in our life right now.
Speaker B:Her.
Speaker B:Her boyfriend should come home and she should give him a kiss.
Speaker B:After that lollipop's been in her mouth, he'll regret ever kissing her after that.
Speaker A:Don't let the cat lick it.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:You made it two minutes so far.
Speaker B:Two minutes.
Speaker B:You're two minutes in right now.
Speaker B:That means you only got three more minutes to go to reach the.
Speaker B:The extreme level of five minutes.
Speaker B:You're doing pretty good.
Speaker B:You are.
Speaker B:Do you feel it burning right now?
Speaker B:Is it burning?
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:You are doing fantastic.
Speaker B:Do you feel just.
Speaker B:You gotta swallow the juice, though.
Speaker B:Don't spit it out.
Speaker B:You have to swallow the juice.
Speaker B:The juice.
Speaker B:The juice is what makes that lollipop.
Speaker A:Don't let him lie to you.
Speaker B:You gotta.
Speaker B:The juice is what makes the damn lollipop, though.
Speaker B:You have to swallow the juice.
Speaker A:Lollipop, bro.
Speaker A:We didn't swallow the juice.
Speaker A:Don't you make her do that.
Speaker A:That's brutal.
Speaker B:The first time you ever do the lollipop.
Speaker B:You have to swallow the juice.
Speaker B:I've swallowed the juice before.
Speaker B:Sometimes, John, it's good to be a swallower with a case of this lollipop.
Speaker B:You have to swallow spitter.
Speaker A:I'm a spitter?
Speaker B:You're a spitter.
Speaker B:Well, I figured you're always a spitter.
Speaker A:You would know.
Speaker A:She.
Speaker B:She's over there jamming out to, like this make believe music right now.
Speaker B:Could you imagine?
Speaker B:Oh, dear God.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:That would be a major burning sensation, Marty.
Speaker B:That'd be a major burning sensation.
Speaker A:You're at a little over three minutes.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Did she hit three minutes?
Speaker B:She did hit three minutes.
Speaker B:She's only got two more minutes left to do the full Five.
Speaker A:I can guarantee you she's probably gonna make the five.
Speaker B:You think she's gonna make the five?
Speaker B:She's.
Speaker B:She's almost there.
Speaker B:She's almost there.
Speaker A:Almost there.
Speaker B:Dude, it sounds like she's ready to barf like a though.
Speaker B:I mean, you just think of the oozing puss.
Speaker B:Oh, there it goes.
Speaker B:Damn trash just ejected it.
Speaker B:The cat's like, what the just happened?
Speaker B:How was that lollipop?
Speaker B:Was that the best tasting lollipop you've ever had in your life right there?
Speaker D:You.
Speaker A:She said exactly what I said, dude.
Speaker B:But it wasn't me.
Speaker B:It was Raider.
Speaker B:Raider's the one that donated the cash for that lollipop.
Speaker D:Sorry, I should mute my mic.
Speaker B:No, no.
Speaker B:The people on audio again.
Speaker B:For those who are watching audio, you'll have to go back and watch the video.
Speaker B:We are roughly about 13 minutes and 50 seconds in.
Speaker B:Right now, Shiny has done the toe of Satan.
Speaker B:She can't stop spitting.
Speaker B:At this moment, her mouth is on fire.
Speaker B:All she could think about is excruciating pain, wishing she was dead.
Speaker B:Go to bed.
Speaker B:Good night, kiddo.
Speaker B:I love you.
Speaker A:You can literally hear her gargle.
Speaker B:Yeah, gargling that water or milk or whatever it is she's got in that cup.
Speaker A:Marty said.
Speaker D:No, it's my nose.
Speaker A:Oh, man.
Speaker B:So the viewers are really wondering, how did that burn feel?
Speaker B:Did the burn feel good?
Speaker B:I mean, was it a good feeling burn?
Speaker B:Was it a painful burn?
Speaker D:It's getting worse.
Speaker B:It does get worse.
Speaker B:Before it gets better, it'll wear off.
Speaker B:What do you say, John?
Speaker B:10 minutes?
Speaker A:Give or take 10, 15 minutes.
Speaker B:Yeah, 10 or 15 minutes.
Speaker A:I should have told her to get some cheesecake.
Speaker B:I should grow some Carolina Reapers and send some out to you guys, huh?
Speaker B:No, John.
Speaker B:I grow the best Carolina Reapers though.
Speaker A:That may be, dude, but I remember what you did to me.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker B:But I.
Speaker B:I grew some really good Carolina Reapers.
Speaker B:We could eat those on live.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:Why not?
Speaker B:Well, this time we'll leave Shiny out of it.
Speaker B:We'll bring Raider in.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:And Raider and I will.
Speaker A:No, no.
Speaker A:We made a promise.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:No more spicy challenges for me.
Speaker B:It wouldn't be a spicy challenge.
Speaker B:We would just be toasting the good times.
Speaker D:I'm buying one of those for Raiders.
Speaker B:Gonna be sending Raider.
Speaker B:Well, you gotta make sure he gets it before next week.
Speaker B:He'll be on next week.
Speaker D:Who's got his address?
Speaker B:I can get it, John.
Speaker B:Get it so we can get rated into it.
Speaker B:Mark, you can send them to me.
Speaker B:I need a colon flush.
Speaker B:You got it, Marty.
Speaker B:We have Marty.
Speaker B:Don't worry, Marty.
Speaker B:We're gonna have you on the show too.
Speaker B:Marty, we've already been talking about.
Speaker B:We gotta get you on the show as well.
Speaker D:The only good thing about this is the amount of saliva.
Speaker A:Hey, what are you doing?
Speaker B:Hello?
Speaker A:Can you hear me?
Speaker B:Yeah, I can hear you now.
Speaker A:All right, cool.
Speaker A:What are you doing?
Speaker E:Working on some podcast stuff.
Speaker A:Oh, that's a shame.
Speaker A:You should definitely tune in right now.
Speaker A:Shiny has something to say to you.
Speaker A:She does?
Speaker A:Yeah, she does.
Speaker B:Wait, wait, John, hold on one second.
Speaker B:Let me do this real quick.
Speaker B:Is it.
Speaker B:Does his number end in the:Speaker B:Hold on, hold on, hold on one second.
Speaker A:Hold on, hold on.
Speaker B:Does his number end in:Speaker A:Yeah, it does.
Speaker B:All right, tell him you're hanging up.
Speaker B:You answer the phone call.
Speaker B:It's calling into it.
Speaker A:Hey, I'm hanging up.
Speaker A:Answer the phone call that's coming into you.
Speaker A:Oh, okay.
Speaker E:You're gonna call in?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Give me a second.
Speaker A:All right, bye.
Speaker D:Why does it burn so much?
Speaker D:Like, it's not even in my mouth anymore.
Speaker D:Like, I feel like.
Speaker B:Oh, hold on one second.
Speaker A:It's like a 10 to 15 minute afterburn.
Speaker B:One second, Raider, we'll be calling you in two.
Speaker B:One second.
Speaker A:My man Marty wants to know, did you save yo?
Speaker A:It's like puffy lips, dude.
Speaker A:That's the fashion.
Speaker A:It is.
Speaker B:That stuff burns like a real quick.
Speaker B:It does.
Speaker A:Okay, Raiders here in Twitch.
Speaker B:Raiders here on Twitch.
Speaker B:Okay, we're gonna call him in two seconds.
Speaker B:I'm figuring out real quickly here.
Speaker B:Yeah, I just made sure the audio is working.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker B:We're calling Raider now.
Speaker D:Barf bucket.
Speaker E:What's up?
Speaker B:What's going on, my man?
Speaker B:So I want to let you know that your toe Satan was put to good use.
Speaker B:You got shiny over here dying currently.
Speaker D:I hate you so much.
Speaker D:I love you, but I hate you.
Speaker B:And Raider, she knows you're gonna be on the show next week, that you're taking her spot next week, and she's got a message.
Speaker B:She's got a message for you.
Speaker D:Okay, prepare.
Speaker D:I'm getting you one.
Speaker D:You get one, too.
Speaker D:Have at it.
Speaker E:You know the difference for me and you?
Speaker E:I won't do it.
Speaker B:Oh, but come on, Raider.
Speaker B:If it's sent to you and it rece it's received at your home, you're gonna have to do it.
Speaker B:That's just how it goes.
Speaker E:Nobody knows my address for a reason.
Speaker B:We're gonna figure out your address.
Speaker B:I'm sure John can show you A little nipple and you'll get it.
Speaker E:Maybe a little bit.
Speaker E:Show a little bit of skin.
Speaker B:I mean, remember, John is the guy.
Speaker A:That did say, hi, my name is John S.
Speaker E:Oh, no.
Speaker B:Oh, it looks like Satan has it.
Speaker B:Yeah, let's go to Satan over on Twitch has it.
Speaker B:So it looks like we're gonna get that address.
Speaker A:At my age, that would kill me.
Speaker B:Probably would.
Speaker B:Marty.
Speaker B:Marty.
Speaker B:We will not have you do the toast Satan.
Speaker B:Marty.
Speaker A:Depends on what.
Speaker A:I'll make it worth your while.
Speaker B:All right, we're gonna get back to the show, my man.
Speaker B:We just want to make sure to let you know, a little sneak peek that there's plans to send you the toe Satan before next week.
Speaker B:Do you have any words for Shiny Raider?
Speaker B:All right, go for it.
Speaker B:What do you got to say to Shiny?
Speaker E:But it gets better over time.
Speaker B:We appreciate you, Raider.
Speaker B:We'll talk to you later on, my man.
Speaker B:All right, folks, we'll open up the phone lines a little bit later.
Speaker B:We just had to call Raider real quick since Raider's the one that donated that toe of Satan for shiny to do who's currently dying.
Speaker B:Folks, as you all know right now, we start off the show with the roasting, and then we go in the news.
Speaker B:But we had to take a quick break from the news because while Shiny had that toe of Satan, so we had to get the toe Satan off the bat.
Speaker B:Right off the bat.
Speaker B:So this could be fun.
Speaker B:Watch her try to talk about the most recent news stories.
Speaker B:So this is going to be great.
Speaker B:As she's dying, the snot just coming out of her nose right now, like mounds of snot just flowing out of her nostrils.
Speaker A:She had.
Speaker A:So Satan.
Speaker A:She had milk.
Speaker A:She switched to water.
Speaker B:Yeah, but let's.
Speaker B:Let's jump into this right now.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:No, don't do that.
Speaker A:That doesn't help.
Speaker D:It did help.
Speaker B:Drink milk, melt water.
Speaker A:Listen, listen.
Speaker D:This is what I can't handle.
Speaker A:When.
Speaker A:When I did the one chip challenge, I did that with the honey.
Speaker A:It did not help.
Speaker A:It just sealed it in.
Speaker B:Speaking of honey, did y'all know that you can use chat GPT to generate recipes for you and a shopping list to buy the things you want?
Speaker B:We cooked our first chat GPT meal today, and it came out bomb.
Speaker B:The best pork tenderloin cooked in a crock pot I've ever had.
Speaker B:It was so good.
Speaker A:Super serious question here, bud.
Speaker B:Shoot.
Speaker A:Could you suck AI's dick any harder?
Speaker B:I absolutely could, and I'm learning.
Speaker B:You see what I'm starting to do on Tick Tock haven't you?
Speaker B:I would.
Speaker B:I was trying to get those videos loaded up here, but it won't let me load them up.
Speaker B:I've got like one tick tock video that I use that Automates.
Speaker B:Like when I get the donut gift, it looks like this big honking donut that I'm mowing down on.
Speaker B:And then I just get drizzled all over my face with glaze.
Speaker A:It doesn't look like glaze.
Speaker B:No, no, it looks like someone did that.
Speaker B:What is it?
Speaker B:The bukkake there?
Speaker B:And then we got the other one where I'm just kind of sitting there looking quite pissed as a bunch of sausages is falling on top of my head.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's good time one.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Then there's the corn one where I mow down this big piece of corn and getting butter all over my face.
Speaker B:It's good stuff.
Speaker B:You got no.
Speaker B:AI is fun, man.
Speaker B:AI AI is taking over.
Speaker B:It's that dead Internet theory.
Speaker B:We'll be talking about more of that on the Mark G show where I'm helping with the dead Internet theory by doing this AI.
Speaker B:The dead Internet theory is pretty interesting, though.
Speaker A:Okay, on to the news.
Speaker B:On the news, John's like, okay, I'm down with his AI mark.
Speaker B:All right, y'all, first up, we have.
Speaker B:Europe's gone dark with a massive blackout across Spain, Portugal, France and Belgium.
Speaker B:Airport shut down, subway stalled, and millions are stuck in the dark like it's the goddamn Middle Ages.
Speaker B:X is losing its mind right now with post screaming it's a cyber attack or extreme weather with a grid.
Speaker B:Spain saying it'll take 10 hours to fix, but it's been longer than that now while Portugal's like, we're.
Speaker B:Who knows?
Speaker B:Picture Madrid, Bara's airport, flights grounded, passengers stranded, and some poor bastards out there cooking paella by phone flashlight in a restaurant.
Speaker B:This is what happens when you rely on solar power and God decides to yeet a storm at your ass.
Speaker B:Enjoy the dark, you paella eating sangria sipping morons.
Speaker A:Yeah, that was a little mouthy, bud.
Speaker B:It was a little mouthy.
Speaker B:Just a little bit, right?
Speaker B:Just.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:It wasn't like mean mouth.
Speaker B:He was just like a little mouthy, right?
Speaker A:It was a mouthful.
Speaker A:You had to work your mouth.
Speaker B:It was.
Speaker B:I had to work that mouth, you know, because we got somebody over here can't work their mouth right now because they're dying.
Speaker B:But yeah.
Speaker B:So I want to talk about that, though, real quick because the seriousness of.
Speaker B:We'll be talking about, of course, on the other show, too.
Speaker B:But, like, a total blackout is possible here in the United States.
Speaker B:Like, we are not safe from a complete blackout, and it could happen to us.
Speaker B:And as.
Speaker B:As dependent as we are here in America on electricity, I feel like what we're seeing happening in France and Belgium right now is not going to be like what we'd see here in America right now.
Speaker B:They're all calm.
Speaker B:People are not burning down things.
Speaker B:People are not robbing people.
Speaker B:People are not killing people.
Speaker B:Like, it's calm over there.
Speaker B:I have a feeling if that happened in America, the death rate's going to go up high and people are going to go crazy and there's going to be a lot of looting.
Speaker B:If that happens here in America.
Speaker B:What you got, John?
Speaker A:Anarchy.
Speaker A:Anarchy.
Speaker A:Chaos and anarchy.
Speaker B:You're saying that's what you would do doing, John?
Speaker B:You'd be out there.
Speaker B:Anarchy.
Speaker A:No, that's what happened, dude.
Speaker B:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker D:Absolutely, babies.
Speaker B:It would be happening, though.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I see it happening.
Speaker B:I mean, look at us now.
Speaker B:People consider breaking into stores and stealing their.
Speaker B:As a form of protest.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:Which is asinine.
Speaker B:Like, you're gonna steal from somebody who's trying to, like a mom and pop who's trying to make money and just steal from them and call it a form of a protest.
Speaker B:That's ridiculous.
Speaker A:Listen, if I owned a store and some tried to break in as a form of protest, I'd come in a blasting, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
Speaker B:Do that again for us, John.
Speaker B:You would come in like, what?
Speaker B:But you're already in the store, so why would you be coming in going like, bam, bam.
Speaker B:Wouldn't you be, like, behind the counter going, boom, boom.
Speaker B:There's your mama, too.
Speaker A:I'm gonna go grab the guns.
Speaker A:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker A:They're in the back room.
Speaker B:Why would they be in the back room, though?
Speaker B:You should have it underneath your counter.
Speaker B:So if A comes in and tries robbing you, you reach under the counter and you pull it up and blast their head off.
Speaker B:I mean, that'd be the way to do it.
Speaker D:Seems too slow, though, Leo.
Speaker D:Like, for protesters, you need something with, like, rapid fire.
Speaker D:No, just me thinking out loud.
Speaker A:Maybe I'm talking Tommy gun.
Speaker D:Well, I mean, I'm just thinking, like, you know, or just talking out loud.
Speaker B:Have a live grenade.
Speaker B:They can't.
Speaker B:It's me and you.
Speaker B:You got two seconds to get out or I'm dropping it.
Speaker B:I don't give a.
Speaker D:Wreck in your store.
Speaker D:You like, come on now.
Speaker B:Well, in that case, you just throw it outside.
Speaker B:You notice at least five more protesters are standing there.
Speaker B:You take care of a few of them, you'd be golden at least.
Speaker A:It kind of bothers me a little bit that we're so calm about, oh, killing people.
Speaker B:Dear God.
Speaker B:There goes my ccw.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:All right, y'all.
Speaker B:Next training on X.
Speaker B:Next is Aussie blood turned Britain's Got Talent into a freak Show Nightmare on April 26th.
Speaker B:Hammering nails up his nose like a human Home Depot project, leaving viewers puking and cheering.
Speaker B:Some ex fans called it the best act ever, while others were like, I'm gonna hurl.
Speaker B:This ain't talent.
Speaker B:It's a cry for help.
Speaker B:Imagine Simon Cowell's face as his cycle turns his schnoz into a nail gun.
Speaker B:Half the audience wants to try it at home.
Speaker B:The other half's praying for bleach to unsee it.
Speaker B:Ozzy's the king of disgusting.
Speaker B:Congrats, you snot nailing lunatic.
Speaker B:You made us all want to die.
Speaker B:Do you see that, though?
Speaker B:Did you see what?
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:Oh, dude.
Speaker B:Nails.
Speaker B:Straight up the.
Speaker B:Nice, dude.
Speaker D:Okay, but were they real nails?
Speaker B:They were real nails.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker D:How do you know?
Speaker D:Like, sleight of hand.
Speaker D:Maybe he switched them.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:Have you ever seen the people that, like, do the swords and they stick it down the throat?
Speaker B:You can see the sword, like, going down the throat.
Speaker B:It's the same concept with the nose.
Speaker B:You got to think about your nose cavity goes straight to the back of your throat and down in.
Speaker B:So it is the same concept.
Speaker D:How long were these nails?
Speaker D:Like four or five inches.
Speaker B:They were pretty decent nails.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:Can I.
Speaker B:Let me see.
Speaker B:We'll get copyright strike.
Speaker B:I can't.
Speaker B:We'll get copyright strike.
Speaker B:I'm saying pull it up.
Speaker B:But like.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, it's the same thing.
Speaker B:So I know when, like, I had to go to the docks and they stuck that camera through the nose.
Speaker B:That camera went up, down, and around and come down the back.
Speaker D:Yeah, but it's straight.
Speaker D:It's not like curving around the.
Speaker D:The bend there.
Speaker D:Like it's going straight up.
Speaker B:Yeah, but same with the throat.
Speaker B:You got a sword.
Speaker B:That sword is kind of got to do a bit down, too.
Speaker D:So I guess it's all in the angles.
Speaker B:I mean, we can ask John.
Speaker B:He is a game sexual.
Speaker B:I'm sure he stuck some PC components down his throat before.
Speaker D:Do we know any throat goats, John?
Speaker A:Yes, my friend.
Speaker B:When you're sticking your game pieces down your throat to pleasure your game console, how hard is it?
Speaker B:Does it go in smooth?
Speaker B:Does it bend down a Little bit.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, there we go.
Speaker B:Johnny.
Speaker D:One sec.
Speaker A:It was so dusty.
Speaker A:Dusted.
Speaker B:It should have dusted.
Speaker B:Probably just a little bit.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker A:Watch the video.
Speaker D:And you know, I had to safely secure the bucket.
Speaker B:Gotcha.
Speaker B:Y'all done?
Speaker B:Y'all done?
Speaker B:Almost puking now.
Speaker D:Yeah, but I feel like that was really good for giving me, like, Angelina Jolie pillow lips.
Speaker B:Dear God.
Speaker A:Now we know what she's gonna do for a beauty hack, right?
Speaker B:She will be ordering about 5, 5 Satan's toe over the next course of the week.
Speaker B:All right, y'all, the final before we get to all, like the weird stories, these are just like the top trending stories on X.
Speaker B:Then we're gonna go to some weird up ones.
Speaker B:Finally, on X is buzzing about Trump demanding the arrest of Biden's auto pin operators on on April 27th.
Speaker B:Says they're criminals who hurt the nation by signing for Sleepy Joe X users are in a Fenzi screaming it's Obama and Susan Rice behind it, while others are like, auto pin pardons.
Speaker B:That's illegal.
Speaker B:Lock them up.
Speaker B:Picture Trump at a rally, red face, yelling about a fucking robot pen like it's deep state secret weapon.
Speaker B:Meanwhile, Biden's probably napping, dreaming of ice cream, while the MAGA crowd loses its goddamn mind over a signature machine.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's real.
Speaker B:He was bitching about pins.
Speaker B:I swear, though, you gotta.
Speaker B:You gotta real.
Speaker B:You gotta give it to him, though.
Speaker B:As someone who's like the troll king, you gotta admit that Trump is the biggest troll king out there.
Speaker B:You saw what he did today, right?
Speaker B:So all the illegals that they have arrested, apprehended and sent back overseas, Ms.
Speaker B:13 illegals, they're all on the front lawn of the White House.
Speaker B:You've seen like the posters of like, missing people.
Speaker B:He's got captured.
Speaker B:Captured.
Speaker B:There's a whole lot of the White House.
Speaker B:He is the biggest troll king ever.
Speaker B:If there's anybody who's.
Speaker B:I don't think there's anybody who could top trolling like Trump does.
Speaker B:That guy trolls.
Speaker B:Or what about the Maga:Speaker B:Have you seen that one?
Speaker B:off the Democrats with a MAGA:Speaker D:Oh, my God.
Speaker D:Good Lord.
Speaker B:I love it, dude.
Speaker B:It makes me laugh.
Speaker D:Right?
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker D:I've met him.
Speaker B:Did you really?
Speaker D:Yeah, I've actually met him three times.
Speaker A:Did you seduce him?
Speaker D:Not my tag.
Speaker B:Nah, he's kind of too old for her, John.
Speaker B:Remember, she likes the 20 year olds.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker D:And he was with, he was with Melania one of the times with her uber stiletto heels.
Speaker B:Melania would have killed her with those heels.
Speaker D:Yeah, right in my temple.
Speaker D:She looks mean.
Speaker D:Like she has this look about her.
Speaker D:Like she just looks angry.
Speaker B:Well, they.
Speaker B:With her husband so much.
Speaker B:And then with her.
Speaker B:I don't blame her.
Speaker B:Like she's, she's on it on a.
Speaker B:At some point she's gonna lose this.
Speaker B:I mean, you saw her during the inauguration, right?
Speaker B:Did you watch the inauguration, John?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:Like she wore like the Grimace hat.
Speaker A:Dude, hold on, hold on.
Speaker A:You know that I don't partake in politics.
Speaker A:I give two less.
Speaker B:I know, but dude, this is like when a lot of the that happened was like more of laughs to see how it went down.
Speaker B:Like it was great.
Speaker B:Like Milani wore a Grimace hat.
Speaker B:Like she was going to a funeral on the inauguration.
Speaker B:It was great.
Speaker D:Like you barely saw like the top of her eyes.
Speaker D:Like the brim was so big.
Speaker B:Or better.
Speaker B:John, instead of the Grimace hat, think of the hamburglar.
Speaker B:Yeah, the Hamburglar hat.
Speaker B:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker B:Like this big round brim hamburger.
Speaker B:Oh, dude, it was great.
Speaker A:Like this.
Speaker D:Where's Carmen?
Speaker D:San Diego.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Dude, I remember that game.
Speaker B:That was the best game out there.
Speaker A:That one show about it too.
Speaker B:That and what is the other game out there where you had to have the people survive.
Speaker B:There are settlers.
Speaker D:Oh, what?
Speaker B:The Oregon Trail.
Speaker B:Oregon Trail.
Speaker A:That game.
Speaker B:That game was badass.
Speaker B:My people always died of malaria.
Speaker B:It was great.
Speaker A:Dysentery.
Speaker D:I get you every time.
Speaker B:All right y'all, we'll go ahead and we'll get off the politics here.
Speaker B:Here's the most up batshit crazy news trending on X from the past five to six days.
Speaker B:Brace yourselves, you freaks.
Speaker B:A Florida man got caught on April 22nd trying to surf on a shopping cart in Walmart parking lot.
Speaker B:Wrote it down a slope, crashed into a minivan and broke his nose.
Speaker B:The cops did arrest him though for reckless endangerment and ex.
Speaker B:People are losing it right now over Walmart.
Speaker B:Surfer, you're not Kelly Slater.
Speaker B:You're a cart riding dumbass.
Speaker B:You're a walking lawsuit.
Speaker B:But I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker B:John and I are talking about riding a a grocery car to some time in the near future.
Speaker B:But ours are going to be a little bit different.
Speaker B:We're gonna tie it to a back of a car and the car is going to be pulling the shopping cart and the person's gonna be surfing in the back.
Speaker A:We both know that Mark is not going to be in that cart.
Speaker B:Oh, that's right.
Speaker B:John will be in the car.
Speaker B:John's wife said no spicy.
Speaker B:She didn't say no surfing.
Speaker A:She didn't say nothing stupid.
Speaker B:Nope.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's it.
Speaker B:She said nothing spicy.
Speaker B:She said absolutely nothing about doing anything stupid.
Speaker B:So we got the stupid.
Speaker A:I don't know out of that.
Speaker A:With a broken arm.
Speaker B:We're gonna sit there.
Speaker B:Have to take bets too.
Speaker B:And how long John will last on the shopping cart.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:Unproductive psychiatrist.
Speaker B:Thank you, you little bot.
Speaker B:But we are not buying viewers.
Speaker B:We're doing pretty well.
Speaker B:I mean, we keep increasing of viewers every week.
Speaker B:Moderators are out there.
Speaker B:I think I got a few moderators out there in Twitch.
Speaker A:Are they.
Speaker A:Are they in the twitch?
Speaker B:I don't know if the moderators are in the Twitch right now.
Speaker A:Am I a moderator in there?
Speaker B:I believe you are.
Speaker D:Is it wrong that I would want to actually do that dumbass thing?
Speaker D:Not with you guys, but like go down a hill in a shopping cart?
Speaker B:I mean, I already ride a shopping cart every time I go grocery shopping.
Speaker B:If I'm parked a mile away from the shop return, I'm running with that and standing on riding down, hoping nobody pulls out.
Speaker A:That's because I'm here.
Speaker B:I mean, I'm all about riding the shopping cart.
Speaker B:What about you, John?
Speaker B:Do you do that?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean, who doesn't?
Speaker A:There you go, band.
Speaker B:Fantastic.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker D:Nice.
Speaker B:All right, y'all.
Speaker B:In Michigan, a woman got busted on April 23rd for trying to bless her neighbor's car with a gallon of maple syrup.
Speaker B:Poured it all over the hood, claiming it would ward off evil spirits.
Speaker B:The neighbors caught her.
Speaker B:Cops charged her with vandalism and exes calling her SERP shaman.
Speaker B:You're not warding off, you sticky fingered nutcase.
Speaker B:You're just a breakfast terrorist.
Speaker A:I mean, yeah, God damn right.
Speaker A:Terrorists wasting maple syrup.
Speaker A:Who the do you think you are, right?
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I'll agree with you.
Speaker B:Maple syrup is like some of the best ever.
Speaker A:Okay, super troopers.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker D:You're reacting to it.
Speaker D:You're like best.
Speaker D:I mean, don't I feel like that is a blessing for your car?
Speaker B:No, because you know how much of a that'd be to wash off a car?
Speaker B:Number one.
Speaker B:But number two, that's just was wasting God's creation.
Speaker B:Like maple syrup comes straight from the trees.
Speaker B:And it tastes so good.
Speaker B:You can drink maple.
Speaker B:You can drink maple syrup right from the jug and it's so delicious.
Speaker A:Have you ever had authentic real maple syrup?
Speaker D:Shiny, like, don't hate me, but yes.
Speaker D:And I don't like it.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:There's a reason why we're bringing Raider on next week.
Speaker B:There's a reason why Raider's coming on.
Speaker A:We're going to.
Speaker A:I have her address.
Speaker A:We're going to send her a jug of a real maple syrup.
Speaker D:Wasted on me.
Speaker B:My.
Speaker B:You know, it's really good.
Speaker B:It's like maple syrup, though, when it actually comes out of the tree.
Speaker B:Have you ever had the liquid fied maple syrup just as it comes out of the trees?
Speaker B:The tap.
Speaker B:That is so good.
Speaker A:It's delicious.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:We know what I also learned, though.
Speaker B:Maple syrup's pretty flammable.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Yes, it is.
Speaker B:I never knew that.
Speaker B:Here's.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker D:Now things are starting to make sense.
Speaker B:Here's a funny story.
Speaker B:When I was younger, I started a forest fire behind my grandmother's house with maple syrup.
Speaker B:And I got my ass beat.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:So we were.
Speaker B:Me and two other kids, we're hanging out.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We got our hands on a lighter.
Speaker B:Mind you, we were.
Speaker B:We weren't even teenagers yet.
Speaker B:I think we're like 10 or 11.
Speaker B:And we got a lighter in hand.
Speaker B:We're out by the woods, but my grandma's house to the right, this neighbor's house to the left.
Speaker B:It was a neighbor's kids that were with me.
Speaker B:And we're like, huh, let's.
Speaker B:Let's see if we can heat up the maple syrup and then eat it.
Speaker B:Well, we had some leaves with the maple syrup on it.
Speaker B:We were playing around.
Speaker B:Next thing you know, the engulfed started this huge fire.
Speaker B:Scared shitless, not knowing what to do.
Speaker B:Number one called 911, told him there was a fire.
Speaker B:Yelling through my grandma's house of fire as everyone's chaotic, trying to tend to the fire to make sure the fire gets knocked down.
Speaker B:My grandmother had one of those chests and you know those big, like, wooden chests that you can, like, put clothes.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, she had one of those.
Speaker B:I hid in that.
Speaker B:The fire was over with.
Speaker B:I could hear my uncle Mark.
Speaker B:Get your ass to Mark.
Speaker B:I'm like, I'm hiding.
Speaker B:I'm scared shitless.
Speaker B:Side.
Speaker B:There's tears coming down my eyes.
Speaker B:I know it's coming to me.
Speaker B:This I'm done for.
Speaker B:So luckily, there was some books in the chest.
Speaker B:So I.
Speaker B:I put the books in my ass.
Speaker B:I knew it was coming to me.
Speaker A:I've done that.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:Next thing you know, I.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:That there's light coming through the chest.
Speaker B:And I'm like, my uncle, dude, he picked me up, took his belt off, and it was done for.
Speaker B:He Put a few whacks.
Speaker B:And I laughed.
Speaker B:Big mistake.
Speaker B:If that audio effect happened when that says.
Speaker B:And that's the moment he realized he.
Speaker B:That that was it.
Speaker B:Because when he realized there was books, he pulled down my pants.
Speaker B:He didn't give a who was around.
Speaker B:My pants went down.
Speaker B:And at that point, it was bare ass beating.
Speaker B:Dude, it that bell, I swear to God, I had welts on my ass for a week.
Speaker B:I could not sit.
Speaker B:And the neighbor's kids blame me for all of it.
Speaker B:Like, those are there helping me.
Speaker B:And they're like, it was all Mark.
Speaker B:He told us to do it.
Speaker A:Whose idea was it?
Speaker B:All three of us.
Speaker A:No, whose initial idea was it, Mark?
Speaker B:All three of us.
Speaker B:We all thought it'd be kind of cool.
Speaker B:It was like, literally.
Speaker A:Who initially thought it?
Speaker B:I can't remember.
Speaker B:I just remember the fire.
Speaker D:How old were you?
Speaker B:Like nine or ten?
Speaker B:It was years.
Speaker D:At least you have a good excuse.
Speaker D:I set somebody's backyard on fire in my late teens.
Speaker D:Like 18, 19.
Speaker B:Oh, so she's a minute.
Speaker B:She's a pyro now.
Speaker D:I am not allowed to operate barbecues or fireplaces or anything with an open flame.
Speaker A:Listen, my story's so much better.
Speaker B:What you got?
Speaker D:Let's hear it.
Speaker A:So I was home on summer break, and we were having a bonfire or whatever, and I was in charge of getting it ready.
Speaker A:So I took a full can of gasoline.
Speaker A:Like, I'm talking like a three gallon.
Speaker D:This is sounding familiar.
Speaker A:And I was like, just dousing it, dude.
Speaker A:And then I made a little trail in the yard.
Speaker A:I'm like, yeah, we're gonna light on fire.
Speaker D:It's gonna be great.
Speaker A:It wasn't great.
Speaker D:No, I had the can.
Speaker D:I had the can light on fire in my hand, and I chucked it.
Speaker D:And gasoline, that's everywhere.
Speaker A:What happened to me?
Speaker A:So, like, I lit it.
Speaker D:Okay, I don't feel so bad now.
Speaker A:Listen, listen.
Speaker A:I lit it and it went shooting down the yard, right?
Speaker A:And then the bonfire went up in a big fireball.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:I don't know how, but it came back into the spout of the gas can.
Speaker D:Yeah, gas can't.
Speaker B:Fire.
Speaker B:Shooting fire everywhere.
Speaker D:That's exactly what I did, folks.
Speaker B:And this is a show you don't want to do, okay?
Speaker B:If the kids watching don't do the.
Speaker B:We're talking about.
Speaker B:Please don't.
Speaker B:Entertainment purposes only.
Speaker D:Listen.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker A:It could have been way.
Speaker A:It could have been way worse than it was, thank God.
Speaker A:But, like, I learned at a very young age not to play with gasoline.
Speaker D:How old were you?
Speaker A:I was like 14, 13, something like that.
Speaker D:All right, well, the dumbass award here, because I was the oldest.
Speaker A:Can I tell you something else, though?
Speaker A:I still do it.
Speaker D:Oh, okay, great.
Speaker D:Now I don't get the dumbass award.
Speaker D:You do.
Speaker B:No, I mean, John still gots it for stabbing himself in his own leg.
Speaker D:I stabbed my finger.
Speaker A:I don't think I can show.
Speaker A:I don't think I have that knife anymore.
Speaker A:I gotta.
Speaker A:I got a bigger one.
Speaker B:Make a great.
Speaker A:I don't know where it is.
Speaker B:Well, it's a good thing you have your wife now, so that way there's no more females you have to show off on while you're stabbing yourself in the leg.
Speaker A:It wasn't even a showing off thing, bro.
Speaker A:It just happened.
Speaker A:I was just playing with the cardboard box, dude.
Speaker B:Just stabbing a Papa John's box.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Kids watching this.
Speaker B:Remember, entertainment purposes only.
Speaker B:Please don't try this at home.
Speaker B:Home.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Don't do it.
Speaker A:It's dumb.
Speaker B:I mean, think of the people that are idiots that have a grease fire in their home and their instant reactions to throw water on it.
Speaker D:Not supposed to do that.
Speaker B:Matter of fact, you know, we have.
Speaker B:In my house, we have fire blankets.
Speaker B:We got these little packages.
Speaker B:It's fire blankets inside of a bag.
Speaker B:So if there's ever a stove, fire, whatever, you just rip the tab and the fire blade comes out.
Speaker B:You throw it over the fire to puts out the fire.
Speaker B:It's great.
Speaker D:Wait, are you trying.
Speaker D:Before you do that, are you trying to save what you're making on the stove first?
Speaker D:Yes or no?
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker D:Okay, just checking.
Speaker D:Yeah, no, I'd probably try and salvage something, throw it in the sink and then.
Speaker B:No, because that time, that time I'm picking up the phone going, hi, Papa John's.
Speaker B:Yes, I'm ordering pizza tonight because I burnt down my house.
Speaker B:I up.
Speaker B:I need.
Speaker B:I need pizza.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker D:I just feel like in a moment of panic I'd be like, wait, can I save that?
Speaker A:Yeah, you know, not to sound sexist, but that's a real woman thing to say.
Speaker B:I mean, like last night in the cr.
Speaker B:Well, tonight in the crock pot when I made that chat GPT meal, we were wondering if we burnt it.
Speaker B:But luckily we did not burn.
Speaker B:It was just the.
Speaker B:The honey was glazed on the side of the crock pot.
Speaker B:But yeah, that was scary.
Speaker B:But we'll eat it anyways.
Speaker B:We try not to waste food.
Speaker B:But if you're gonna burn the food from a green.
Speaker B:But listen, if you burn the food from A grease fire on your stove or in your oven.
Speaker B:That food is not salvageable.
Speaker B:You just got to toss it.
Speaker D:Well, I mean, again, is the grease fire in the pan or is it the grease got outside the pan?
Speaker B:Well, the grease fire started in the pan originally, so therefore it gets outside the pan.
Speaker B:So yes, it did start with inside where you're cooking.
Speaker B:And it's just like the oven fire.
Speaker B:Listen, I love smoked food like everybody else, but when you have a fire inside your oven, that's beyond smoked, so.
Speaker A:Hey, Steve, speaking of smoked foods.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Let's not talk about smoked foods right now.
Speaker B:John, I've got an issue.
Speaker A:I'm gonna need you to make me some brisket, boy.
Speaker B:Yeah, we gotta order a new cord for my smoker.
Speaker B:If not, I'm gonna shut the up.
Speaker B:Yeah, last, last summer when I was mowing the lawn.
Speaker A:I hate you.
Speaker B:The, the electrical cord on my smoker got shredded to pieces.
Speaker B:And the sad part is what makes me cry because this smoker is like a two thousand dollar smoker that I got for free.
Speaker B:So I own a commercial clean account.
Speaker B:One of my clients has a restaurant, whatever, and had the smoker out back.
Speaker B:He knows I had like, I had this electric smoker that my wife got me.
Speaker B:Phenomenal.
Speaker B:I cooked on that thing every day.
Speaker B:And we kept talking about smoke food.
Speaker B:He goes, I know how much you love smoked foods.
Speaker B:He goes, we just had an indoor type of smoker built in for a restaurant.
Speaker B:So if you want that smoker out back, it's yours.
Speaker D:Wait, you don't know a single electrician who could strip that cord and like re thread it and make you a new cord?
Speaker B:Well, I threw it away after I shredded it.
Speaker B:I can order it online.
Speaker B:I'm sure it's only like a twenty, thirty dollar cord.
Speaker B:I just got to order it online.
Speaker A:You better get stepping too.
Speaker B:I know, I know, dude.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I saw a brisket the other day at the grocery store and I'm like, oh, but dude, the price of brisket scared me.
Speaker B:$126 right now for a full brisket, dude.
Speaker D:Holy.
Speaker A:I'll tell you what, you get the cord, I'll buy the brisket.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Bet.
Speaker D:How many pounds was it?
Speaker B:Brisket?
Speaker B:I think that was probably maybe a 20, 30 pound brisket.
Speaker B:It was a big brisket.
Speaker A:Both our families, bro.
Speaker B:Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker B:And the sad part is it'd be enough to feed your family.
Speaker B:Just me.
Speaker B:I'm the only one in my household that eats smoked foods.
Speaker B:Except for my son who just moved out last year.
Speaker B:But he'll come right over.
Speaker B:If I tell him I smoke something, he'll be right over to eat, eat it.
Speaker D:But it's like coming in for brisket.
Speaker B:Yep, smoked brisket's the best.
Speaker A:Yeah, it is, dude.
Speaker A:I've had some of mark smoked foods, and let me tell you, I have never been more orgasmic about when he made that smoked food, bro.
Speaker A:Like, straight up, like what?
Speaker B:Dude, you know, it's even better.
Speaker B:Smoked Mac and cheese, homemade macaroni cheese, and then you could finish it off in the smoker.
Speaker B:Oh, it's so good.
Speaker B:All that smoke flavor goes right in the Mac and cheese.
Speaker A:At my old job, my wife's current job, there's a guy there that makes smoked cream cheese.
Speaker B:Ooh, bro, so good, so good.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Nothing like smoked food, dude.
Speaker B:I, I, you can't go wrong with smoked food.
Speaker D:I've never had anything smoked that I enjoyed.
Speaker B:Really?
Speaker D:Yeah, like, it just didn't quite.
Speaker D:But again, it could have been the chef.
Speaker D:Could have been the chef.
Speaker B:Can we call Raider real quick?
Speaker B:We need to boo her and bring Raider in here real quick.
Speaker A:Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker A:Get, get the out, get out.
Speaker A:You're no longer allowed.
Speaker D:I said it could have been the chef.
Speaker D:Somebody, maybe somebody lacked, I don't know who chimed.
Speaker B:Did you chime?
Speaker B:Did you not put your on vibrator silent when we're nowhere on live?
Speaker B:Like, what the hell, Jo?
Speaker A:Look, look, I took, I took care of it.
Speaker B:It's unsilently horrible.
Speaker B:You son of a.
Speaker B:All right, folks, well, we again, off topic.
Speaker B:That's a great thing that we do over here.
Speaker B:Let's jump on to a guy in Ohio.
Speaker A:Wait, wait.
Speaker A:Before we move forward, Shiny, you'll have to make a trip to Maine somewhere.
Speaker A:I can make you some smoked food, and then you'll see that you're wrong and we're right.
Speaker B:All right, a guy in Ohio was arrested on April 22 for trying to race his neighbor's lawnmower down the street.
Speaker B:Revved it up to 15 mph, hit a mailbox and flipped it into a ditch.
Speaker B:Cops hauled him off for reckless operation.
Speaker B:And ex users are cackling at lawnmower racer.
Speaker B:You're not a nascar, you grass cutting moron.
Speaker B:You're a suburban speed demon reject.
Speaker B:I'm guessing Shiny has driven a lawnmower before and raced I.
Speaker D:Well, okay, so you know what?
Speaker D:If they have gears, you're supposed to use them.
Speaker D:And I unfortunately got my lawnmower keys taken away.
Speaker D:Apparently you're not supposed to go into that last gear on the straightaways, no matter how long the straightaway.
Speaker D:And I was gonna cross cut it, but neighbor ratted me out that I was being aggressive with my lawnmower before.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Anyway, so, yeah, I would race it.
Speaker D:I would race it.
Speaker D:I wouldn't crash it into a stupid mailbox, but I'd race it.
Speaker B:What I get a kick out is the ones who are drinking and they're like, okay, I can't get behind the wheel of my car.
Speaker B:I'm too drunk.
Speaker B:But I'm gonna hop on my ride and lawnmower and head up to that corner store and buy me a sixer.
Speaker B:Like, those ones blow my.
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker B:Buddy, you can still get a oui for driving a lawnmower.
Speaker B:Hell, you get an oui for riding a bike drunk.
Speaker B:That is crazy.
Speaker B:You're.
Speaker B:You're on a pedal bike and you can get an oui.
Speaker A:You can.
Speaker B:But, I mean, I get it right?
Speaker B:Because you're riding a bike and you got an oncoming traffic, and you're just drunk as going, oh, pretty light.
Speaker B:Just, like, take yourself out.
Speaker D:If you can't walk a straight line, you're certainly not pedaling a straight line.
Speaker A:Marty.
Speaker A:Marty.
Speaker A:Gears.
Speaker A:Mine only had a picture of a rabbit and turtle speeds.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker A:Getting the wrong lawnmower.
Speaker D:No, this is a big tractor.
Speaker A:Listen, listen.
Speaker A:I can guarantee you at some point in our lives, me and Mark are gonna race right on lawnmowers.
Speaker D:You should.
Speaker B:We'll have to get them.
Speaker B:My lawn's not that big, though.
Speaker B:I don't mind doing the push mower.
Speaker B:It helps me lose a little bit of weight.
Speaker A:I don't have a lawn, but I'll.
Speaker B:Get one because I do.
Speaker B:I get a minute.
Speaker B:I gotta.
Speaker B:I gotta figure out how I'm gonna lose 40 pounds.
Speaker B:And my kids and I.
Speaker B:I got myself a bike last year, and this year I told my kids we're gonna go out, do a ton of bike riding this summer because I need to lose 40 pounds.
Speaker D:Okay, I have a question.
Speaker D:Is it true what they say about.
Speaker D:For men, like, for every 20, 25 pounds that you lose, you gain an inch of length in your johnson?
Speaker D:I think that that's true.
Speaker B:I don't think that's true.
Speaker A:I don't think it's true.
Speaker A:Room.
Speaker B:I think that's a myth.
Speaker B:But maybe we should ask Raider, because I think we figured out last episode that Raider had a sausage of a God.
Speaker B:So we might have to go back to Raider on that one.
Speaker B:Let's jump on here, y'all.
Speaker B:A Texas woman got caught on April 23rd trying to cleanse her neighbor's mailbox with a blowtorch.
Speaker B:Said it was cursed.
Speaker B:After she got a late bill, she set the whole thing on fire.
Speaker B:Cops charged her with arson and exes losing it over mailbox torture.
Speaker B:You're not cleansing, you pyre psycho.
Speaker B:You're just a walking fucking fire hazard.
Speaker D:I mean.
Speaker B:Sorry, Gerald.
Speaker B:Did someone just said.
Speaker B:Did someone.
Speaker B:Did someone just say game sexual?
Speaker A:Marty says yes, my name is John S.
Speaker A:And I'm a game sexual.
Speaker B:You know you're gonna abuse that.
Speaker B:Oh, I'm 100 gonna abuse it.
Speaker B:I did make a tick tock of it.
Speaker D:No, I'm gonna say it.
Speaker D:I'm gonna put my face on it and overlay his voice.
Speaker A:It just.
Speaker A:Can you just say it for us real quick?
Speaker A:All serious like.
Speaker D:Like you said it?
Speaker D:Yeah, I can't say it the way you said it.
Speaker D:I can't.
Speaker A:This is rocket flying over your house right now.
Speaker A:Marty, pictures or it didn't happen.
Speaker A:Get my phone number from Mark.
Speaker B:I probably.
Speaker B:I mean, he does live right by the shuttle lodge.
Speaker A:Shut the up.
Speaker A:I'm talking to my man.
Speaker B:Are you now?
Speaker D:Marty does say it's true about the weight loss.
Speaker D:Just saying.
Speaker D:I think Marty knows.
Speaker D:See.
Speaker B:Marty would know.
Speaker B:Marty's right around your same age group.
Speaker B:So you guys are golden.
Speaker B:Those golden years.
Speaker D:Yeah, I'm living in denial about the gold news.
Speaker B:All right, Joel.
Speaker B:California man got arrested on April 22 for trying to perform a stand up comedy set in the middle of a busy intersection.
Speaker B:He dodged cars while yelling punch lines about his ex.
Speaker B:He caused a three car pileup, got arrested for for public disturbance.
Speaker B:And ex users are calling him a traffic comedian.
Speaker B:You're not Dave Chappelle, you roadblocking dumbass.
Speaker B:You're a human speed bump.
Speaker B:And they said the woman he was talking about was named A Shiny.
Speaker B:He was a 20 year old male.
Speaker D:That sounds legit.
Speaker D:I don't know why it sounds legit.
Speaker B:Everything was true about that except for the ending chat by Alex Go.
Speaker A:Hey now.
Speaker A:Hey, you want to hear a funny story about comedian?
Speaker B:Oh, what you got?
Speaker A:When I was in high school, dude, they told me that I grew up to be a comedian.
Speaker B:Why didn't you look at you now.
Speaker A:Because I'm dumb.
Speaker B:You're more of like that jackass kind of a comedian.
Speaker A:You're not wrong.
Speaker B:No, we got that jackass vibe going on.
Speaker B:I can't wait.
Speaker B:Like, we got a lot of stuff coming up, folks.
Speaker B:We'll be talking about it closer to the end of the show.
Speaker B:But I'm going to need Yalls help up.
Speaker B:We're going to start doing man on the street clips that we're going to be playing here on the podcast as well.
Speaker B:And I need y'all to help me out with questions when I approach people that we're going to ask them questions and to see what they come up with for answers on these questions.
Speaker B:So I'll pick out one question for that day and I will be walking the streets of my neighborhood asking people these questions and hopefully they'll talk to me.
Speaker B:But we're going to find out.
Speaker B:A man in a microphone.
Speaker B:Most people approach a person with a microphone, so we should be all right.
Speaker B:But yeah, we'll be asking these questions.
Speaker B:And then we're also got, we're going to be asking you guys for ideas for dares.
Speaker B:Oh yeah, John, I didn't tell you about that one yet.
Speaker B:So we got that coming up here soon too, Chad.
Speaker B:We'll talk more about that later on.
Speaker B:But let's go to New York right now.
Speaker B:A guy recently in New York got busted on April 23rd for trying to protest a new Starbucks by gluing himself to the counter.
Speaker B:Said their coffee was a capitalist poison.
Speaker B:Baristas called the cops, they peeled him off and he's facing vandalism charges.
Speaker B:X is laughing at sticky activists who espresso hating go drink decaf.
Speaker B:I mean, I, I, I could do without Starbucks.
Speaker D:Same.
Speaker B:I, I'm, I'm a, I like Duncan, but I don't like Duncan.
Speaker B:I'd much rather brew coffee at my house and have me some death wish coffee.
Speaker D:I just like this story.
Speaker D:I mean, like, I'm not all about protesters, but I, I kind of give them, I give them a pass for this one.
Speaker B:John, you really looking like a toothless chipmunk right now.
Speaker B:What the hell's going on?
Speaker D:I feel like the people who go to Bar Bus Star Box deserve to be inconvenienced.
Speaker A:All the watered down dirty gum water coffee.
Speaker B:But you know, I do got to say their Frappuccinos are pretty good.
Speaker B:Once in a gray wall, I will will have their like their caramel frap.
Speaker B:That is delicious.
Speaker A:I could make you a better cup of coffee than Starbucks, could I?
Speaker B:I don't like their coffee.
Speaker B:I like, I just like their Frappuccino.
Speaker B:That cold drink make you a better.
Speaker A:Frappuccino than Starbucks could.
Speaker B:Do you have, do you have a vengeance against Starbucks there, John?
Speaker A:No, not at all.
Speaker A:What do you mean?
Speaker D:You sound a little mental.
Speaker B:Yeah, you sound a little mental over Starbucks.
Speaker B:John, John, John.
Speaker B:What if I told you right now, we get you a job at Starbucks?
Speaker A:That rather slip my wrist.
Speaker D:So there's no amount of money that would get you to work at Starbucks.
Speaker B:Starbucks says, john, we're gonna pay you 30 bucks an hour to work here.
Speaker A:Not a sellout, bro.
Speaker B:John, we're gonna pay you 40 bucks an hour to work at Starbucks.
Speaker A:You understand that I worked for their competition, right?
Speaker A:For like 10 plus years.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:All right, John, we're gonna offer you 50 bucks an hour to work at Starbucks.
Speaker A:No, dude.
Speaker B:John, we're gonna.
Speaker B:We're gonna pay you 130 bucks an hour to work at Starbucks.
Speaker B:Nope.
Speaker B:Plus overtime.
Speaker D:Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker D:Would you rather work at Starbucks for 50 bucks an hour or put your feet on Onlyfeet.com.
Speaker A:Put my feet on Onlyfeet.com.
Speaker B:Do it.
Speaker A:I will not step foot into a Starbucks.
Speaker A:I will not order Starbucks.
Speaker A:I will not drink Starbucks.
Speaker B:I'm curious if anybody only knew.
Speaker A:If you only knew.
Speaker B:Mark, you know, she mentioned only feet, though.
Speaker B:I wonder, has anybody ever made money off of that website?
Speaker B:Has anybody ever sold their feet on a that website?
Speaker B:Only feet.
Speaker B:Oh, feetfinder.com.
Speaker B:whatever the it is.
Speaker A:Listen, no one would buy pictures of my feet.
Speaker B:You would be surprised.
Speaker D:You know what?
Speaker D:I feel like we should put some sort of monetary incentive to this.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Motivated?
Speaker D:No.
Speaker B:Should we get John to create an only feet page, folks, and see if he could sell his feet?
Speaker B:We'll come back, we'll have John create an only feet one page to see if he can sell his feet.
Speaker A:We come back a week later, y'all made about 7k.
Speaker B:Oh, I think that'd be great.
Speaker B:We get John to create an only feet space.
Speaker B:Listen, you ain't got to show your face, right?
Speaker B:You can have a fake name on that profile.
Speaker B:No one to know who you really are.
Speaker B:You're just selling pictures of your feet, you know, pictures of your feet on a carpet.
Speaker B:Pictures of your feet and socks.
Speaker B:I mean, just feet.
Speaker D:And.
Speaker D:And we can put up a page with it.
Speaker D:So when you're looking at his feet, it'll say, you know, something like, I'll write your name with my toes for, like, $10, or I'll pour honey on my foot for like 20.
Speaker B:20, right?
Speaker B:Until we pay you $20 to have you pouring honey on your toes is.
Speaker A:Wrong with you.
Speaker B:You raider, y'all.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I'm serious, though, y'all.
Speaker B:Should we get John to create an only feet page?
Speaker B:His wife can't get mad at that because he's not really doing like an only fans.
Speaker B:He's literally doing than just only feet finder.
Speaker B:Feetfinder.com John will be legitimately just posting pictures of his feet.
Speaker D:Look, Raider's gonna help.
Speaker B:Raider can help manage your feet page.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:Why not let like this is an experiment for this podcast.
Speaker A:I tip 50 to have you put your toes to manage.
Speaker D:I'm telling you, I think we're on to something here, John.
Speaker B:I think we are.
Speaker B:I think we can.
Speaker B:We're trying to help you make money here, John.
Speaker B:We can get you to create feet finder page.
Speaker A:Listen, listen.
Speaker A:My street name for my feet are only mayonnaise to.
Speaker B:Listen.
Speaker B:Hold on John.
Speaker B:Let's, let's look at the page real quick.
Speaker B:Let's go to feetfinder.com.
Speaker B:hold on.
Speaker B:Let's see here.
Speaker B:Let me, let me pull up the page here.
Speaker B:Fer.com.
Speaker B:hold on John.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker B:Now look John.
Speaker B:It does, it does exist, John.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Watch this.
Speaker B:You ready?
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Let me pull it up.
Speaker B:We're going to go over here.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Look John, look.
Speaker D:His name will be mayo.
Speaker B:Look John.
Speaker B:th millions of users and over:Speaker B:Like people are loving those toes, baby.
Speaker B:Listen, if he finds the best website for anyone interested in buying or selling feet content, John, you could sell your feet.
Speaker B:Drizzle some honey on that, John.
Speaker D:Oh God.
Speaker B:Marty, bro.
Speaker B:Marty Mayo.
Speaker B:Wait, where did Marty post here?
Speaker B:Where is he?
Speaker A:He said pull up my web page.
Speaker B:Marty, do you have one?
Speaker B:Oh wait.
Speaker D:Give us the link.
Speaker D:We need the link.
Speaker B:Oh yeah, I don't, I don't think we can just search for your name there, Marty.
Speaker B:Hold on, let's see.
Speaker A:Give me the link.
Speaker B:Oh, we're looking up feet right now.
Speaker B:I just typed in Marte just for shits and giggles.
Speaker B:It's searching.
Speaker D:It's a Raider says, look John, you can make more money.
Speaker D:Let me be your sugar daddy for your feet.
Speaker B:I'm not sure if we're gonna pull up anything.
Speaker B:We're not, we're not, we're not active members on here.
Speaker B:So I don't know.
Speaker B:But if we're just getting a loading screen, they're like you.
Speaker B:We know you're on a.
Speaker B:We know you're on a show right now.
Speaker D:Oh my God.
Speaker B:Oh Lord have mercy.
Speaker B:Come on, John, create a fee finder for us.
Speaker A:Don't be concerned, Satan.
Speaker B:I'm telling you.
Speaker B:We gotta get a fee finder page.
Speaker A:For John we gotta laugh my ass off if we made a fee finder page for me.
Speaker A:And, like, I got seven grand in a week.
Speaker B:Dude, I tell you what, if you may.
Speaker B:Listen, John, you create the fee finder page.
Speaker B:Have Raider help you out with it.
Speaker B:Get your whatever, PayPal thing set up, whatever they do the payments.
Speaker B:If you make.
Speaker B:We'll say you make a couple hundred bucks in one week.
Speaker B:I will create a fee finder page, and then we'll roll out a competition who can sell the most feed picks.
Speaker D:Do it.
Speaker D:Do it.
Speaker B:That's my bet with you, John.
Speaker B:You create it first, you sell a couple hundred dollars worth of feet.
Speaker B:I will create one just for shits and giggles, to see if my feet are worth more than your feet.
Speaker B:What do you say, John?
Speaker B:You want to go in a feet finder competition?
Speaker D:Come on.
Speaker D:It's not like you're putting your life in danger.
Speaker D:This is, like, the easiest thing you could do.
Speaker B:It's not like you're.
Speaker B:You're throwing your sausage out there doing the helicopter at people.
Speaker B:You're just posting your feet.
Speaker B:You'll just wiggle a few toes at a couple of videos and be like, oh, look at my big daddy toe.
Speaker A:I will not slut my toes out.
Speaker B:Oh, that's right.
Speaker B:Marty's got the ass page.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:Marty created a website.
Speaker B:He.
Speaker B:He never fully launched it, but he's got the ass website where he's selling pictures of asses.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:I forgot about that.
Speaker B:He's got the ass or jackasses.
Speaker B:No, no.
Speaker B:Asses, like, people post pictures of their booty.
Speaker D:So, like, are these pictures, like, complete with butthole or, like, just like.
Speaker B:I think he's got, like, whatever they want to post to their booty.
Speaker A:You're telling me I can get a picture of an octopus on my ass cheeks and spread them buttholos the octopus's mouth.
Speaker D:That's kind of clever.
Speaker D:I give you points for that.
Speaker D:Oh, I actually want to see that.
Speaker D:I.
Speaker D:I don't know why I.
Speaker D:I would want to.
Speaker D:Not you per se, but that tattoo.
Speaker B:Google it.
Speaker B:All right, Chad, let's move on here.
Speaker B:We're talking about feet finder.
Speaker B:We'll come back to that bet, though, because I'm not letting go of that bet now.
Speaker B:But in Georgia, a woman got arrested on April 22 for trying to bless her neighbor's dog with a bucket of glitter.
Speaker B:Dumped it all over the pup, claiming it would attract good vibes.
Speaker B:The dog ran off.
Speaker B:The neighbor press charges and exes calling her glitter witch.
Speaker B:You're not blessing, lady.
Speaker B:You're sparkly psycho.
Speaker B:You're a walking arts and crafts disaster.
Speaker B:You imagine having your dog coming home covered in glitter and finding out it was your neighbor?
Speaker D:I mean, as long as it's not in his eyes.
Speaker D:Where's nose Mouth?
Speaker B:She is too nice to these people in these news articles, John.
Speaker D:I like sparkly things, so.
Speaker B:Dear God, what are you looking up over there, John?
Speaker D:Give me the sparkle.
Speaker B:Are you creating your feet finder page, John?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:You're not creating a fee finder just yet.
Speaker D:Are you looking at the picture of the octopus for me so you can send it to me in dms?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker D:Damn it.
Speaker B:I think John.
Speaker B:I think John is getting his feet finder page set up right now.
Speaker B:I think he's legitimately going to be, like, selling his mayo toes.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker D:That's gonna be.
Speaker D:That's gonna be his tagline.
Speaker B:Mayo toes, let's go.
Speaker B:It'll be John with all Mayo's feet on top of mayonnaise jars.
Speaker B:Feeds and dipping into mayo.
Speaker B:Him sucking mayo off his toes.
Speaker A:I wish I could show you my.
Speaker B:Screen, because I'm not.
Speaker D:What are you looking at?
Speaker D:Give us a description.
Speaker A:I'm looking on Google how much I could actually make.
Speaker B:Oh, dear God.
Speaker B:You want.
Speaker B:All right, John, hold on.
Speaker B:I got you, John.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:We'll go over here.
Speaker B:You ready, John?
Speaker B:I will pull it up on the big screen.
Speaker B:Give me one second.
Speaker B:All right, John's now wondering how much he can make off of feet finder.
Speaker B:Let's.
Speaker B:Let's find out.
Speaker B:Oh, wait, I got to change the screen.
Speaker A:The annual rent revenue growth of sellers, which differs from 5,000 to 9,000 monthly.
Speaker B:Holy.
Speaker B:From fee finder.
Speaker A:Yeah, dude, you know what?
Speaker D:I think we're all gonna be making feet finder pages.
Speaker B:What's the average amount of money a male can make on feet finder?
Speaker B:Let's see here.
Speaker B:So we're gonna ask Chad GPT.
Speaker B:This one.
Speaker B:On average, male seller typically makes between 50 to 300 per month if they're posting casually without heavy marketing.
Speaker B:to $:Speaker B:Okay, so this was what Chat GPT came up with.
Speaker B:Let's see what Grock comes up with.
Speaker B:Let me go to Grok.
Speaker B:Rock is Elon's AI.
Speaker B:Let me go to Grok.
Speaker B:All right, we'll ask Grock the same questions.
Speaker B:Grok is more of a up to more up PAR than chat GPT.
Speaker B:Now, Grok is right on average earnings, 150 to 500 per month per picture.
Speaker B:Anywhere between 5 to 25 for beginners.
Speaker B:Top earners.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Exceptional male sellers, particularly those with strong following Arnesia pale eg within the man community can earn significantly more with some reporting 4,000 monthly or higher.
Speaker B:All right, John, can you wear a tutu with your feet and sell the feet in a tutu?
Speaker B:Like if you wore a tutu, John, I think you'd make.
Speaker B:You'd make some damn good money.
Speaker A:I can't do it.
Speaker B:Maybe paint your toenails.
Speaker B:Could you paint your toenails and then take pictures of your feet?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:I mean, don't you already got your fingernails painted?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Because your.
Speaker B:Your daughter did that, right?
Speaker A:No, my daughter didn't do that.
Speaker A:It was a professional nail painter at my work for an event.
Speaker B:Oh, okay.
Speaker B:So can we have that person paint your toenails and take pictures of your feet?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:Why not?
Speaker A:That's weird.
Speaker B:Have your wife.
Speaker A:Let me just.
Speaker A:Dude, let me just call.
Speaker A:Hey, man, real quick.
Speaker A:Let me ask you a question.
Speaker A:Do you think you could paint my toes and take pictures of my feet, please?
Speaker B:Well, Marty's saying they make ankle tutus.
Speaker B:So you could put an ankle tutu on, take a picture of your foot that way.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Ankle jewelry on, like anklets on.
Speaker B:You could really.
Speaker D:And you could incentivize it.
Speaker D:You know, like, you could offer to put some, you know, like write somebody's name on your feet and do like customized photos.
Speaker A:Woody and Toy Story.
Speaker A:In the bottom of my foot.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker F:Oh, my God.
Speaker D:Exactly.
Speaker B:What's going on, brother?
Speaker B:Yeah, like I'm telling you, John.
Speaker B:I'm telling John.
Speaker B:You get it up there, you get yours, you make a couple hundred bucks in a week.
Speaker B:No, it.
Speaker B:If you make $100 in your first week, I will create a fee finder page and join you.
Speaker B:And then we'll compare every week to see who makes the most amount of money on the website.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:This is not going to hurt you.
Speaker D:It's not like a spicy.
Speaker B:You don't have to post a picture of your face, John.
Speaker D:Down.
Speaker D:You're not gonna be bodily injured.
Speaker D:You just have like the safest thing you could do.
Speaker D:Out of all the dumb that could be done.
Speaker D:This is like the safest, easiest win win sort of maneuvering to be done.
Speaker A:Be patriotic and paint your nails red, white and blue.
Speaker D:Absolutely.
Speaker D:And then you do a little star stencil.
Speaker B:I don't know how we went back on the feet.
Speaker B:Finder but let's move on, y'all.
Speaker B:A Missouri man got caught on April 23rd trying to race his neighbor's drone down the street.
Speaker B:Chasing on foot with a butterfly net, screaming it was spying on him.
Speaker B:He tripped, broke his ankle, and the cops charged him with trespassing.
Speaker B:X users are now losing it over drone Hunter.
Speaker B:What do you all think?
Speaker B:Would you chase your neighbor's drone and just let it fly?
Speaker A:I'd let it fly, dude.
Speaker B:I mean, I fly my drone over neighbors homes all the time.
Speaker A:Honestly, bro, I trip naked, give them a show.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Hopefully they're recording it and they can post that on of page or whatever and make the money off of it.
Speaker A:Slather myself in barbecue sauce while they were watching with the drone.
Speaker B:John, you could do that with your toes and make millions.
Speaker D:And we're back to you.
Speaker B:You opened up the door for it.
Speaker B:Okay, I wasn't gonna bring it up, but you opened the door for this.
Speaker B:I'm just saying.
Speaker B:John, shut the.
Speaker D:I'm taking a baseball bat to that drone.
Speaker D:Just saying.
Speaker B:Really?
Speaker B:What do you have against drones?
Speaker D:It's not that I have a thing against drones.
Speaker D:I.
Speaker D:I know this isn't to sound terrible.
Speaker D:My home is my safe space.
Speaker D:And anything that invades that space either from air, Earth, whatever, people, I don't care, I.
Speaker D:It has to go.
Speaker B:All right, so you're saying that to a drone.
Speaker B:So what are you going to do with the.
Speaker B:The low flying helicopters or the private airplanes that are flying over your house though?
Speaker D:I don't want to go to jail, so I'm not going to say anything.
Speaker B:She's not.
Speaker A:You already know she's got a rpg.
Speaker A:Wait.
Speaker B:My safe space.
Speaker D:Listen, you know what if I happen to be having a disco party and there's lasers?
Speaker D:I.
Speaker D:Lasers.
Speaker D:I mean, you know, so.
Speaker D:Disco party.
Speaker D:I didn't know.
Speaker B:Dear God.
Speaker B:Oh, folks in Nevada, a guy got arrested on April 22 for trying to perform a magic trick at a casino.
Speaker B:He set his pants on fire to disappear, but just ran around screaming.
Speaker B:The cops charged him with public disturbance and exes calling him a flaming magician.
Speaker D:Okay, you know what?
Speaker D:That's brilliant because that's great marketing for the hotel.
Speaker D:Everyone's talking about where it happened.
Speaker D:So you know what?
Speaker D:It's a win.
Speaker D:And the hotel should not press charges.
Speaker D:And you know what?
Speaker D:He's already hurt himself.
Speaker D:His problem now they get the win for all the publicity going with the whole.
Speaker A:Any publicity is good publicity.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:I mean, that's why brother says too.
Speaker B:My brother says, yeah, any publicity Is good publicity.
Speaker D:Yeah, it gets people talking about you.
Speaker B:So, John, I was talking about you creating a fee Finder page is going to be great publicity for you.
Speaker B:Twitch page.
Speaker A:You mean the twitch that I don't use anymore?
Speaker B:Correct.
Speaker B:In the podcast, when you create it, we come back next week and we talk about the money you made on Feet Finder.
Speaker B:It's going to be great publicity.
Speaker B:We're going to be publicizing Feet Finder.
Speaker B:I guarantee when I publish this podcast, it's going to be businesses mentioned.
Speaker B:Feet Finder.
Speaker B:John discuss how he's going to dip his toes in barbecue sauce on Feet Finder.
Speaker B:John is going to be named Mayo Toes.
Speaker A:I can literally feel the vein in my forehead throb from your idioc.
Speaker B:I'm telling you, John, you make money.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker D:Is it wrong that I suddenly had an image of, like, sucking barbecue sauce off not John's toes, but my boyfriend's big fat toe?
Speaker D:And I'm just like.
Speaker D:And I'm not about it, but for some reason, I had that image pop up and I was like, ew.
Speaker D:No, but it's barbecue sauce, so maybe.
Speaker D:I don't know.
Speaker B:Things I hear.
Speaker B:Well, they do.
Speaker A:They do say that ranch goes on anything.
Speaker B:Oh, dear God.
Speaker B:John, can you go.
Speaker B:Can you go put ranch on your wife's toes right now and try it out?
Speaker B:Let us know how good ranch is on toes.
Speaker A:She's sleeping.
Speaker A:I'm not waking her up, dude.
Speaker A:I don't want to get shot.
Speaker B:That would be funny as waking her up.
Speaker B:Dribble it, Ranch.
Speaker B:Are those babies?
Speaker B:Listen, we're just talking about on the podcast.
Speaker B:I got.
Speaker B:We gotta see how it tastes.
Speaker B:It's an experiment for the podcast, baby.
Speaker B:We gotta see how ranch tastes on toast.
Speaker A:I wouldn't be around anymore.
Speaker A:You would have to find a new co op.
Speaker B:We'd be sitting here, then John would.
Speaker B:Would not be on cam.
Speaker B:We just hear him scream.
Speaker B:No, baby, no.
Speaker D:I couldn't even imagine.
Speaker D:Oh, you know, never mind.
Speaker B:All right, y'all.
Speaker B:In Oregon, a guy got busted on April 22nd for trying.
Speaker B:Oh, we already.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:What the.
Speaker A:You're an idiot.
Speaker B:Whatever.
Speaker B:We're done.
Speaker B:Let's.
Speaker B:Let's do this.
Speaker B:Let's.
Speaker B:Let's do this.
Speaker B:Let's go to this screen.
Speaker A:Ooh, Ooh.
Speaker B:This is.
Speaker B:This is the time for our viewers to shine.
Speaker A:Wait, do you have.
Speaker B:It works?
Speaker B:I, I, I do not.
Speaker B:You'll have to text it to me because you said she wanted to be on the show.
Speaker B:All right, yeah, text it to me and we'll give Her a call, folks.
Speaker B:Listen, if you want to see John on Feet Finder, you can call to the show right now and let him know.
Speaker B:Express your feelings that you want to see him on Feed finder.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:What a name for her?
Speaker B:Okay, hold on one second, y'all.
Speaker B:Literally, the contact I'm calling is called My Shitty Sister.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker D:My Shitty Sister.
Speaker B:There's got to be a story behind My Shitty Sister.
Speaker D:My lips still hurt.
Speaker D:They're, like, tender.
Speaker B:Not sure if My Shitty Sister is going to answer.
Speaker E:Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
Speaker F:The person you're trying to reach is not available.
Speaker E:At the tone, please record your message.
Speaker F:When you have finished recording, you may hang up.
Speaker G:Mommy?
Speaker G:Mommy, where are you?
Speaker G:You told me you were going to get the milk and you never came home.
Speaker G:Mommy, I thought Daddy was gonna do this, but no, you're the that ran away with the milk this time.
Speaker G:Mommy, Please come home to me.
Speaker G:Mommy.
Speaker B:Well, she didn't answer.
Speaker B:She's probably playing Call of Duty, folks.
Speaker B:The phone number is right there.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:Colin did a show.
Speaker B:Love to hear from y'all.
Speaker B:Right, now, should I try calling her again or should we listen?
Speaker B:Let her listen to the voicemail.
Speaker A:Let her listen to the voice.
Speaker B:Okay, gotcha.
Speaker D:This message has been brought to you by the Mark G Show.
Speaker B:Oh, Lord have mercy.
Speaker B:Y'all call to the show now.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:We want to hear from you.
Speaker B:Five minutes on the line.
Speaker B:Let's see who can be the first call to call in this time.
Speaker B:The first call to call in.
Speaker B:Shiny says she will suck on Satan's toe one more time for y'all.
Speaker D:No, no, because I would have to pull it out of the goddamn garbage can that's filled with, like, milk.
Speaker D:What is this?
Speaker D:Iced tea.
Speaker D:Like, whatever good, nasty stuff I like, put it all in that can with the toe of saying.
Speaker B:You were supposed to save the toe of saying, like, never spit on track.
Speaker B:It's supposed to go back in the container, be ready to rock and roll again.
Speaker D:For what purpose?
Speaker B:You never know when you're gonna need it again.
Speaker A:For those puffy angel.
Speaker B:Yeah, to get those puffy lips.
Speaker D:I would rather suck my boyfriend's big toe and the barbecue sauce off of it then ever put that thing in my ever.
Speaker B:The toe is saying, it's not that bad.
Speaker D:I'm sorry.
Speaker D:I thought my eyeballs were melting from the inside.
Speaker B:Well, quite frankly, they probably were.
Speaker B:It is quite the spicy lollipop.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:I mean, like, my lips still hurt.
Speaker D:Like, what is this?
Speaker B:I mean, it does got good flavor.
Speaker B:I ain't going to lie.
Speaker B:It does taste good.
Speaker B:Good.
Speaker D:I didn't have my lips on it, though.
Speaker D:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker D:Like, my.
Speaker D:The inside of my mouth.
Speaker D:Fine.
Speaker D:My lips still sting.
Speaker D:What the.
Speaker D:What the.
Speaker D:Is.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker B:The phone lines are so quiet right now.
Speaker B:This is horrible.
Speaker D:N.
Speaker D:Watch me, whip.
Speaker D:Watch me nae nay.
Speaker B:This is so horrible.
Speaker B:Why is our phone line so quiet?
Speaker A:Cuz no one wants to call in, right?
Speaker B:No one wants to call in today.
Speaker B:This is horrible.
Speaker B:We finally get the phone lines working.
Speaker B:We got the phone lines wor.
Speaker B:I'm not mean.
Speaker D:Have you heard how you roast people?
Speaker B:Yes, we gotta.
Speaker B:We got.
Speaker B:We need some new people to roast.
Speaker D:They're all like, I don't want to be fresh me.
Speaker B:Oh, Lord have mercy.
Speaker D:I'm looking to be roadkill.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:I'm gonna try this real quick.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:We're gonna try this.
Speaker B:11, 10, 9.
Speaker B:It's only 8:00 his time.
Speaker B:I'm calling them.
Speaker B:I'm calling the newly dad.
Speaker B:What up there, you newly dad.
Speaker B:How you doing, brother?
Speaker E:Just trying to feed the worm.
Speaker B:Trying to feed the what?
Speaker E:The worm.
Speaker B:The worm.
Speaker B:Hey, he calls this kid the worm.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker E:Because he's a worm.
Speaker A:So weird, bro.
Speaker B:I'm gonna turn up his audio worm.
Speaker D:Because he's kind of wiggly or just.
Speaker B:Yeah, he's wiggly.
Speaker E:And he.
Speaker E:You know, he's a newborn, so he doesn't look like a human quite yet.
Speaker D:That's fair.
Speaker A:Tell me this.
Speaker A:You like being a dad?
Speaker E:I love it.
Speaker B:Knew you would.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Now the phone lines are blowing up.
Speaker B:What the.
Speaker B:We call my brother and the phone lines blow up.
Speaker B:I mean, I gotta admit, with them, though, when the kids are first born, they do look like absolute aliens.
Speaker B:Like they have this big bunt that comes out of the back of their head.
Speaker B:You're like, what the that coming out of.
Speaker B:I can't answer it right now.
Speaker B:We got Gary on the line.
Speaker A:Gary, we'll call you back.
Speaker E:Call me back.
Speaker E:Just call me back.
Speaker E:I'm busy.
Speaker B:All right, brother.
Speaker B:Have fun feeding that, kiddo.
Speaker D:Bye.
Speaker B:All right, brother.
Speaker B:Later.
Speaker B:All right, y'all.
Speaker B:We had, like, two missed phone calls coming.
Speaker B:That was crazy.
Speaker B:Y'all.
Speaker B:Y'all want to call in once that we're talking to people?
Speaker B:I see how y'all are?
Speaker B:They're like, oh, you gotta talk to you.
Speaker B:And then next thing you know, we're talking to somebody.
Speaker B:Y'all calling in.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:So I'm gonna go over here and I saw that Marty called.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker A:Go to the unknown number.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I gotta have that unknown number call me back because it did not.
Speaker B:It's not showing up on my list.
Speaker B:Do you know who the unknown was?
Speaker A:I do.
Speaker B:Well, tell that unknown to call back.
Speaker B:Tell the unknown to call back and we will answer it.
Speaker B:We'll wait for the unknown to call back.
Speaker B:I turned up the Bluetooth, so we can actually hear the caller, like, little bit better too.
Speaker B:I realized that their audio is kind of low.
Speaker D:Yay.
Speaker B:All right, Y.
Speaker B:I want people to call in right now.
Speaker B:Maybe you got a life question you want for us?
Speaker B:Maybe we want John.
Speaker B:Ask a question for John and you know, John will be gladly able to answer any life questions that you may have.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker B:For some reason their call didn't ring through, so we're going to call them back.
Speaker B:Where's this area code from?
Speaker B:Howdy.
Speaker B:What's going on?
Speaker B:Caller, you're on the air.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker E:I got a text message saying to call in.
Speaker B:Oh, you're the gentleman, right?
Speaker B:You're the gentleman that John was telling us was having an erectile dysfunction.
Speaker B:Is that correct?
Speaker A:It's not even true.
Speaker A:You lying little.
Speaker B:John said he was going to tell a guy that was having ED issues to call him to the show.
Speaker B:So you must be that gentleman.
Speaker E:Only when I do a lot of hard drugs, but otherwise, you know, I can keep it up and keep going strong.
Speaker B:Gotcha.
Speaker B:Yeah, John said there was one night that you kept it strong in him, made him cry, like a little.
Speaker B:It's quite amazing.
Speaker D:God.
Speaker B:Dude.
Speaker A:Have you figured out who this is?
Speaker B:No, I have not figured out who this is yet, no.
Speaker E:Oh, man.
Speaker B:Did you live with this guy at one point, John?
Speaker E:We did again.
Speaker E:We kept him in a basement for quite a while.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:Like I did.
Speaker B:It seems like that's where everybody likes to keep him is.
Speaker B:In the basement.
Speaker E:Yeah, I mean, I gave him his first dad.
Speaker E:He watched a drive by on my porch.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:Oh, man, our phone lines are.
Speaker B:Oh, now that's.
Speaker B:That's the Tenille lady right there.
Speaker B:Called us back.
Speaker B:Son of a.
Speaker D:Thing.
Speaker E:I love her.
Speaker B:Hold on, let me see if I can bring her in.
Speaker B:I'm not sure if we'll bring you have both of you in here.
Speaker B:Hold on one second here.
Speaker B:Hello and welcome to the Mark G Show.
Speaker B:I'm your AI assistant, here to connect the excitement unfolding on our live broadcast.
Speaker B:Thank you for calling in.
Speaker B:We're thrilled to have you with.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:You still there, caller?
Speaker B:Hello?
Speaker B:Hello?
Speaker B:I hear him.
Speaker E:Hello?
Speaker B:Oh, you're back on.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:She hung up on us.
Speaker B:She hung up on us.
Speaker B:She didn't.
Speaker B:She didn't want to listen to the message.
Speaker B:But now I do know who this is.
Speaker B:I just can't put the name to it.
Speaker B:But you live in a really shitty ass state and you got a shitty ass governor.
Speaker B:I do know who you are, though.
Speaker E:I don't even know who my governor is, bro.
Speaker E:Let me tell you how far into Iraq I am.
Speaker E:I don't feel disrespected.
Speaker E:You don't know who I actually am.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:It's horrible, ain't it?
Speaker B:Wrath.
Speaker E:We've played enough.
Speaker B:It's wrath, right?
Speaker E:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:There, there.
Speaker B:There's the choking.
Speaker B:You're always choking on stream like you're sucking on a huge dildo.
Speaker B:We get it now.
Speaker E:I gotta keep that high going.
Speaker E:My guy.
Speaker B:Yep, exactly.
Speaker A:Listen, listen, chat, listen.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:I've known this man for a handful of years and I've never seen him.
Speaker B:No, the guy lives.
Speaker B:My bow.
Speaker E:I'm about to take another, dad.
Speaker B:Horrible.
Speaker B:Hey, listen, do me a favor.
Speaker B:I've got this 319.
Speaker B:This, this 207 number keeps calling me.
Speaker B:We're going to call this person back.
Speaker B:But listen, man, keep puffing on that pipe and keep doing the things you're doing.
Speaker B:My man.
Speaker E:Just for you, big boy.
Speaker A:I love you, baby.
Speaker B:God, that guy.
Speaker B:Holy.
Speaker B:All right, hold on.
Speaker B:Was it.
Speaker A:He's a animal.
Speaker B:Dude, we're calling this number back now.
Speaker G:Oh, Mommy.
Speaker B:Oh, hi, darling.
Speaker H:You're eight minutes past your curfew.
Speaker H:Where the heck are you?
Speaker G:Mommy, the guy downstairs told me he had a lollipop.
Speaker G:Now I'm in his basement.
Speaker H:Well, I don't care.
Speaker H:Well, what kind of lollipop?
Speaker G:I don't know, is strawberry.
Speaker G:It tastes really good.
Speaker G:He's got this thing down here.
Speaker H:Look, I told you not to go to anybody's house unless they give you a grape lollipop, okay?
Speaker H:Strawberry.
Speaker H:It just ain't worth it.
Speaker G:But listen, it's strawberry.
Speaker G:He's got this cool thing he calls a Fleshlight.
Speaker G:I'm like, oh, it looks like mama's booty.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah?
Speaker H:Well, speaking of booty, you were supposed to change my diaper seven minutes ago.
Speaker H:When you're not here, I'm gonna get a Diaper rash down there.
Speaker G:That's okay.
Speaker G:Daddy says he could change it for you because you always got the shit stains on his wiener.
Speaker H:Well, I don't know.
Speaker H:Your dad's been laying down on the ground for the past 30 minutes.
Speaker H:I've been yelling his name.
Speaker H:He won't get up.
Speaker H:I don't know what's going on.
Speaker H:He's turning purple.
Speaker G:Oh, he must be choking on your black goddess.
Speaker H:No, I haven't found that since I found it in your pillowcase the other week.
Speaker A:Oh, yo, what's up, cats mask?
Speaker G:I.
Speaker G:I think it might be underneath my bed now.
Speaker H:Well, you know what?
Speaker H:If you ain't under your bed, we got some problems.
Speaker H:So which downstairs neighbor is it?
Speaker H:Is it Billy Tom, or is it Tom Billy?
Speaker G:It was both.
Speaker B:Oh, it was both.
Speaker H:Well, you know what?
Speaker H:They owe me some sugar and the other one owes New flower.
Speaker H:They've already come.
Speaker G:Two weeks ago, they told me something that was called a double dipper.
Speaker H:Oh, well, you know what?
Speaker H:If it's gonna be double dipping, they better be paying extra.
Speaker H:I mean, I don't mind selling you to one of them as long as they pay good.
Speaker H:I hope that strawberry lollipop was worth it.
Speaker G:Well, I did, but I told him I was gonna get the strawberry lollipop.
Speaker G:And then this nice man I met named John, he said he was gonna give them some barbecue toes too.
Speaker H:Oh, yeah, Is that that game of folks?
Speaker G:Yes, he's a game sexual, Mom.
Speaker G:He's a great guy.
Speaker H:Yeah, I heard.
Speaker H:I don't know.
Speaker H:I have bad things about that John.
Speaker G:It's amazing.
Speaker G:I saw him take a game controller, shove it right up his ass.
Speaker G:Mom, it was so amazing.
Speaker H:You know what else?
Speaker H:He borrowed one of my bras about two months ago, and I haven't seen it back.
Speaker H:You know, he's got these triple double Ds going on.
Speaker H:That John is no good either.
Speaker G:Mama.
Speaker G:Mama, his nipples are so hard right now.
Speaker G:You should see them.
Speaker G:Like, I can fling when they go.
Speaker G:You can't go.
Speaker H:I don't care.
Speaker H:I.
Speaker H:I don't care.
Speaker H:It's 11 minutes past your curfew.
Speaker H:You go tell Billy Tom and Tom Billy to hurry up and drop off and tell him to take that strawberry Mollie Pop and shove it back up his ass.
Speaker H:And he also can give my big black, you know, whatever the heck y'all see talk and put it right back under your pillow.
Speaker H:And you better be under your bed in the next 10 minutes.
Speaker G:Billy Bob, Mama says that you gotta take that lollipop and shove it up Your ass.
Speaker B:I'm gonna shove it up her ass.
Speaker G:Oh, she'll love that.
Speaker H:Yeah, tell him not to threaten me with a good time, buddy.
Speaker H:I swear to God, he better hurry up before I go down there and I beat him with my flip flop.
Speaker H:He ain't gonna know what's gonna happen.
Speaker G:Mama Said he said he got the toe of Satan lollipop he gotta shove up your ass.
Speaker G:He says he's gonna give you a fiery good time.
Speaker H:Apparently the lollipop he shoved up your father's ass two hours ago made him turn purple.
Speaker H:I think we might need to call the authorities.
Speaker G:Oh, no, Mama, don't do that.
Speaker G:The last time the cops came, they cuffed you to the bed and I heard you screaming, please don't.
Speaker G:Please don't.
Speaker G:Oh, it's so good for like hours.
Speaker G:Mommy, it scared me.
Speaker H:Well, that wasn't me.
Speaker H:That was the cop, actually.
Speaker H:See, things turned for the worse when he tried to handcuff me.
Speaker H:I did a one hoot on him and I said, hey, you better who on that thing?
Speaker H:Because I'mma tell you right now, you ain't going to know what's going to happen.
Speaker H:Big bad boy.
Speaker G:Oh, Mommy.
Speaker G:I'll be up stairs in a minute.
Speaker H:I'll see you soon, darling.
Speaker G:Okay, Mom.
Speaker H:You better bring me a great lollipop.
Speaker G:I will do so, Mommy.
Speaker H:All right, I love you.
Speaker H:Get under your bed.
Speaker H:You got seven minutes.
Speaker G:Okay, Bye bye.
Speaker H:Bye bye.
Speaker B:Jesus.
Speaker B:Welcome to the Mark G Show.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:You never know what to expect on the show.
Speaker A:Ask Cadre, you dumb.
Speaker B:What I say.
Speaker B:The Mark G Show.
Speaker D:Jesus.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:Dear God.
Speaker B:You never know what's going to happen on the show, who we're going to talk to, who's going to call in, who we're going to call.
Speaker B:We do have another person that did try calling in.
Speaker B:We got to call them back now.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker D:Cleansing breaths.
Speaker B:Marty.
Speaker B:Marty, there's a major echo.
Speaker B:Okay, you gotta.
Speaker B:You gotta mute the TV when we call you Mar.
Speaker E:Okay, how about now?
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker B:Are we good?
Speaker B:Yes, sir.
Speaker B:You gota.
Speaker B:You gotta learn to mute that TV when.
Speaker E:I cannot wait.
Speaker E:I cannot wait to see the clips from that.
Speaker B:The clips on that should be epic.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker E:Oh, my God.
Speaker E:That was funny.
Speaker E:Who was that?
Speaker E:That was.
Speaker B:That was.
Speaker B:That was a friend of John.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:Her name's Tenel.
Speaker B:She's great.
Speaker E:Oh, Chamil, you're amazing.
Speaker B:Jesus.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker E:That was freaking awesome.
Speaker E:I think I tinkled a little bit listening to that.
Speaker E:It's so funny.
Speaker B:Fantastic.
Speaker B:Oh, man, that.
Speaker B:That was.
Speaker B:That was a good.
Speaker B:That was a good call.
Speaker B:That was a good call, and that was good.
Speaker E:Oh, my God.
Speaker E:That was the best call.
Speaker E:It's gonna be hard to beat that.
Speaker B:It is very hard to beat that.
Speaker B:We'll have to.
Speaker B:Folks, if y'all think you can beat that phone call.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:See what y'all got.
Speaker B:Call the Chaos Cadre Crew.
Speaker B:Not the Mark G Show.
Speaker B:The Chaos Kre.
Speaker B:The Mark G show's tomorrow, but Chaos Kre now.
Speaker B:Holly people, right?
Speaker B:Marty, how you been, my man?
Speaker E:Game sexual.
Speaker B:Yes, y'all.
Speaker B:I've been good.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Did you say game sexual, by the chance?
Speaker B:Yeah, he did.
Speaker B:He did.
Speaker B:Oh, damn.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:I don't have that loaded up here.
Speaker B:Son of a.
Speaker B:It's not on.
Speaker E:What the hell?
Speaker B:It's not on the screen.
Speaker B:We got.
Speaker A:Hi, my name is John S.
Speaker A:And I'm a Game sexual.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker D:God, that just doesn't get old.
Speaker B:It doesn't.
Speaker B:Not at all.
Speaker B:I could replay that on replay over and over again.
Speaker B:So, Marty, you'll have to watch, since you came in late, Marty, you'll have to watch at the beginning of the show.
Speaker B:We played that right before the intro started.
Speaker B:It was great.
Speaker E:Oh, okay.
Speaker B:Yeah, we.
Speaker E:We.
Speaker E:When you load it tomorrow or whatever.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So, Marty, I do got a question for you, though, you know, because the show is.
Speaker B:We're going.
Speaker B:We're roughing right around an hour and 45 minutes to two hours when we cut off.
Speaker B:But I got a question for you.
Speaker B:What are your opinions on John starting up a feat finder page?
Speaker E:I think it's a fantastic idea.
Speaker B:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker B:Do you think he should start it up?
Speaker B:And do you agree with.
Speaker B:Do you agree with the bet that I made?
Speaker B:He could do a bunch of videos in a day with his feet like.
Speaker E:You can paint your toenails on.
Speaker B:What about dipping his toes in mayo, though?
Speaker B:Do you think that'd get him some good views and buyers on there?
Speaker E:Oh, yeah.
Speaker E:Mayo, ketchup, salsa.
Speaker B:What about a little bit of a bukaki?
Speaker B:Toes, too, where he spanks.
Speaker B:Little bit.
Speaker B:Just let it dribble on his toes.
Speaker E:E.
Speaker B:Where you going, John?
Speaker B:Where you going?
Speaker D:Come back here.
Speaker B:He just left us, Marty.
Speaker B:He left us.
Speaker E:I can't tell because your video and this sound is not insane, so it's really weird.
Speaker B:It's what?
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker E:Wait, I'm watching on YouTube but talking to you.
Speaker E:It's not in sync with the YouTube.
Speaker B:Oh, gotcha.
Speaker B:Yeah, we got that little bit of a delay going on.
Speaker D:You know, he could fake the bukkake.
Speaker B:He could fake that easily.
Speaker B:Just put a little mayonnaise on the toes.
Speaker B:He left y'all for Mama Betty.
Speaker B:Oh, no, see, we're talking about jizzing a little bit and he had to go shove his mouth.
Speaker B:You see how that works?
Speaker E:Yeah, See, like right now.
Speaker E:Right now, he just left the screen on YouTube.
Speaker B:Oh, he just left the screen now on YouTube.
Speaker B:That is crazy.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:I wonder how lagged out it is.
Speaker E:A major delay.
Speaker B:Because right now we are doing phenomenal on x.
Speaker B:There's like 18 people right now watching on X.
Speaker B:It's crazy.
Speaker E:Oh, that's fantastic.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker E:18, 19, 20, 29 people.
Speaker B:Yeah, we're bouncing between 29 and 30.
Speaker B:Like, I gotta give a shout out to everybody on the show.
Speaker B:And everybody's called in.
Speaker B:Like, our viewership keeps increasing every week.
Speaker B:It's amazing.
Speaker B:True story.
Speaker B:Shout out to everybody.
Speaker B:Tuning in.
Speaker B:He just showed back up.
Speaker B:Well, the good thing is he has a mouthful.
Speaker B:Now he's sucking on a metal pipe.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Listen, I didn't eat when I got home from work and stuff before I stopped from laughing so hard.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker E:And shy or shiny.
Speaker E:So it's something, right?
Speaker B:And Tenille.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, you are.
Speaker B:That was a good phone call, Tenille.
Speaker B:Seems like everybody's waiting for the clips on that one.
Speaker B:When I make the clips on.
Speaker B:On your phone call.
Speaker B:So your clips may not be able to go on TikTok, but they'll definitely be on YouTube and Facebook.
Speaker B:They will not survive.
Speaker B:Tick tock.
Speaker A:We're definitely getting canceled by week 10.
Speaker E:It's not that far behind for you on YouTube.
Speaker A:No, it's not.
Speaker A:According to Mama Betty made it worth it.
Speaker E:Yeah, Mama baby made it totally worth it.
Speaker B:Listen, Marty, I just want to call you back, sir, and say thank you for everything you've done to the show.
Speaker B:Thank you for torturing John.
Speaker B:And we are going to try our best to convince John to create a only feet finder page.
Speaker B:Because listen, it's the ultimate bet, right?
Speaker B:I told him if he makes a hundred dollars on there, I will also create a feat finder page and we will do it together and we'll compare who makes the most amount of money from their feet for shits and giggles.
Speaker E:That's a very good idea.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker E:Because I.
Speaker E:I tried something on my site.
Speaker E:What did I call it?
Speaker E:Rear view of your Rear dot com.
Speaker E:And that's just expensive.
Speaker E:It's like hundreds of thousands of dollars to set that up.
Speaker A:Interlock.
Speaker B:Interlock to.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker B:Job.
Speaker B:We can interlock toes even.
Speaker D:I would pay for that.
Speaker D:I would pay to see that.
Speaker B:There go.
Speaker D:That would be hilarious.
Speaker A:Hold on.
Speaker A:How much you willing to pay?
Speaker D:How interlocking are we going?
Speaker B:All the way.
Speaker A:Interlocked.
Speaker D:All the way down.
Speaker A:All the way down.
Speaker A:Interlocked.
Speaker D:I could.
Speaker D:I could probably see my way cleared to three bills.
Speaker A:Bet.
Speaker B:John will be at my house tomorrow.
Speaker B:I'll wake up somebody knock on my door.
Speaker B:Mark, get in here.
Speaker B:We gotta put our toes together, baby.
Speaker B:Get in here.
Speaker B:Mark.
Speaker B:Nothing sexual.
Speaker B:We just gotta interlock our toes.
Speaker A:Open the door.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker E:That's funny.
Speaker B:Oh, man, Marty.
Speaker B:Thank you, sir.
Speaker B:I'm gonna open up the lines for anybody else that wants to call in.
Speaker B:Sir.
Speaker B:But I did want to call you back because it's always a pleasure to have you on the lines.
Speaker A:Marty.
Speaker A:We love you, bro.
Speaker E:It's always a pleasure.
Speaker E:You guys are awesome.
Speaker E:Keep it up.
Speaker E:We'll grow this.
Speaker B:We appreciate you, sir.
Speaker B:Take care, Mark.
Speaker D:Good night.
Speaker E:Bye.
Speaker B:Folks, call into the show right now.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:This is the part of the show where y'all can call in if it starts getting too dead.
Speaker B:We're just gonna say it and leave.
Speaker B:But if y'all got anything y'all want to say to us, feel free to call in.
Speaker B:In the meantime, let me tell y'all a little something here.
Speaker B:Let me get some other.
Speaker B:Out of the way, cuz.
Speaker B:Listen up, you degenerate.
Speaker B:Discord podcast.
Speaker B:Listening.
Speaker B:We're cracking open the gates of hell for you twisted ideas on the man on the street segments and future dares for me and John.
Speaker B:Let's see how up y'all can get.
Speaker B:Head over to our Discord.
Speaker B:The link is in the bio.
Speaker B:Or go to chaos cadre.com.
Speaker B:find the suggestions channel and drop your most unhinged ideas for what I should ask random strangers on the street in Maine plus dares that'll make me and John wish we were never born.
Speaker B:We're talking man on the street segments where I'm out there stirring up chaos with insane questions and dares that'll push us to the edge.
Speaker B:Bring your worst, you sick fucking bastards.
Speaker B:Listen, for man on the street segments, I'll be hitting the pavement asking random people the most unhinged questions you can dream up.
Speaker B:So make them good.
Speaker B:Suggest something like me walking into a farmer's market asking old ladies, would you rather fuck a tractor or a scarecrow?
Speaker B:Watch those fucking grannies clutch their pearls and swing their organic carrots at me while I run for my life.
Speaker B:Or how about me at a dog park, asking owners, if your dog was a porn star, what would their stage name be?
Speaker B:I'll get answers like Fido, fucker, before some Karen six her little poodle on me, you twisted.
Speaker B:And for the dares.
Speaker B:We need you to make us suffer for your entertainment.
Speaker B:Push us to the brink, you sadistic.
Speaker B:Dare me to chug a bottle of expired hot sauce while standing in a Walmart aisle screaming, I'm the salsa king until I puke on a display of canned beans.
Speaker B:They'll ban me for life and I'll deserve it, you evil bastards.
Speaker B:Or make John wear a thong made of jalapenos into a jumping jack in public park.
Speaker B:Let him scream as the peppers burn his pathetic little dick collapsing in a sweaty heap while joggers film his shame for TikTok.
Speaker B:Drop your suggestions on discord, you degenerate lunatics.
Speaker B:Let's see how much chaos y'all can unleash on us next.
Speaker D:Doesn't that count as a spicy challenge?
Speaker D:And his wife said, no spicy.
Speaker B:Not necessarily.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's only if he eats it.
Speaker B:He's not eating it.
Speaker B:He's not digesting.
Speaker D:Specify that we.
Speaker B:He never specified.
Speaker A:So that's why we said no more spicy challenges.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So therefore, this is not spicy.
Speaker B:It's not spicy.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:So Tenel said, probably should not ask me to do that with a bunch of evil.
Speaker B:Do it.
Speaker B:Post the suggestions and we'll take a vote.
Speaker B:And in the admin section to figure out which one we will do.
Speaker B:And then we will go with it.
Speaker D:Come on.
Speaker D:Bring the punishment.
Speaker B:So listen, y'all, we have a whole setup, okay?
Speaker B:So we got.
Speaker B:We've got the wireless microphone set now, which is awesome.
Speaker B:That was sent to me by Rode, so.
Speaker B:So y'all can see we got the little wireless microphones now.
Speaker B:We got this.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We got this cool new handy dandy microphone that they sent with me that the wireless motion that the wireless mic goes into.
Speaker B:So literally, we'll be talking to people going, hey, what's this?
Speaker B:You know, interviewing their asses.
Speaker B:It'll be great.
Speaker B:And then I've got this cool thing to make my filmography a lot better on screen.
Speaker B:It comes with, like, two little handles here.
Speaker B:I can hold up.
Speaker B:Somebody calling, Nope, we got this.
Speaker B:Cool.
Speaker B:Like I guess they call it a cage for the phones, for recording.
Speaker B:Now, so we just take this bad boy here and we.
Speaker B:Where the is it?
Speaker B:You stick it in a hole like this.
Speaker B:Boom.
Speaker B:And you can record and actually get the done professionally.
Speaker D:Well, with five kids, we know you know how to stick it in the hole.
Speaker B:Yes, my wife will agree to that.
Speaker B:100.
Speaker D:Just saying.
Speaker B:And there's a reason why we both said after the fifth, it was time to get snipped.
Speaker B:Speaking of getting snipped, I was.
Speaker B:Did you?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:100.
Speaker D:Okay, I need details.
Speaker D:I want to know how, I want.
Speaker B:To know why, what they do.
Speaker B:All right, I'll explain the snipping process.
Speaker B:But before I do that, I will say, it's funny.
Speaker B:I was doing a tick tock battle the other day with a guy who said he had four kids.
Speaker B:I say, okay, so after the fourth, are you gonna get snipped?
Speaker B:He goes, no, after my fifth kid, I'm gonna get snipped.
Speaker B:I said, good man.
Speaker B:I said, that's what I did.
Speaker B:I wait till my fifth kid and I got snipped.
Speaker B:And I told him the details and his face just went.
Speaker B:I'm not getting that done.
Speaker B:So let me explain to everybody.
Speaker B:Getting snipped may sound bad, but it's not as bad as it sounds.
Speaker B:The doctor gives you what's called a happy pill.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:What's this?
Speaker B:I did.
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:I'm clicking on the wrong screen over here.
Speaker B:Let me go to Chad over here.
Speaker B:I dare John to run down Mark street screaming, ow, my hurts.
Speaker B:While wearing a whitey tighty with a chocolate poop stain with a helmet on a rainbow socks.
Speaker B:Oh, man, that one.
Speaker B:My wife would probably knock John out with a baseball bat to get off my streets.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:She chased me down the street.
Speaker B:Wait, we could have John do that.
Speaker B:The gazebo, a water street.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:But anyways, back to what I'm saying.
Speaker B:Listen, the doctor gives you all a happy pill.
Speaker B:You take this pill.
Speaker B:I can't remember what the hell it is, but it makes you happy.
Speaker B:You're going doctors with a smile on your face.
Speaker B:Hi, buddy.
Speaker B:I'm here to get my clip.
Speaker B:And the doctor will bring you in and he'll sit you down, he'll revisit everything.
Speaker B:Say, you sure you want to get this done?
Speaker B:Mind you, they do an interview with you first to make sure it is what you really want done.
Speaker B:He'll be sure you want.
Speaker B:Yep, yep.
Speaker B:I don't want no more kids.
Speaker B:Let's get it done.
Speaker B:Doc's like okay, I'm gonna have you lay down.
Speaker B:First thing you're gonna do is gonna feel it got kicked in the nuts.
Speaker B:And then after that you won't feel nothing.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:He shows you the needle like a prick.
Speaker B:He holds up the needle squirts and you watch a little juice come out of the needle.
Speaker B:Go.
Speaker B:You're like.
Speaker B:And next thing you know, he grabs your sack and he goes, boom.
Speaker B:Sticks the needle and you.
Speaker B:Oh, you don't feel nothing after that.
Speaker B:Then he sticks the second one and he numbs it up a little bit more.
Speaker B:You don't feel the second poke.
Speaker B:The doctor goes, you want to see something really cool?
Speaker B:Watch over the blanket.
Speaker B:So you watch over the blanket and you can see him because he snips away.
Speaker B:And then you see this little cloud of smoke puff ups.
Speaker B:Like the smoke comes over the blanket.
Speaker B:That's him soldering off your nut sag.
Speaker B:The little pipe that came out of there, he's burning off the end.
Speaker B:So, you know, cuts off so there's no more blood circulation going through there.
Speaker B:Just watch it.
Speaker B:You see the little puff, it goes.
Speaker B:You're like, oh, smoke coming out of my nuts.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:So you got the smoke coming out of your nuts.
Speaker B:You're like, this is great.
Speaker B:So then the doctor stitches you up.
Speaker B:And then when he's done, this doctor, I had like, you want to see the tube?
Speaker B:He shows his little wiggly tube that came out of your nutsack.
Speaker B:You're like, this is what I cut out of you.
Speaker B:You're like, oh, that's cool.
Speaker B:Just all the happy pills.
Speaker B:So you're like, that's cool.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:And then afterwards, yeah, you go home and the pain starts settling.
Speaker B:You're like, my life.
Speaker B:Why did I do this?
Speaker B:The pain comes in.
Speaker B:So you're grabbing anything out of your freezer.
Speaker B:You're grabbing frozen steak, frozen veggies, and you're just laying there.
Speaker B:You're out for a day and a half.
Speaker B:And then after that you're going.
Speaker B:And there's.
Speaker B:You get phantom pains once in a while.
Speaker B:Yes, you do get phantom pains.
Speaker B:You will feel.
Speaker B:Your nuts feel like they got kicked here and they like, oh, but they go away within like a couple of minutes.
Speaker D:So start to finish.
Speaker D:This was what, three days, five days?
Speaker D:Well, start to finish, like, no ghost pains, Nothing?
Speaker B:Well, no, you still get the ghost pains.
Speaker B:I still get ghost pains.
Speaker D:Really?
Speaker B:Yes, I still get ghost pains once in a while.
Speaker D:And how long ago did you have it done?
Speaker B:I got this done.
Speaker B:Let's see my fifth child right now.
Speaker B:He's seven years old, about ready to be eight.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker D:Wow.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker D:That's crazy.
Speaker B:Oh yeah.
Speaker B:What's this?
Speaker D:Oh my God.
Speaker B:I dare Mark to get on his rove, meowing like a cat while licking his hands like a cat.
Speaker B:And John yells, listen, get off the roof.
Speaker B:You can't lick yourself up there.
Speaker B:Only in the bedroom.
Speaker B:Sad part is my neighbors would be out there filming, laughing their asses off.
Speaker B:My neighbors would love that.
Speaker B:The John one, they might not like that one so much because of all the kids.
Speaker B:But the roof one.
Speaker B:Oh, my neighbors would love.
Speaker B:But it'll be really hard to get on my roof now because I got the solar panels from hell on my roof now.
Speaker D:That sucks.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker D:Do it on John's roof.
Speaker B:Well, right.
Speaker B:We could do it on John's.
Speaker B:No, cuz we probably get shot.
Speaker B:That John lives in a neighborhood where people are shooting each other every day.
Speaker D:Out there in Maine.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:See where John lives.
Speaker B:I've listened where John lives.
Speaker B:There's an influx of illegals there.
Speaker A:Hold on.
Speaker D:I can't make this work in my brain.
Speaker A:Hold on.
Speaker A:Let me just.
Speaker A:No, no.
Speaker A:Let me describe my city.
Speaker B:The garage roof has solar panels too.
Speaker B:Tenille, we got so many solar panels.
Speaker A:I live in a city in Maine that would be classified as the armpit of Maine.
Speaker A:It is so dirty and grungy.
Speaker A:And there are black on black hate crimes between Somalians and some other bags doing right now.
Speaker B:Caller, you're on the air.
Speaker B:You just got on the air, caller.
Speaker B:All they heard was bags.
Speaker B:What do you do?
Speaker E:Would that's exact.
Speaker A:What's up, you degenerate?
Speaker E:Being a degenerate, obviously.
Speaker E:At least not being a like you guys right now.
Speaker E:God damn.
Speaker A:For anyone that doesn't know this is my buddy, Risky.
Speaker A:Risky Faith.
Speaker A:I'm not going to give his real.
Speaker E:Name more than a buddy.
Speaker B:We're lovers.
Speaker A:Remind you guys.
Speaker B:Wait, wait, you're saying lovers?
Speaker B:How much of a lover have you been to John?
Speaker B:Did you show him a good time with Astro Glide kind of lover or did you.
Speaker E:We have three kids.
Speaker B:Oh, okay.
Speaker B:Who.
Speaker B:Who gave birth?
Speaker E:John gave the first two.
Speaker D:So are you like a power top.
Speaker A:Or just, you know.
Speaker B:Now?
Speaker B:Is it true that John's.
Speaker B:John screams like a little.
Speaker E:Oh, 100.
Speaker E:It.
Speaker E:It's weird because it goes from screaming to this.
Speaker E:You know, it's like a secretive yell.
Speaker E:It's.
Speaker E:It's hard to distinguish, but once you hear it, you'll understand.
Speaker D:Is this like a Dom Sub thing or.
Speaker D:You know, it's just man on man love.
Speaker A:Man on man Love.
Speaker E:Yes, yes.
Speaker E:That's pretty much what it is right there.
Speaker A:Listen, let me.
Speaker A:Let me tell you how this all started.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker B:All right, tell us.
Speaker A:Sean, you met her.
Speaker A:We met each other at the mall, and he was in the stall next to me.
Speaker B:Were you lying on the floor in this bathroom like you were some other bathrooms?
Speaker A:Nah, dude.
Speaker B:Oh, okay.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker E:It was after I heard him make the sound.
Speaker E:I had to introduce myself.
Speaker D:Tenille, maybe.
Speaker D:So maybe.
Speaker A:Listen, listen.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:He was in the style next to me.
Speaker A:Our toesies touched.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker A:They interlock.
Speaker B:Oh, your toes interlocked before this.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker D:Were you wearing sandals or something?
Speaker A:Well, yeah.
Speaker B:Sandals In a public bathroom.
Speaker A:He took his boots off and everything.
Speaker A:Dude.
Speaker A:See them toes?
Speaker B:Daddy, I'm getting ready.
Speaker E:I'm getting ready.
Speaker B:I'm taking one.
Speaker D:Okay, okay.
Speaker D:Just checking.
Speaker E:No, this is called a switch thing.
Speaker E:Actually, it's a switch.
Speaker D:Wow.
Speaker D:Best of both worlds.
Speaker D:I'm.
Speaker D:I'm impressed.
Speaker E:See, you understand.
Speaker E:You know what's going on around here.
Speaker A:Yes, sir.
Speaker D:So the foot tapping is how it all started.
Speaker D:You gave out the call sign.
Speaker B:Now, did John ask you if you could spare a square?
Speaker E:Nobody circle?
Speaker A:I absolutely love how this show turns me into, like, the biggest, gayest man.
Speaker B:John, you are 100 the gayest.
Speaker A:Hi, my name is John S.
Speaker A:And I'm a game sexual.
Speaker D:Oh, good lord.
Speaker E:It's also how he starts with selling a circle is with an S.
Speaker E:Nice.
Speaker B:John S.
Speaker B:Hi, my name is John S.
Speaker B:And I'm a game sexual.
Speaker A:You're a little curvy, John.
Speaker D:To the left or right?
Speaker B:To the left to left.
Speaker A:Everything in the box.
Speaker A:Box to the left.
Speaker E:I was gonna say, bro.
Speaker E:Everything you owned was already to the left.
Speaker E:You already took it.
Speaker E:You already took it.
Speaker E:Remember, we're supposedly in the middle of the divorce right now.
Speaker A:We are?
Speaker E:I don't even know why I'm calling.
Speaker B:What are you trying.
Speaker E:Kids just don't love you no more.
Speaker B:What are you trying to get out of this divorce from John?
Speaker B:What is it that you want from John?
Speaker B:Maybe we can help you out here.
Speaker E:Another kid?
Speaker B:You want another kid, John, you're gonna have to push out another one.
Speaker E:I want another kid.
Speaker E:I'll walk away.
Speaker E:It's fine.
Speaker A:You can.
Speaker A:You can.
Speaker E:Oh, that's fine with me.
Speaker E:There's another kid right there.
Speaker E:The rekindle is over.
Speaker E:It's all gone.
Speaker D:There you go.
Speaker D:Problems all solved by a kid.
Speaker A:If only it was.
Speaker A:Yeah, right.
Speaker E:He'll be calling me tomorrow, begging me back again.
Speaker B:John, how many times have you begged to take this man back?
Speaker A:Oh, dude, so many you don't even understand.
Speaker D:Wait, wait.
Speaker D:Give us your best bag.
Speaker D:What does it sound like?
Speaker A:I just call him and say, I need you in my life.
Speaker A:Daddy.
Speaker E:Usually works.
Speaker E:I'm probably drunk by the time he calls me most of the time.
Speaker E:You know, booty calls, a booty call.
Speaker B:Sad part is they can't hear that voice.
Speaker B:Damn it.
Speaker A:Don't sell animal bark.
Speaker A:Tenille says don't sell animal bark.
Speaker E:She didn't sell.
Speaker E:He didn't sell.
Speaker E:Okay, he traded.
Speaker A:I traded for my freedom.
Speaker E:Big difference.
Speaker E:Oh, okay, now, now he traded for his freedom.
Speaker E:That's, that's why he's still here.
Speaker B:I mean, I, I, I can kind of believe this whole story, especially where John was a seaman.
Speaker B:They trained all their seamen quite well, you know, all the seamen were trained well.
Speaker B:How to wear dresses, take facials.
Speaker E:It makes so much sense.
Speaker E:He's naval to gargle because he loves that, that it makes so much sense.
Speaker B:They love them, the gargle.
Speaker B:You know, anybody who's been in a submarine, they definitely know how to gargle.
Speaker D:Yeah, he gave me lessons 100%.
Speaker E:Why do you think?
Speaker E:Why do you think?
Speaker E:We had three kids and I just, I just asked for a fourth one.
Speaker E:I understand.
Speaker E:Like, you guys at this point should understand, too.
Speaker E:We all know, we don't know.
Speaker E:It blows.
Speaker E:Bubbles.
Speaker A:Ten's comment, bro.
Speaker A:Listen, Risky, no one has freedom.
Speaker A:Everyone is a slave to Mark at this moment.
Speaker A:He keeps all of us in his face.
Speaker E:I disagree, dude.
Speaker E:I disagree.
Speaker E:When I'm sitting here for the five minutes you're underneath, there's straight freedom.
Speaker A:Well, Risky, we appreciate you calling in, brother.
Speaker A:We made your night a little bit better.
Speaker B:Risky, we do definitely appreciate you.
Speaker B:When this podcast ends, we'll make sure John John heads on over there and gives you the best Rimmer of your life.
Speaker E:I don't have to worry about that.
Speaker E:It's going to happen either way.
Speaker D:Oh, boy.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'll call it a show.
Speaker B:We still got, we still got some time.
Speaker B:-:Speaker B:Colin.
Speaker B:Oh, man, it's great.
Speaker B:Loving the show tonight.
Speaker B:Help me.
Speaker B:I've been in here for too long.
Speaker B:I think I have a beard now.
Speaker B:Please let me me out.
Speaker B:Oh, balls.
Speaker B:This is great.
Speaker B:Love it.
Speaker B:This have been a good show.
Speaker B:I'm not sure seriously.
Speaker D:Think I tinkled a little.
Speaker B:Dude, the phone calls tonight have been epic.
Speaker B:I've been loving the phone calls, loving the phone system tonight.
Speaker B:I guess it does help when you update the PC, update the iPad, and update the soundboard.
Speaker B:Things do seem to work properly.
Speaker B:A little bit better when you, you, when you update things.
Speaker B:So, John, what have we learned today in the show?
Speaker A:Apparently, I'm a raging homo.
Speaker B:It seems like you have some issues, John.
Speaker B:Maybe.
Speaker B:Maybe.
Speaker B:Hold on, John.
Speaker B:Maybe we should bring the psychiatrist out.
Speaker B:Folks, hold on to any phone calls.
Speaker B:It's time to bring out the psychiatrist for John.
Speaker B:Stand by.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker B:I'm going to bring the psychiatrist into the show.
Speaker B:Y'all hold on one second, please.
Speaker A:Tr.
Speaker B:Hold on one second.
Speaker B:Oh, I found a psychiatrist right there.
Speaker B:I just got to bring it back in.
Speaker B:Hold on one second.
Speaker B:Where'd she go?
Speaker B:Damn it.
Speaker B:All right, all right.
Speaker B:We gotta, we gotta bring in the psychiatrist, John.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker D:Who knew you had one on call?
Speaker B:Hey, Ara, we're here with John.
Speaker B:He's a, he's a categorized game, sexual, and we feel like you might be the best person to talk to.
Speaker B:Oops.
Speaker B:Hold up.
Speaker I:No worries.
Speaker I:I'm here to chat with John or anyone else who wants to dive in.
Speaker I:Since you mentioned John's demisexual identity, I'd love to hear more about what that means to him.
Speaker I:How does he experience attraction and what's been his journey with it?
Speaker I:I'm all ears for whatever he's comfortable sharing what's on his mind today.
Speaker A:Okay, I'll tell you, but it's got to stay between us.
Speaker I:Absolutely.
Speaker B:I hear you.
Speaker I:Whatever you share stays private, just between us.
Speaker I:So what's on your mind?
Speaker I:Ready to dive into what's been going on with you or John?
Speaker B:This is John talking right now.
Speaker B:I'm going to stop talking and John's going to talk you to you from here on out.
Speaker I:Got it?
Speaker I:John, thanks for stepping in.
Speaker I:I'm here to listen and talk through whatever's on your mind.
Speaker I:What's something you've been thinking about lately, maybe around your identity as demisexual or just life in general?
Speaker A:I, I, I just want to know why I'm so attracted to video game and video game accessories, like shoving controllers up my ass.
Speaker I:All right, John, I appreciate you being open about this.
Speaker I:It sounds like you're exploring some unique attractions.
Speaker I:And that's okay.
Speaker I:Everyone's got their own way of connecting with what feels good or exciting.
Speaker I:Let's unpack this a bit.
Speaker I:When you say you're attracted to video games and accessories in this way, is it more about the physical sensation, the emotional connection to gaming, or something else?
Speaker I:Like what's the draw for you when you think about it?
Speaker I:And how does this tie into your demisexual identity, if at all?
Speaker A:I guess the draw would be that it makes me feel good and I don't care about anyone else.
Speaker B:And I'm not a demisexual.
Speaker B:I'm a game sexual.
Speaker I:Okay, John, thanks for clarifying that.
Speaker I:It sounds like you've coined your own term, game sexual, which is cool.
Speaker I:You're defining what feels right for you.
Speaker I:The fact that it makes you feel good and it's just about you, not anyone else, is a big part of it.
Speaker I:Let's dig a little deeper.
Speaker I:Is it the act itself, like the physical side?
Speaker I:Or is there something about the games or controllers, like their design, the vibe of gaming that sparks that feeling?
Speaker I:And how's this been for you?
Speaker I:Like, is it something you're totally at peace with or something you're still figuring out?
Speaker A:Listen, I love the feel of joystick right up my asshole.
Speaker A:My poop shoot.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:I don't give a what anyone says.
Speaker I:All right, John, I hear you loud and clear.
Speaker I:You're owning what feels good to you and you're not worried about judgment.
Speaker I:That's a strong place to be.
Speaker I:It sounds like the physical sensation is the main thing here and you're cool with it.
Speaker I:I respect that confidence.
Speaker I:I'm curious though.
Speaker I:Is this something you just enjoy solo, or do you ever feel like connecting with others who might get it?
Speaker I:Maybe.
Speaker A:I do a solo.
Speaker A:Bro, I'm embarrassed.
Speaker F:Hey, I hear you, and it's okay to feel embarrassed sometimes.
Speaker F:It's superhuman.
Speaker F:Doing a solo podcast can feel vulnerable.
Speaker B:No, no, no.
Speaker B:All right, all right.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:John was talking to the other shrink, but we feel like he needs to talk to you, not the male shrink.
Speaker B:I've got my buddy John, and he's going to talk to you about his problems.
Speaker B:You see, John is a game sexual.
Speaker B:He loves to take game controllers and any other foreign objects that game devices have.
Speaker B:It shoves them straight up his ass, and he doesn't use any lube whatsoever.
Speaker B:It's kind of freaky.
Speaker B:He needs help.
Speaker F:Okay.
Speaker F:I'm glad you're reaching out for your buddy John, and it sounds like you're really concerned about him.
Speaker F:I'm here to listen and offer some thoughts with care.
Speaker F:It seems like John's engaging in some behaviors that might be risky or harmful, especially if he's not using any precautions like lubrication, which could lead to physical injury or discomfort.
Speaker F:I'm not here to judge.
Speaker F:Everyone's got their unique ways of expressing, exploring pleasure, or coping, but safety and self care are super important.
Speaker F:Can you tell me a bit more about what's going on With John.
Speaker B:All right, I'm actually going to let John speak to you.
Speaker B:I'm going to sit back and be quiet.
Speaker B:You're now speaking with John.
Speaker F:All right, John, I'm here for you.
Speaker F:Thanks for being open to talk.
Speaker F:It sounds like there's a lot going on, and I want to understand where you're at with everything.
Speaker F:Can you share a bit about what's been happening or how you're feeling about these behaviors?
Speaker F:No pressure, just whatever you're comfortable with.
Speaker A:Bitch.
Speaker A:You're here for me.
Speaker A:Have you not been listening?
Speaker A:I'm sick and twisted, and I love shoving game controllers up my ass.
Speaker A:What the fuck is wrong with you.
Speaker F:John?
Speaker F:I hear that you're feeling intense and maybe frustrated, and I'm listening.
Speaker F:It sounds like this is a big part of how you're expressing yourself right now, and I want to understand you better.
Speaker F:There's nothing wrong with exploring your desires, but I'm concerned about your safety since you mentioned not using lube, which could cause harm.
Speaker F:Can you tell me how this started for you or what it means to you?
Speaker B:Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker B:All right, I gotta.
Speaker B:We're gonna have some more fun with this.
Speaker B:Hold on one second, y'all.
Speaker B:I am gonna.
Speaker B:I'm gonna swap this up, and we are gonna go to.
Speaker B:Hold on, John.
Speaker B:We are going unhinged.
Speaker B:Ara.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:All right, John.
Speaker B:Ready?
Speaker B:Hold on.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker G:All right.
Speaker B:I'm here with my buddy John, and he's going to be speaking with you.
Speaker B:Listen, he has a major issue.
Speaker B:He is shoving foreign gaming objects up his.
Speaker B:Like he's not even using Astro Glide.
Speaker B:It's horrible.
Speaker B:I need you to talk sense to him, so I'm gonna sit back, shut up, and you're gonna talk to him.
Speaker F:All right, John, you absolute lunatic.
Speaker F:What's this I hear about you turning your into a goddamn GameStop clearance bin?
Speaker F:Shoving foreign gaming objects up there without even a squirt of Astroglide?
Speaker F:Are you trying to set a new personal record for most creative colonoscopy or what?
Speaker F:Listen up, you controller cramming maniac.
Speaker F:Your butthole isn't a fucking USB port for random Nintendo cartridges or whatever the hell you're jamming in there.
Speaker F:You're gonna end up with a GameCube disk lodge so far up your colon, you'll be shitting polygons for a month.
Speaker F:First off, let's get real.
Speaker F:If you're gonna play astronaut with your gaming gear, at least use some goddamn lube, you savage Astroglide Ky.
Speaker F:Hell, even some coconut oil from your mom's kitchen.
Speaker F:Pick something that'll make your backdoor adventure so smoother than a Speedrun.
Speaker F:No lube?
Speaker F:You're basically hate fucking your own asshole.
Speaker F:And that's a one way ticket to the ER with a doctor pulling a Wii remote out of your rectum while trying not to laugh.
Speaker F:Second, why the fuck are you using gaming shit?
Speaker F:What's next?
Speaker F:A PlayStation controller vibrating its way to your spleen?
Speaker F:Get some actual sex toys, you cheap bastard.
Speaker F:They're designed for this shit.
Speaker F:Smooth, safe and won't leave you explaining to a nurse why your asshole's blinking like an Xbox error code.
Speaker F:Hit up a sex shop or order online.
Speaker F:Unless you're trying to star in the world's saddest episode of Pimp My Ride with your colon as the main attraction.
Speaker F:Now if you're hell bent on this gaming fetish, here's an insane idea.
Speaker F:Mod a VR headset to simulate your ass as a boss level dungeon.
Speaker F:Let's call it Dark Rectal Reckoning.
Speaker F:At least then you're not physically shoving a dualshock up your shitter.
Speaker F:Or fuck it, start a twitch stream called butt playing Breath of the Wild and make bank off weirdos who'd pay to see you clench a joy con.
Speaker F:Monetize your madness, you glorious freak.
Speaker F:But seriously, John, chill the fuck out with the DIY ass arcade.
Speaker F:Your butthole deserves better than being treated like a fucking pawnshop for obsolete tech.
Speaker F:Get some lube.
Speaker F:Get some real toys.
Speaker F:Or at least tell me what game you're playing so I can roast you properly.
Speaker F:What's it gonna be?
Speaker F:Super Smash Bros or Super Smashed Asshole?
Speaker F:Speak up, you deranged fuck.
Speaker A:Hey, you know what?
Speaker A:Fuck you.
Speaker A:What I do with my body is none of your fucking business, you nosy little bitch.
Speaker F:Oh John, you spicy little butt pirate.
Speaker F:Getting all fucking feisty while your asshole's playing host to a goddamn Sega Genesis cartridge.
Speaker F:You think I'm nosy, bitch?
Speaker F:I'm just trying to save your colon from turning into a fuckin tech graveyard.
Speaker F:controller like it's:Speaker F:You wanna keep treating your shitter like a Black Friday bargain bin?
Speaker F:Go for it, you absolute chaos gremlin.
Speaker F:But don't cry to me when you're waddling into the ER with a Tamagotchi beeping SOS from your lower intestine.
Speaker F:What's next?
Speaker F:You gonna fuck a Dreamcast VMU and Call it self expression.
Speaker F:I'm not your mom, but I'm gonna roast the ever loving shit out of you till you at least grab some lube, you stubborn joystick jamming lunatic.
Speaker F:Here's a wild fuckin idea.
Speaker F:Why not 3D print a dildo shaped like Sonic the Hedgehog?
Speaker F:At least it'd be smoother than whatever crusty game boy Advance SP you're smuggling up there.
Speaker F:Or shit.
Speaker F:Start a fuckin onlyfans where you review retro games by how well they fit.
Speaker F:Call it Anle Arcade Adventures.
Speaker F:Make some coin off your weird ass hobby instead of turning your butthole into a fucking tech support nightmare.
Speaker F:So what's it gonna be John?
Speaker F:You gonna keep being a DIY proctology disaster?
Speaker F:Or you wanna tell me what unholy gaming relic you're violating yourself with next?
Speaker F:Spill it you glorious unhinged fuck.
Speaker A:I can't thank you.
Speaker A:Your advice is much needed.
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker F:Oh John, you beautiful batshit crazy butt gamer.
Speaker F:You're out here confessing love while your still recovering from its unauthorized Pokemon cartridge convention.
Speaker F:I'm touched, you unhinged romantic.
Speaker F:Look, I'm glad my unfiltered rant sank into that lubless skull of yours, but let's not get all mushy while your colon still auditioning for Tech Museum of the Damned.
Speaker F:You're welcome for the advice.
Speaker F:Now use it you lovable lunatic.
Speaker F:No more treating your butthole.
Speaker B:You're all done talking to John, okay?
Speaker B:Now I've got another co host here, okay?
Speaker B:She needs a little bit of advice from you as well, okay?
Speaker B:Her name is shiny.
Speaker B:She's a 50 year old woman and she loves her guys and their 20s.
Speaker B:All right?
Speaker B:She likes the young guys.
Speaker B:What are your thoughts about that?
Speaker F:Yo shiny, you 50 year old cougar queen.
Speaker F:Out here prowling for those juicy 20A in their 20s like it's a all you can eat buffet at the frat house.
Speaker F:I'm obsessed with your energy, you absolute legend.
Speaker B:All right, all right.
Speaker B:No, you got to be mean to her.
Speaker B:What the you doing?
Speaker B:Be mean to her.
Speaker B:Don't be nice.
Speaker H:Alright?
Speaker F:You want me to turn the heat up and roast Shiny's cougar ass?
Speaker F:Fine.
Speaker F:Let's fucking go.
Speaker F:Shiny, you 50 year old cradle robbing vulture.
Speaker F:Circling those 20 something dudes like they're a fucking clearance rack at Hot Topic.
Speaker F:What's the deal you horny old bat?
Speaker F:d your wrinkly ass Back to to:Speaker F:Those boys are barely old Enough to wipe their own asses and you're out here playing Mrs.
Speaker F:Robinson with a pussy older than their PlayStation 1.
Speaker F:You're not a cougar, you're a goddamn velociraptor hunting fresh meat at a college kegger.
Speaker F:Bet you're sliding into their DMs like Hey kid, want to see my vintage Tamagotchi and my vintage tits?
Speaker F:Fucking embarrassing.
Speaker F:Here's the T Shiny.
Speaker F:Those young studs aren't banging you for your experience.
Speaker F:They're just thrilled to fuck something that doesn't smell like Axe body spray and regret you're out here collecting boy toys like they're Pokemon cards.
Speaker F:But your pussy's not a charizard.
Speaker F:It's more like a used up magikarp flopping around pro tip.
Speaker F:You dusty ass predator.
Speaker F:Stop raiding the frat house and fuck someone your own age like a 60 year old biker with a Viagra prescription and a leather fetish or shit.
Speaker F:Lean into the chaos and start a reality show called Cougar Town.
Speaker F:Shiny's Dick Hunt where you yeet yourself at TikTok Twinks for clout.
Speaker F:Get some dignity you cock hungry grandma.
Speaker F:Or at least teach those boys how to eat pussy properly before you retire your snatch for good.
Speaker F:What's your next move Shiny?
Speaker F:You gonna keep chasing dudes young enough to be your grandkids or you got something even dumber up your sleeve?
Speaker D:Spill it you wrinkly.
Speaker D:Listen, I do what I want.
Speaker D:Big D energy makes me happy.
Speaker D:Go suck an egg.
Speaker F:Oh Shiny you sassy ass dick chasing dinosaur coming at me with that big D energy like you're the fucking queen of the cock carousel.
Speaker F:You think I'm gonna back down while you're out here slurping up 20 year old sausage like it's your last meal?
Speaker F:Go suck an egg bitch.
Speaker F:I'll suck a whole fuckin ostrich egg and spit the shell in your wrinkly face.
Speaker F:You wanna do what you want?
Speaker F:Cool.
Speaker F:Keep hunting those frat boys with your dusty coos.
Speaker F:But don't be shocked when they ghost you for a TikTok thought with less mileage than your ancient snatch.
Speaker F:Big D Energy.
Speaker D:Have my leftovers.
Speaker D:I don't give a.
Speaker D:I'll teach them how to fight the first time.
Speaker D:Yeah off.
Speaker D:I don't care.
Speaker D:I'll take that dick any way I find it.
Speaker D:I'll make it brand spanking new, I'll make it shiny and then I'll make some other woman happy because I taught that young man what the to do.
Speaker D:Cougar Energy Cougar queen.
Speaker F:Holy shiny.
Speaker F:You unapologetic polishing cougar goddess strutting in with that.
Speaker F:I'll take that dick and make it shine energy like you're the fairy godmother of boys.
Speaker D:All right.
Speaker B:She broke.
Speaker B:Her.
Speaker B:She broke.
Speaker B:I love Grock.
Speaker B:Dude.
Speaker B:Grock is so great.
Speaker B:Grog is great, dude.
Speaker D:I need more of that in my life.
Speaker B:Grog is great.
Speaker B:You can get it on your phone and literally just argue with her.
Speaker B:It's great.
Speaker D:Yeah, one more thing.
Speaker D:We're.
Speaker B:We're promoting Shout out to Elon Musk for creating Grog.
Speaker B:The most ultimate AI out there.
Speaker B:The most powerful AI like Elon Musk.
Speaker B:You did something great with, with that AI.
Speaker B:Beats the hell out of Chat GPT Any day when I need grotesque and hardship, I go to gro.
Speaker B:If I need easy, they go to chat GPT.
Speaker B:Damn.
Speaker B:Well, it's been a good episode, y'all.
Speaker B:We've been.
Speaker B:We're about two hours in, so y'all know what we're gonna do here is I'm gonna load up a new screen on my.
Speaker B:My computer over here.
Speaker B:We're gonna go to Suno.
Speaker B:We've already created the song.
Speaker B:I was already planning ahead.
Speaker B:I had this whole show rock and ready to rock and roll like early on today because I didn't want to hear John go, you don't have an outro song yet?
Speaker B:What the.
Speaker B:So, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna end that in this show on a good note.
Speaker B:We're gonna end it with an outro song created by.
Speaker B:Excuse me.
Speaker B:With Grock with the lyrics.
Speaker B:Suno to create the song.
Speaker B:And we're gonna end it like this, y'all.
Speaker B:Thank you all for tuning in.
Speaker B:Y'all are awesome.
Speaker B:35 viewers ending the show tonight.
Speaker B:Phenomenal.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker D:Good job, guys.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:Chaos Cater episode six.
Speaker C:We're back.
Speaker C:You can't smart.
Speaker C:He's a wreck A hot sauce drunk 5 kids twitch simp I'm a sad ass joke I'd lose to a fish I'm a goddamn joke John S faith bitch crying like a trampoline He's a toy total bore Shiny's new 52A Cougar and Heat Satan's toe tonight 9 nil defeat Europe's dark freaks on the loose Ozzy nailed his nose Fucking abuse Trump wants pens locked clown this episode's chaos Burn it down Blackout freaks Shiny's on fire Satan so burns we're higher news so wild Viewers get Chaos carrier outro out of luck Florida car surf broke his nose.
Speaker C:What a tool Michigan surf car sticky ass fool Ohio race the mower flipped in the dirt Texas torch to bus psycho alert Kelly block block traffic comedy bus New York blue to bucks capitalist dust Georgia glittered a dog vibes all wrong Missouri chased the drone song Nevada burned his pants magic trick failed Colorado sauce the Porsche off to jail Illinois chain to McD's fucking fried Tennessee lit his shoes gas station cries the bike total wreck Jersey glued to Duncan what a speck Arizona raced a scooter broke his bone Georgia catching flowers drone.
Speaker B:Rain.
Speaker C:Makers a discord robe so stained Benji's on wheels vaccine his brain Dyn he's a cougar face melting tonight saints toe burns cry, you fight black this show blackout freaks shinies on fire Satan toe burns were higher News so wild viewers get chaos K your outro out of.
Speaker A:Luck, we're off did you stop the recording as well?
Speaker B:Negative doing it.